"—And that sigh?" The voice of his younger brother, Luka, snapped him out of his thoughts. Luka placed a cup of coffee in front of him and sat across from him, face to face.
Carlo sighed again before answering. He stared at the steaming cup of coffee as if in it he could find answers to his emotional problems with Adrien Gautier.
"Problems," he replied vaguely, hinting at the complexity of his feelings.
Luka, ever perceptive, noticed Carlo's evasive response and decided to directly address the issue that was causing his discomfort.
"You're never like this because of problems at work," observed Luka as he bit into a cookie. "It's because of Adrien, right?" he added without really waiting for an answer, since he already knew the answer in part. "What did that son of a bitch do to you? Well, it doesn't matter, I'm going to break his pretty face." Luka was about to get up, but Carlo stopped him by grabbing his wrist and made him sit down again.
"Wait, Luka, it's not because of him," Carlo tried to explain, knowing that Luka probably wouldn't believe him entirely. "Well, not entirely," he finally admitted, acknowledging that Adrien had a role in his emotional problems.
"Oh, shit, I knew it." Luka got up again, this time not letting Carlo stop him.
"Wait, Luka, don't do anything you'll regret later," Carlo pleaded, knowing how impulsive his younger brother could be when it came to protecting him.
"I won't regret hitting that son of a bitch even if I die," Luka said with contained rage.
"It's just that he's not the problem." Carlo hurried over to him and spun him around to face him. "It's me," he finally confessed, looking down sheepishly and backing away a little.
…----------------...
"So, do you want to talk about it or not?" Luka crossed his arms and leaned back on the back of the couch, waiting for a clear and honest explanation.
Since Carlo had stopped him at the door, more than twenty minutes had passed in total silence, the only background sound being the ticking of the wall clock. Luka's patience was wearing thin.
"I think… I think I…" Carlo murmured, visibly nervous at the thought of confessing his feelings. "I really don't know."
"Carlo, how old are you? Fifteen? Spit it out, damn it," Luka urged, feeling the urgency to get a straight answer.
"Fine, fine!" Carlo took a deep breath, looking at the floor before looking up to meet his brother's expectant eyes. "I, I think I… I think I like Adrien."
The air seemed to freeze as did time. The sound of the clock seemed distant and soon disappeared into nothing. Luka was stunned to hear such a tremendous statement. He could even swear he forgot how to breathe. They spent more than five minutes in complete silence until the youngest decided to break the ice.
"Did you say what I think you said?" The disbelief in his words was palpable.
"I can't believe it either," he admitted ruefully. "…I swore I didn't have feelings for him, but when I saw him forget about me… when I saw him with that idiot," Luka was surprised by the malice his brother used in the last words.
Carlo was a quiet person who didn't get into trouble, let alone get upset; even in desperate situations, he remained unfazed. However, at that moment, he was quite the opposite: furrowed brows, fists clenched tightly in his lap, and a tense jaw, as if he wanted to hit someone.
"So you don't like him," Luka spoke after several seconds of silence. Carlo looked up in confusion.
"Why do you say that?"
"It's simple, brother." Luka leaned back in the armchair and crossed his arms. "Before, you didn't care about him nor did you reciprocate his displays of affection, but now that someone else is by his side, you feel replaced and that's what really bothers you." Carlo was silent, analyzing his younger brother's words. "You're only infatuated with him because he's always shown you affection, but now that you don't have his attention, and you know someone else can make him fall in love and make him forget you forever, you get angry. You don't like him, you just don't want to be left as a second best."
Carlo clenched his hands even tighter and leaned forward. "That's the problem, I don't want him to forget me," he admitted with a tinge of sadness.
"Wasn't that what you wanted at first? Didn't you hate his obsession with you?" Luka settled into the armchair and sipped some of the tea in front of him. "You don't like him, you just hate being replaced."
"Of course not!" he shouted. "He ended the stupid contract early because of that damn American jerk."
"You hated Adrien for making you sign that contract, and believe me, so did I, but before you were screaming for it to end once and for all. What changed? I'll tell you, that person showed up and you lost the attention you had." Luka's voice was calm, but a hint of reproach could be discerned. "Although I don't like Adrien, I must admit that it bothered me to see him crawling for you and you didn't even pay him a little attention."
"Are you my brother or his? I don't understand why you're defending him now when you know what kind of person he is." Carlo furrowed his brows and looked at Luka angrily. "He even hit you."
"Well, one thing has nothing to do with the other. The asshole was crawling for you and it was annoying to watch, many times I wanted to tell him to have some self-respect, but I also enjoyed watching him humiliate himself."
"You are completely crazy."
"I know and you know what else I know? I know you're a selfish asshole. Carlo, he finally let go of that blind love for you and loved himself more. Before, you rejected him every chance you got, and now that he's leaving, you want to hold him back. Don't you think he's suffered enough from your rejections and deserves to be happy?"
"Sure, but not next to Cedric."
"Not next to you either." Carlo relaxed his eyebrows and sat up as he watched Luka stand up. "Stop being selfish and accept what you've always wanted. He's already crawled a lot for you, let him go."
Luka turned on his heel, leaving his brother completely lost in thought. Maybe Luka was a little right about some things, but Carlo was determined not to let Adrien get away so easily. While he could acknowledge that his feelings were selfish in a way, he couldn't help but want to keep Adrien by his side, at least for a little while longer.
He got up from his chair and walked to the window, gazing out at the nightscape that stretched out before him. The city lights flickered in the darkness, creating a serene and contemplative atmosphere. Carlo sighed deeply, trying to find clarity amid the emotional turmoil that was washing over him.
He couldn't deny that the idea of letting Adrien go was painful. They had shared so many moments together, they had built a deep connection over time (even if he hadn't realized it until that moment), and now, facing the idea of separating was like losing a part of himself. But there was also the selfish aspect of wanting to keep Adrien by his side, of not wanting to accept that maybe it was time to let him go so he could find his own happiness, even if it meant it was without him.
Carlo sat back down in his chair, his gaze lost in the coffee that was already almost cold. He felt caught between the desire to keep clinging to Adrien and the knowledge that maybe it was time to let go. It was an internal battle that consumed him, leaving him not knowing which way to turn.
In the end, he decided that he couldn't make a hasty decision. He needed time to reflect, to understand his own feelings and motivations. Maybe talking to Adrien would be the first step, although he knew it wouldn't be an easy conversation.
With that determination in mind, Carlo put away his coffee cup and headed for his room. He knew it would be a long night full of thoughts, but he was determined to face his emotions and find the best way to move forward, whatever the outcome.
…----------------…
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