Chapter 2: Kaiden’s Search

Kaiden’s P.O.V

*“**Alpha, that woman is here again**” Beta Luke mind-linked. “Tell her I’m busy***” I demanded as I stared out of the window in my study.

Where is she moon goddess? Where is my mate?

This thought as been in my mind since I turned 16, everyone around me had been granted their mates but mine was no where to be found, I long for her so badly but as of yet, I’ve had no luck. Some say it’s a good thing as a mate makes you weak, others think that a mate makes your wolf stronger and more in touch with your senses as the urge to protect them intensifies, as for me, I’m not sure what I believe but I sure as hell want to find out.

Being an Alpha has its benefits but it can also be lonely, you never know who you can trust so your guard is always up.

As I was looking out of the window, watching parents with their pups play in the grass, I was ripped away from my thoughts by a loud crash and a shriek “KAIDIE! IS IT TRUE YOU’RE GOING AWAY?!” Ashley.

“First of all, you know damn well it’s Alpha Kaiden so you will call me as such, second, yes I am going away for a week, not that it is any of your business and third who in the HELL told you that you could come in here?”

Anger. Anger and disappointment is what I felt. I was angry and disappointed in myself. I had searched for my mate for a few years and when i didn’t find her, I became depressed and turned to alcohol, I wondered if I would ever find her and in my weakness, I turned to Ashley. Luke told me it was a bad idea, Ashley was obsessive by nature and obsessed with the idea that I would take her as my Luna, so much so that when she found her mate Gamma Damien, she rejected him, the pain damn near killed him but Ashley only had one thought in her mind, she would become Luna and no mate bond would stop her. I thought I’d put a stop to her thoughts of power when I told her I had no intention of rejecting my mate when I found her but I was so, very wrong.

“How could you leave and not take me with you? We’re partners, who would serve your needs if I didn’t come with you?” Don’t get me wrong, Ashley was a beautiful she-wolf, she had long red hair, green eyes and olive skin from the sun, she was tall and slender but had curves in the right places, for any other man she would be a trophy wife, but Ashley wasn’t the loving type, she couldn’t be a loving wife and mother, if we were to marry and have a child, the child would be no more than an heir to her, someone who would keep her relevant in the eyes of the pack and that for me was not an option.

I want to marry my mate for love, not for the sake of carrying an heir.

“Ashley, I’ve told you a thousand times, we are NOT a couple, we are NOT partners, you are nothing more than a bed warmer.”

Ashley’s cheeks glowed red and puffed out, she screamed with anger and frustration, turned on her heels and walked towards the door but before she left, she said in an infuriated ton “one day, you’ll love me Kaiden,” and with that she left.

After that goddess awful interaction was over, I sat down behind my desk and mind-linked Luke “get your ass in here!” annoyance underlined my tone and a minute later there was a knock on my door “Enter” I said with a sharp tone and in walked my Beta with a look that said ‘I told you so’ which in a weird way calmed me as I thought of our childhood and how he would give a cheeky grin when ever he told me something would go wrong and it did……A LOT.

“You summoned me angry, I mean Alpha” he said with a smirk. “Remind me again why I made you my Beta” I joked “because you looooove me” he joked back, we both chuckled and I gestured for him to sit in the seat on the opposite side of my desk.

“Are the preparations for our visit in place?” I asked with a more professional tone. “Yes Alpha, we have a car arriving at 6am, that should get us there by 8 and Kaleb and Luna Tamara will be handling the pack business while we’re gone.”

Although my brother had no desire to be Alpha, he’d sat with our father and I while we handled the packs business, there was no one better to hold the fort than Kaleb and with my mother’s guidance, I knew my pack were in safe hands with them.

“Excellent.” I said plainly, Luke stared at me for a moment and opened his mouth as if he had something to say but swiftly closed it again, I looked back at him and gave a reassuring look that said it was okay to speak freely.

Luke dropped his gaze to the floor and sighed “Do you think you’ll find our Luna at Half Moon?” I searched my mind for an answer, I wanted to say something hopeful but instead, I simply replied “I really don’t know Luke.”

