Catherine Howland:
I swallow the saliva that's pooled in my mouth, stepping back as I watch him close the door behind him on his way out, leaving us alone in the hallway.
"My friends are in there," I point out.
"That's why we're talking in the hallway instead of the apartment."
"Are you upset?" I know he is, yet I ask anyway.
"No."
Liar.
He also lied about Amy.
"Can I use your phone?" This place was closer than our homes. So, I thought of coming here to borrow your phone and call Fanny's dad.
"I can give them a ride," he offers.
"No, that's not necessary."
"I will, dolly."
My heart quivers, beating hard inside my chest, threatening to break free.
"Alright, thanks," I accept.
There's no reason to argue if he wants to do it. He'll just take us home, and the torture of seeing him will end.
"Stay awake; I want to talk to you when I get back," he warns.
"Aren't you going to take me home with Fanny?"
"You're staying here tonight." That's all he says before he goes back into the apartment.
Less than a minute passes when Fanny and Matt leave and say goodbye, accompanied by Landon.
I stay in the hallway, the apartment door left open for me.
I swore never to touch that place again when I smelled Amy's perfume lingering in the air.
An hour later, I'm still in the hallway, sitting on the floor with my back against the wall next to the partly open door.
Then I hear footsteps approaching. I don't need to look up to know it's my brother.
I stand when I feel him right in front of me.
"Why are you still out here?" He sounds annoyed, but who knows, I've never been good at deciphering others' emotions.
"I won't go in."
"Explain."
"I just don't want to go in, Lan."
"You've been ignoring my texts, my calls, even avoiding me when I come to your house to see you. Now, you won't even enter the apartment. Why? Tell me because I don't understand." He runs his hand through his hair, sweeping it back in the process. "Is it because of Amy? If it's her, I have to say she hasn’t been back since."
"You're lying," I accuse in a whisper, my voice failing as my heart hurts and bleeds from his lies. "You're hurting me, Lan. It's not supposed to be you."
"Let's talk inside." He tries to reach for my hand, but I step away in time, putting more distance between us.
"I saw you with her." Flames sear my heart with erratic beats calling for a rest, a break from the pain.
"I know you did." He moves a step closer to me, but I retreat another. "I saw your keys, why did you leave them? They belong to you, dolly."
I shake my head. "Don't call me that. Don't keep saying that nickname."
I don't want to hear it because it confuses my heart, that foolish heart that fails to learn its lesson.
"I didn't lie when I said I'd break it off with her. I did it the very afternoon I spoke to you. You want to know why?" He doesn’t wait for me to answer before continuing. "Because you've always been the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind before I sleep. Your happiness has always been my priority."
"She was sleeping on top of you." I hate to remember that scene, but it keeps replaying in my head. "She was wearing just underwear, Landon. You can't tell me things ended between you two when I saw you both curled up together on the couch."
"You were ignoring me; I missed our time together. I'd been drinking the night before and the next morning, Amy showed up at the apartment. And no, it wasn't what it looked like."
"I didn't sleep with her. Amy comes from a very religious family that believes in a woman's purity, insisting she remains a virgin until marriage."
"Amy is a virgin?" I ask incredulously.
"She is unless she's been lying to me for years, which I find unlikely."
"But she was wearing lingerie..."
"It’s for foreplay with me without going all the way," he says uncomfortably. "Her attempt to seduce me into getting back with her, but I was too drunk that day to care about her presence. So, I fell asleep on the couch, and she thought it was a good idea to wait for me to wake up, and eventually, she fell asleep on top of me."
It sounds all too convenient, but I know he's being honest.
He's not lying, he has no reason to—because he owes me no explanations.
"I..." My cheeks burn, so I bring my hands to my face to hide the crimson.
My body shivers when I feel his hands encircling my wrists, drawing mine away from my face.
"It's been two months, dolly. Stop hiding from me."
"I'm sorry." My heart spasms as our eyes lock.
An electric current runs through me from head to toe, lingering in my chest as I lose myself in the liquid brown reminiscent of hot chocolate.
"Your eyes are my favorite thing to see."
Landon falls silent at my comment, his body nearly frozen, as if searching for the answers to the universe in his head.
"You're my favorite thing to see," he says after dropping his gaze to my lips and taking a few seconds to return to my eyes.
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