chapter two

I shift again, letting out an involuntary sigh as my mind continues to wander down dangerous paths. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sebastian pause mid-sentence, eyes narrowing slightly as he gazes over at me. Our eyes meet for a brief, charged moment before I drop my gaze back to my notebook, heart racing.

I know I should pay attention to the lesson, but it's impossible to focus with these sweltering feelings rising up inside me. Everywhere I look in this classroom seems to hold a memory - the desk we carved our initials into sophomore year, the back row where we'd steal kisses thinking no one could see. Being this close to him after so long is intoxicating.

I take a shaky breath, try to steady myself. Just have to get through this last five minutes, then I can escape this suffocating tension. As Sebastian resumes talking, his voice washes over me in a way that's all too familiar, stirring up longing I'd thought long buried. This is absolute torture.

As the lecture finally concludes and students start packing up, I take my time putting my things away slowly, dreading this moment. I feel Sebastian's eyes on me but don't look up.

Once the room empties, he clears his throat. "Aurora. A word, please."

I steel myself and look up at last. His expression is inscrutable. "Professor," I reply stiffly.

He sighs. "This situation is...difficult for both of us. But I'm still your professor and expect you to conduct yourself accordingly in my classroom."

I nod, cheeks flushing again. "Of course. I apologize for my lack of focus today."

A charged silence falls. So much hangs unsaid between us, old wounds barely healed. Finally Sebastian speaks again. "See that it doesn't happen again. You're dismissed."

With a curt nod, I turn to leave, heart in my throat. This class is going to be the end of me at this rate. But I'll do what I must to survive it with my dignity intact, complicated history or not.

I pause at the door, hesitating for a moment before turning back to look at him. Sebastian is gathering his papers, but I can feel the tension radiating off his rigid form.

"Professor...despite everything, I want you to know I take my studies seriously. I'll work hard and won't let our past disrupt your classroom." I say it firmly, hoping he understands I mean to conduct myself professionally from here on out.

He meets my gaze for a long moment, searching my eyes as if looking for something. His expression remains unreadable. Finally, he gives a curt nod. "See that you do. You're still responsible for learning the material like any other student. I expect no special treatment."

"Of course." I nod back, then steal myself to ask the question burning inside. "Are we...going to be able to move past this?"

Sebastian looks away, jaw tightening. For a moment he doesn't reply, and I worry I've overstepped. But then he murmurs, almost too quiet to hear, "Only time will tell."

With that, I know our conversation is over. I exit quietly, mind spinning with everything left unresolved between us.

I sigh as I walk slowly to my next class, still reeling from the events of the morning. Seeing Sebastian after all this time threw me completely off balance. All the old feelings and memories came flooding back no matter how hard I tried to suppress them.

It doesn't help that he still affects me so deeply, those vivid green eyes that can see right through me. The way his voice alone is enough to stir feelings I've tried to bury for so long. Being near him again has awakened something within me that I thought was long dormant.

I have to find a way to compartmentalize if I'm going to survive this semester without losing my head or my heart all over again. Sebastian made it clear our past cannot interfere with his classroom. But with that kind of magnetic energy still crackling between us, it will be so hard to remain detached.

I sigh again, rubbing my temples, already stressed at the thought of facing him in class tomorrow. This is going to be the hardest class of my academic career by far. I just hope in the end, we can both come through it with our dignity intact.

I'm pulled from my turbulent thoughts by the buzz of my phone in my pocket. Fishing it out, I see it's my friend Belle calling. I breathe a sigh of relief for the distraction and answer with a faint "Hey."

"Aurora! How was your first day of classes? Did anything exciting happen?" Belle chirps brightly.

If only she knew. I ponder how much to share about my morning shock. "Well...you're not going to believe who showed up as my new Math professor."

"No way, don't tell me - it's not Sebastian, is it??"

I let out a groan. "That's exactly who it is. I walk into my class and there he is, standing at the front of the room!"

Belle gasps dramatically. "Shut up! I can't even imagine how awkward that must have been. Are you okay? What did you do??"

I proceed to recount the day's mortifying events - falling asleep, Sebastian reprimanding me, the loaded tension between us. Belle listens intently, making outraged noises in all the right places.

"Ugh I still can't get over it. This semester is going to be pure torture seeing him every day," I lament.

Belle sighs sympathetically. "I'm so sorry honey. But you've got this - just stay focused on your studies and don't let him distract you too much! Let me know if you need any support dealing with Professor Hottie, okay?"

Her words lift my spirits slightly. "Thanks Belle. Hopefully in a few months this will all be behind us." I pray I can make it through in one piece.

Belle and I chat for a little while longer to take my mind off things, then she has to go to her own class. As I pocket my phone and head to my next lecture, I'm feeling slightly better after venting to my friend. She always knows how to cheer me up.

Still, Sebastian is weighing heavily on my mind. Running into him again has stirred up so many memories and emotions I thought were buried deep. I'd done my best to move on after our messy breakup, but seeing him again has reminded me of how deeply he affected me.

I sigh quietly to myself. This semester is sure to be a challenge, navigating not only my classes but also facing my ex every day as my professor. I know I need to compartmentalize and maintain professional boundaries. Easier said than done when there's so much turbulent history between us.

Pushing thoughts of Sebastian from my head, I focus on taking careful notes in my next lecture. One day at a time, I tell myself. As long as I work hard and stay focused on my studies, I'll survive this. I just hope our complicated past doesn't get in the way of my learning.

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