I was speechless, stunned. Elaine continued crying inconsolably, and I didn't know what to say. My biggest fear was coming true: the secrets of the past were coming for me, threatening to destroy the present we had all built, threatening to hurt the people I loved the most. I was willing to carry the weight of the pain I suffered in silence, but it was too late. Everyone would know.
"He told me, Azula." Elaine sobbed on my chest, and I didn't know what to do. "Jace told me that you were his mate, that he had rejected you... For me... I can't accept it, Azula. I can't believe it's true. Tell me it's a lie."
"What? Is that true, Azula?" Aron arrived at my side quickly. I lifted my face, and my parents and Aron watched us without understanding.
"Elaine, calm down, easy. Get up. We can talk about this, but not like this." I helped her up and took her to the sofa. My mother found her a glass of water, and Elaine drank it, calming down. She looked at me, and I looked at her in silence.
"So, it's true? He was your mate?"
Everyone was looking at me, waiting for an answer. I sighed. The time had come to say it.
"It's true... Jace... He was my mate, and he... Rejected me."
The silence that followed my words was deafening. Everyone was looking at me with different expressions. We were silent when Aron stood up. "I'm going to kill him."
I grabbed his arm quickly and pushed him back onto the couch. "No, no, Aron. This is exactly what I didn't want. You can't punish him for loving her." He remained silent, looking at me annoyed, as if he were thinking of all the valid reasons why he shouldn't kill him.
"When? When did that happen?"
"It was the day of our transformation when I ran away... It was because I smelled my mate. His scent led me to the Red River, and he was there."
"And he rejected you."
"Yes... And I agreed. I accepted his rejection. You loved each other. I saw you choosing each other for a long time. I wouldn't get in the middle, Elaine. God, I would never do that, and it's okay. Jace wasn't the one for me. I was born to be the Alpha King's Luna, not Jace Stronghold's."
"So that was it... That was the reason you walked away, why you didn't want to be with us. You had to endure all that in silence. You suffered in silence. Why didn't you ever tell me anything, Azula? I would have understood. I would have stayed with you."
Tears slipped from my eyes as I remembered everything that had happened these past six years. "I couldn't, Aron. How could I hurt you like that? I couldn't. I knew you would blame Jace, that you would hate him. He's your best friend. You would have forced him to choose me, and I didn't want that. I chose to step aside, remain silent, and not say anything for the love I had for you. I always wanted you to be happy. How could I come along and ruin that and get in the way of the relationship between my two best friends?" I sobbed, covering my face with my hands. "And yes, I resented him for a long time. I hated him for not waiting for me. But I could never hate him for not choosing me because even if he had wanted to choose me at that moment, it was too late. I would never have let him do it. I love you and you, and Elliot, and... Jace. I couldn't hurt you like that, create an enmity that way. I thought it was better that they only lose me than for us to lose each other."
Elaine hugged me, and we cried together for a while. My mother wouldn't stop crying on my father's shoulder, and Aron seemed to be in a trance, just staring at one spot.
"I'm so sorry, Azula. I took what belonged to you. I knew Jace had a mate somewhere, and I didn't care, and..."
"Elaine, no... Let's not bring the past to hurt us further in the future. You can't control your heart. You don't choose who to love. Don't be sad for me. The Moon Goddess has blessed me; she has brought someone into my life who has loved me since the first time he saw me. I am happy, Elaine, and I want you to be happy. It's what I always wanted, for you to be happy." She hugged me and cried on my chest for a while until she fell asleep. I laid her down on the couch and found a blanket to cover her with. My father had taken my mother to rest in their room, and it was just Aron and me. I looked at him, and he looked at me. He came closer and hugged me tightly, as if he never wanted to let me go again. He cried silently on my shoulder, and I held him close.
"Forgive me, Azula. I resented your silence. I blamed you for what happened in the past, thinking you were selfish, and you... You've been carrying the weight of everyone on your shoulders. I can't imagine what it was like for you, and I feel like shit for not realizing it from the beginning, the way you always tensed up when he appeared, the look of longing on your face every time you saw him. I thought you just missed him like the rest of us, and I didn't realize that... We didn't feel the same way about you."
"It's okay, Aron. You couldn't have known, and I didn't want you to know. I did all this for you, for you guys. It was enough that I knew, that I suffered. I didn't want to make everyone uncomfortable, and now... You know."
"I'm so sorry, Azula." Aron cried on my shoulder, and I just thought, I need to tell my mate.
"Aron... I need to go talk to Alec."
"Does he know?"
"He doesn't know. Nobody knew. I never told anyone, Aron. The consequences this will bring will ruin everything. You can't tell anyone. Promise me you won't tell anyone. I don't want the entire pack to resent Elaine and Jace. They are their Alpha and Luna, and they've done well. I don't want them judged anymore for silly things from the past."
"They're not silly things, Azula, and you know it. You were supposed to be his Luna, this pack's Luna."
"No, no, it wasn't supposed to be like this, Aron. I was born to be the Alpha King's Luna. I was born to be the Luna Queen. Jace was just a fling in my life. I am convinced that this is destiny, that the Moon Goddess put me together with Alec long ago because she knew that Jace would reject me."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I feel it in my heart, Aron."
He was silent. We stood there hugging each other for a while until the sun came up.
"I have to go, Aron."
"Okay, take care."
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