Dear Diary,

Hello , My name is Angela and I'm 15 years old.I am from Philippines and i have made this novel to share my story.

If You're sensitive to strong language,sexual abuse,verbal abuse, physical abuse then it's best if you would leave,Now..

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All my Life I've never felt the love of a man.

I don't know exactly where and what happened to my Mother and my Father.

Mother hates me so much,She always bluffs about how I'm no different to my Father.

i just know that my Father cheated on my Mother right when i was born.right there i still remember my mother choking me and i almost died.

If only i died at that time then maybe i wouldn't have to suffer for more.

I was my Mother's first Child,and i thought to myself,maybe it is right for me to suffer.First child are tough,right?

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My Mother was so digusted with me,she left me on my aunt promising that she will be back ,but i know to myself that she just hates the fact that i ever existed.

My aunt and uncle lives here,crappy,messy and old house ,my neighbors were very loud. And then I met my uncle ,I was so happy.He was like a Father to me,He was so sweet,or so i thought..

I still remember having to eat my favorite canned food "porkbeans" it was the first canned food i ever tasted and it was delicious.

My uncle then gets a little weirder i don't know exactly what happened but i still remember that he always wants me to sleep, i always awoke from sleep on lying face down and my uncle was on top of it, I don't know but i just felt something inserts that it hurts so much.

At that time i don't feel any feelings it's just,a thing that I can't explain. It happens everytime and as a little 4years old girl thought it was a fcking game.

I was foolish.

My uncle told me in a happy tone that if i ever tell anyone what happened in this house then he would be gone for worse.

As a little girl who knows nothing but craves for a loving Father then nodded its head and didn't tell anyone.My aunt always left the house,How could she even know?

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2 years have passed..

Eating on the dining table with my Mother,Aunt and Others.I never heard from my Uncle anymore.

I grew up a courage to tell my Mother about it,as she said "a slap. You want?".

I was devastated,how could she?! As my Mother how could she treat me no difference to a Garbage?!

7 years old, My Mother bought me on our province,Siquijor. once again I'm with my Aunt. She now has a child and a Fling.

Her fling was not a threat,it was different this time but we're not close, whenever he goes close to me i always avoid him.I don't know why.

It was full of nature there,Big wooded house. and a frontyard full of flowers,trees,and green grass.it was heaven...

Time passed..My aunt was treating me like a fcking slave whenever i get to home after school, she always makes me clean her kid's poop and wash the dishes,Wow now I'm a fcking Cinderella.

I never got contact about my Mother,My school was very far from my home i have to walk everyday ,it takes almost 2 hours to get to home.the path was slippery and it has lots of disgusting things,i always get home at night time. I always shivers whenever i came across to our neighbor's silent house.

My Aunt was very mean to me.

I've suffered numerous pain.

hunger,numbness,loss of self-esteem

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At school, It was First year of it there ,Grade 3.as a transferie from manila which is the city of Philippines.I gained their attention,they we're all on my foot.

Days goes by, Jea.Our Honor and smart girl in class hold grudges on me all of a sudden.

In the school of province,They only care if your rich or smart.

Jea was smart.

Highest Honor.

Days passed by she began ordering us around though most may not seem to believe it but i must say she's a fucking devik in disguise.she doesn't deserve all of it.

Mitch,My first Bestfriend.she was everything to me i grew fond of her.not until she began siding with jea..

I couldn't blame her though,we all know that to survive in this hellish school we have to serve those who's top.

And that's exactly what i did.i began sucking into her,giving her my recess biscuits.fighting against others for her trust.

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