It’s important that an Alpha finds his Luna because without a Luna, rogues see packs as weak, though in our case, we have proven to be strong without a Luna. Luke lifted his head and looked at me with a with a knowing smile, Luke, himself has not found his mate yet either which is both comforting and yet, still so sad.

Luke deserves more happiness than anyone, he lost both his parents so close together when he was 11 or 12 years old, they passed away leaving Luke and his little sister Amelia alone so my mother and father took them in and raised them as their own and when my own father sadly passed away and I became the Alpha, I formally made Luke my Beta which in turn continues his blood line.

“Who knows Luke, you might be the one who finally finds his mate,” I stated with a smile. Luke looked at me and smiled back softly, followed by a small nod of his head and replied “Yeah, maybe.” his tone sounded equally as deflated as mine.

Luke and I sat in silence for what felt like hours but was in reality, probably for only minutes, I then interrupted the silence by telling my Beta I had a mountain of paper work to get through. Luke stood from his seat and gave a small bow and left, I then began to sift through the files that sat on my desk, doing my best to get through them ahead of my departure tomorrow.

I went through file after file with a fine tooth comb, ensuring I’d crossed all the T’s and dotted all of the I’s. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t leave too much of a burden on my brother in my absence, after all, usually all he had to worry about was women and travelling the world.

My brother was the complete polar opposite to me, when I came of age, I searched for my mate, I wanted to find her so badly not only for love, but selfishly so I had someone to hold my hand through the transition from heir to Alpha but my brother was much more laid back, he too is mate-less but rather than search for his counter part, he runs through life as a man whore, care free. He lives in the moment and that can only be admired, sometimes I can feel a little jealousy, my brother can just take off at the drop of a hat and be gone for months, only to return to rest or when I need him, unfortunately that is something I can’t do as an Alpha.

Whenever I take a trip anywhere, for any reason, everything has to be planned carefully and mapped to the very last second, otherwise it would cause chaos for the pack and I couldn’t allow that. I had to put my packs well being above my own, they didn’t deserve an Alpha so arrogant that he values his own life more than that of their own.

while sifting through the files, I became distracted by a soft knock on my door, I‘d know that knock anywhere, it was my mother.

“Come in mother” I called out, not even a full second later, the door opened and my mother walked in, closing the door behind her, she walked across to my desk and took a seat.

I looked at her and smiled as she smiled back, she looked at me with a mother’s love but also concern. “Oh Kaiden, I do wish you wouldn’t work so hard my son” I took in her words and replied with a reassuring tone “I’m fine mother, I promise, I just want to get through these files so you and Kaleb won’t have to worry about this side of things while I’m away.”

She nodded in understanding and continued “I know darling, thank you for thinking of us but we’ll be fine,” I smiled at my mother’s confidence. I knew my mother was more than capable of handling it, goddess knows how much she helped my father during his time as Alpha, but I didn’t want that for her, my mother has done her time and she deserves to enjoy life.

It was my turn to care for her and though I wish she would give up her Luna title and enjoy some free time, she refused when I asked. She told me she won’t give it up until I find my mate, rogues were less likely to attack while we had a Luna and so she stuck with it, putting me and the pack before herself as she’d raised me to do the same.

“Are you ready for your trip?” She asked, the look on her face told me she was changing the subject, she knew exactly what I was thinking and wanted to avoid the topic completely. “Yeah, Luke’s handled the arrangements, I have a car picking us up at 6am.” My mother nodded and responded “I’ll be there to see you off.”

I smiled at her, I couldn’t argue with her about it because it wouldn’t make a difference, her tone changed and she spoke again “I hear that mongrel came to see you earlier” she stated, it didn’t take a genius to figure out who she was talking about, “Unfortunately” I said, “I assume she’s come to you?” I asked, not that I needed an answer because Ashley would always run to my mother when I’d rejected her advances or said something she didn’t like in hopes of my mother coming to her defence when the truth of the matter was, my mother couldn’t stand her.

