episode 5

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Dr. Mallory. Medication. Rent. All the reasons that meant that I never had

more than a loaf of bread and a packet of pasta in my cupboard and powdered

milk in my fridge because it works out cheaper than the real thing.

Evan and I used to cook all sorts of fancy meals with each other, back when

we had money and a life. I liked making the food, and he liked eating it while

I was still preparing the meal. My sister, Dahlia, used to call us a power

couple.

“What about my needs, Lili?” He shakes his head. “Didn’t you think about

me before you went to see her? I told you that money is tight, and you go

waste it on a shrink that clearly isn’t helping very much.”“I thought—” I shut my mouth before I dig my grave deeper.

I was at the grocery store when I thought the Faceless Man was standing

behind me, pulling my hair off my shoulder to breathe in my scent. I felt the

tenor of his breath on my neck as he whispered, “You smell divine, my

midnight storm.”

His chest was against my back, but I was frozen with the thought that it was

finally time to face my demon. When I finally gathered the courage to turn,

the only other person down the aisle was an old woman peering at her

shopping list. Except out of the corner of my eyes, I swore I saw Dahlia

bloodied and bruised. Just like that, the Faceless Man was less frightening.

Maybe she’s telling me that it’s time to face my fears and visit her and my

parents at Millyard Cemetery. But I can’t bring myself to do it. Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

I could tell Evan exactly why I needed to see Dr. Mallory, but he’d call me

crazy. Like he always does. The two times I showed him the charcoal marks

on my body, he called me “fucked in the head”. Then he muttered something

along the lines of me being the problem, not the medication.

Just say the five words. I’m. Breaking. Up. With. You.

“You’re so selfish sometimes, Lili. How many times do I need to remind you

that you aren’t the only one who has needs,” Evan scolds. I look away from

him as tears burn my eyes and threaten to fall. But I know they won’t fall,

they never do.

Evan has done so much for me already; he stuck around and made sure that I

didn’t drown myself after I lost Dahlia in the accident. Well at least, when I

did drown, that death didn’t take me. So maybe I didn’t really owe him

anything.

Evan latches onto my arm and turns me to face him. “Don’t you turn awayfrom me when I’m speaking to you.”

His fingers dig into my skin hard enough to leave a bruise. “You’re hurting

me,” I gasp as I yank myself out of his grasp.

His eyes widen, and I take a step back as he reaches for me once more,

circling his fingers around the same tender place. He pulls me to his chest,

flattening his hand down my back and peppering half-hearted kisses to the

top of my head. “I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to. You know how I get in the

morning when I haven’t had my hit.”

Three slow, ominous knocks shake the walls of my small apartment and we

both tense.

“What was that?” Evan pulls away. “Did you hear that?” He moves to the

front door and checks outside. No one will be there. Because he is outside,

standing on the sidewalk, looking straight at me.

The Faceless Man.

Sometimes he wears a hoodie, sometimes he wears a cloak, sometimes he

wears a cashmere coat. Every time, his hood is drawn over his head,

shrouding his face in shadows. Even though I can’t see his eyes, I know that

he can see my soul. I’m waiting for the day that he takes it.

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