My heart it was hurting badly but I again unknown with that feeling whereas my health started to go worse. Having him, only him, in the mind. A ray of light in my dark world yet my darkness consume him too. My heart was crying bitterly, but eyes didn't have a single tear. I hate that, I really hate myself for that, I only depose him with my bad luck. I only let him down, I shouldn't have approached him.
But not any more I decided to stay away from him, I won't see him anymore and here I thought that's end of our unnamed friendship.
I was not wrong, yet I had to face those disgusting comments, eyes and insults, yet he was only in my messed mind. I started to avoid seeing in his eyes, with the unknown guilt I had I wrote an apology letter, that was the first time I wrote a letter for someone in that I wrote everything but as a friend and asked for his forgiveness, and let our common friend hand over that letter to him, he replied and sent back the letter in which the reply was something unexpected that was only in three lines" why you are sorry and for what, it was my fault and your face without smile look like moon without its shine." and I actually started to smile like a fool and I again experienced known emotions I used to have. when I saw him talking with other girls I hate it, when I saw his hand hurt, I felt hurt and my eyes got teary that's also where I first time held his hand and he was just smiling, I think about that hardly but couldn't able to understand even a little bit.
Why I behave like that? Didn't I say I would never see his eyes then why? I won't talk to him then why? What's all these feelings? Am I really possessive for him? If yes, then why? He doesn't even belong to me.
That's not like me at all, I hate this, I hate myself why I am getting affected That much because of him, we are not even friends then why? Things never goes as we wished, and our strings got entangled like that everything between us changed after another incident between us.
A special day came in our lives,
He came there by bunking his own lecture and the time we spent together was one of the best day in my life ♥.
They just printed in my heart and mind which were completely chaos but from that I got little hope maybe he also felt same at least a little bit but that last hope I had got shattered in just a second after saw him talking sweetly with the girl who was his crush , than I realized he could never be mine and after what I saw I was jealous.
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