When she found out what had happened between Ashley and I, she hit the roof, she unleashed a wrath I’d never expected of her, anyone would be forgiven for thinking that a Luna’s wrath was harsh, but what she unleashed that day was a mother’s wrath, and I had to admit, it was terrifying, it was far worse than any Luna’s temper I’d ever witnessed.

“Yes she did, I don’t know why you put up with her,” a light chuckle escaped me, I couldn’t help it, the irritation on my mother’s face only made me chuckle more. “Oh I’m so glad my misery causes you so much happiness.” She said. “Mother, just to be clear, I don’t put up with her, that’s exactly why she runs to you.”

I managed to respond through my ever growing chuckles, my mother then smiled and looked me in my eyes “Well, let me make myself clear Kaiden, I’m one more of that mongrels tantrums away from drowning her in the lake.” That was it, we burst into fits of laughter, though I knew it wasn’t just an idle threat, she meant it but the tone and expression on her face as the words left her lips were hilarious.

After a few minutes of uncontrollably laughing to the point of tears, we managed to calm ourselves and silence surrounded us for a moment until my mother decided to take her leave. “I have to go sweet heart, I promised Angie I would visit today as I’ll be tied up while you’re away, I love you darling, please don’t work too hard.”

I nodded at my mother as she left, throwing myself back into my files, I know she said they’ll be fine but I planned to make it as easy for them as I possibly could. If I got through these files, that was the biggest job done and one less thing for Kaleb and mother to worry about.

I’d managed to get through at least a quarter of the pile by the time lunch came around so I decided to invite Luke to my study for lunch. “Luke, you hungry” I asked through mind-link, Luke replied like a moody teenager “U****gh, obviously, when am I not dude?” I giggled at his child like response “G****et to my study, I’ll link the maids to bring us lunch” and with that I closed our link and linked the maids as promised.

Luke arrived just as the maids had left, his eyes widened as he took in the sight of the feast that lay on the table top. He sat down on the sofa opposite me “Dude, this looks amazing! I swear, if I don’t find my mate, I’ll be marrying the chef.” I laughed and replied “Yeah, you can try but I think his wife might have something to say about it,” we both laughed and I looked at him, I calmed myself again and looked back at my Beta “Well, what are you waiting for, tuck in,” Luke picked up a plate and said “I don’t need telling twice.” We piled up our plates and dug in, I can confirm, the food tasted as amazing it looked.

We filled ourselves to bursting point and just sat while it digested, Luke’s face looked like he was falling into a food coma and my stomach apparently looked pregnant because Luke’s cockiness came to the surface. “So what are you going to name it?” I looked at him in confusion “What do you mean?” I asked, not quite getting what he was getting at, “The baby” his reply was short and when I didn’t respond, he looked at me like I was a moron, “Urgh, the food baby you knuckle head.” Ooooooh so that’s what he meant, we both chuckled when I finally twigged what he was saying. “Angus” I replied through my chuckles. “Dude, that is the ugliest name I’ve ever heard! Of all the names in the world, why would you choose that one?” He asked with utter disgust on his face. I laughed, the tables have turned and it was his turn to look stupid “Yeah, Angus. You know, as in Aberdeen Angus, after the burger I literally just ate,” we burst into laughter again. “Oh yeah” Luke coughed out through his laughing.

We wiped the tears that had welled in our eyes from all the laughing and massaged our aching rib cages as we fought to calm ourselves, Luke then turned back to business mode as he stated “The maids have packed your suit case.” He paused for a second and continued on “Well, they’ve packed your suits. If you want something more comfortable, I suggest you pack a separate case for more casual wear,” I nodded in agreement, there was absolutely no way I was going to be in an uncomfortable suit in the privacy of which ever room they accommodated me in. “I think I’ll definitely do that,” I replied, not that I needed to because look knew all too well, that I hated the formal clothing I’d wear on a daily basis but out of politeness, I offered an answer anyway.

Luke nodded at me and cleared his throat “Well, thanks for lunch man but I need to go over the security arrangements with Damien before we leave tomorrow.” I gave a slight not and Luke left. Once he’d gone, I linked with a maid to collect the dishes and returned to my desk, I still had a ton of work to get through so I picked up where I left off and continued on.

This was another part of being an Alpha that I hated, paper work was the most boring and tedious part of my position, though it was necessary, I couldn’t honestly live without it, I wouldn’t miss it while I was away, that’s for certain.

By the time I’d finished with the files, I looked at the clock which read 6:43pm. I decided that I would retreat to my room and freshen up before I had one of the maids bring dinner to my quarters, I thought it best to get an early night ahead of my early start in the morning.

I grabbed my suit jacket that I had just tossed on the back of my desk chair, it had a few wrinkles where I’d been leaning on it for hours but it didn’t matter, it was merely part of a costume I’d wear to conduct my business, I much preferred my jeans or joggers, they were much more comfortable than this formal attire.

I left my study and made my way to my room on the third floor. Inside, it was more link a grand apartment with a big balcony over looking the pack lands, you could see for miles on a clear day but by far, my favourite view was that of the lake that sat just beyond the park. It was such a beautiful sight on a summer evening.

I took myself for a shower and then mind-linked one of the maids to bring dinner and sure enough after around 5 minutes, she appeared with the dinner cart and placed it on the table I had next to my window, I sat and ate a little even though my appetite was dwindled due to the question my Beta had put to me earlier, it was all I could think about. would I find my mate? Would he find his? It’s a possibility but I doubted it, i didn’t want to get my hopes up, I had to focus on the purpose of my trip to Half Moon, they needed an alliance because they had an influx of rogue attacks recently, no one knew why, but for some reason they were targeting the pack and I will always help a pack in need if I can.

The fact is I’d already decided to help them but I needed to know what kind of pack they were and that is knowledge only gained by seeing it for one’s self.

I’d finished my meal and tried to filter through my thoughts as best I could, between thinking about the possibility of finding my mate and what I could offer their Alpha in terms of help, I realised how tied I felt.

I decided I would lay down and read. Reading had become a habit of mine over the past year or so, I could always rely on a book to take me out of reality for a little while. I walked through the door that led to my actual bedroom and mind-linked the maid to come and retrieve the dishes and I picked a book off the shelf, I laid down and allowed the pages to take me to the mountains where the story takes place.

I put myself into the main character’s shoes as he went on his journey for riches, only instead of riches he found love. These are the novels I took refuge in, the stories of mere men exploring and coming across a damsel in distress, swooping in to save the maiden only to fall hopelessly in love and having their outlook on life change completely, some may call me sad or a hopeless romantic but for me, I could place myself in their shoes. After all, I’m an Alpha without a mate, I have been on my own adventures near and far in search of the only treasure my heart and my wolf desires. My mate. It’s a far cry from the riches my book characters sought, but to me, what could be more valuable than someone who loves you unconditionally?

I soon found myself in a different world from that of the book, I found myself in a field of lavender that was blanketed with summer sun and butterflies. I glanced around at my surrounding and suddenly stopped as I heard rustling sounds from the deeper parts, Jax suddenly pushed forward and took control, as much as I tried, I couldn’t stop him. My bones cracked and broke until I’d completely shifted. Jax’s eyes glowed as they scanned the field looking for the potential threat but soon, his gaze fell upon a beautiful white wolf frolicking and playing.

Her size easily equalled that of an Alpha minus the black fur. As the sun kissed the beautiful creature, we could see hints of lavender streaks, neither Jax or myself have ever seen anything like her before, she was absolutely breath taking.

Silence fell upon us for what felt like eternity but then, out of no where, the gorgeous creature crashed into us, landing on top of us, our back to the floor. She looked down at us and we noticed her eyes, they were glowing purple. She climbed off of us and sat staring at us right in the eyes, Jax suddenly grew tense and his eyes widened “Mate!”

We were frozen on the spot, was this beautiful wolf really our mate? This couldn’t be right could it? Before I realised it, the day gave way to night and the moon appeared, surrounded by stars, as I studied the wolf infront of us, the lavender streaks through her fur glowed and her eyes appeared to glow brighter than they had when she landed on us and then, for the first time, she spoke “I’m waiting” she said and giggled. “Wow, even her voice is beautiful Jax.” Jax didn’t respond to me but instead, he answered the wolf “I’m coming love.”

Suddenly the wolf turned and ran into the lavender field, giggling with every step and bounce, Jax gave chase also chuckling as he ran. It’s been a long time since I’d witnessed and felt Jax be genuinely happy, I sometimes forget that Jax also feels the loneliness that comes with not having our mate.

Part of me wanted to regain control and ask the wolf to bring forward her human counterpart so I too could meet my half of my mate but I didn’t want to ruin this for Jax. He’s guided me through so many years and never judged my decisions, even if I was wrong.

Jax deserved every second of this. Jax made the decision to pounce on his mate, as soon as he landed on her they giggled together and she nuzzled his snout, Jax reciprocated her advance and nuzzled her in return, Jax removed himself from her and sat down, she laid down in the grass and gestured for us to join her, we laid down beside her as close as we could get and looked up at the moon and stars. Jax lowered his eyes to meet hers and asked “What’s your name love?” “Amber” she responded, her voice sounded sweet as honey “A beautiful name for an even more beautiful wolf” Jax replied, sincerity flooding his tone. “I’m Jax” he informed her.

At this point, Jax had melted entirely, he looked at her like a love sick puppy, not that I could blame him, I’ll probably have the same dumb look when I meet her human. “Well Jax, I must say, you’re certainly taking your sweet ass time to find me” she joked Jax gave a light giggle and responded “Me? What about you? you haven’t found me either.” Snap, surely she didn’t have a come back for that. “Well, judging by how quick your human allowed you control, I’d say he’s easy going, my meat bag on the other hand is a little ball of man hating rage.” Jax burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, Amber joined and I couldn’t help but gulp internally, “What the hell does she mean Jax?” I asked in panic, Jax calmed himself and said “That means you have your work cut out my friend” Jax chuckled a little more but quickly composed himself “Kaiden can be a handful, but he’s a good guy” he finally responded to her. “Amber, can I ask what your humans name is?” Jax asked, clearly realising that I had taken a back seat so he could enjoy his time with his mate so the least he could do was get my human mates name. “Yeah sure, it’s…..”

At that moment I was pulled from my dreams by a loud banging sound, it took me a moment to pull myself together before I yelled “Who is it?,” I could feel my irritation surge through my veins when a female voice called back “It’s me Kaidie, can I come in.”

Goddess, why are you punishing me?’ I thought to myself “Goddess damn it Ashley!” I yelled, I looked at the clock and noted it said 12:13am “Ashley, it’s after midnight, what the hell do you want?” I asked the question but I didn’t really care about the answer. “I wanted to show you what you’ll be coming home to,” she stated in that annoying tone she thought was seductive. “No Ashley, get lost, I have to be up in a few hours!”

“But Kaidie?” By now my irritation was growing into anger “No Ashley, leave before I throw you out of here!” Truth be told, I wouldn’t. I wasn’t one for putting my hands on a woman other than to protect myself and my pack but she didn’t know that.

I sat for a few minutes, the silence clarifying the fact Ashley had left, I hated to scare her but goddess knows that woman can’t take no for an answer.

I laid myself back down and stared at the ceiling. Was that really my mate? Or was this just a sick joke the moon goddess was playing? I don’t know but for the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful. “Jax, do you really think that was our mate?” I asked, Jax raced forward excitedly “Yes, she’s waiting for us, we need to find her now!” I chuckled to myself as I saw him jumping around in my mind like an excited puppy “Jax, calm down, we’ll find her.” I continued chuckling as Jax carried on bouncing, it was time to resume my search for my mate, she said she was waiting for us so what kind of werewolf would we be if we kept her waiting? I smiled to myself and as Jax finally settled, so did I, I closed my eyes and drifted back off into a deep, peaceful sleep for the first time in years, for once, I was actually looking forward to a new day.

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