Episode 6

Catherine Howland:

I misjudged Amy.

She told mom that she saw me leaving in some boy's car when my parents were out and supposedly I was ill at home.

Dad and mom were livid with me, so much so that they ramped up the punishment; now mom drives me to school and picks me up to take me back home.

They both planned on taking me to a gynecologist to find out if I had lost my virginity because of the supposed bad influence that Amy mentioned. Thankfully, Landon stepped in and wouldn't allow it.

My brother chose to believe me when I tried to explain what really happened, but neither dad nor mom would listen to my side.

They only realized the truth when they talked to Fanny's parents the next day, who corroborated the story I was telling. And even then, my parents said they were disappointed in me.

They didn't even apologize for calling me names or for hitting me that night when I returned home, straight after celebrating my birthday.

Amy didn't apologize either for causing the misunderstanding, which led to a fallout between her and my brother.

Now, I'm not just miserable because of my parents' treatment, but I also feel guilty for the rift I've caused between Amy and Landon.

Lan: Everything good at home?

I see my brother's message, it's the first time he's reached out to me since a week ago on my birthday night, when he defended me from our parents and then the following day argued with Amy when she refused to apologize to me.

Me: So much better than last week.

Lan: You still grounded?

Me: It's not a real punishment if they keep letting me use my phone and the internet.

Lan: But they don't let you go out.

Me: I like being at home. ♡

Lan: You like being with your friend.

Of course I do, but at least I can see her in classes and during break time when I'm at school.

Me: Can I ask about you and Amy?

He takes a minute to reply.

Lan: No.

Me: You can't fight with her! She just got confused, it could happen to anyone.

Lan: She says you're lying.

Me: Excuse me?

Lan: Amy insists you're lying, that your friend's family is covering for you because you're this guy's girlfriend. Says you refused the gynecologist because you've been sleeping with him.

Me: Impossible!

Lan: But it doesn't matter, Cath. It's your life.

Me: What?

Lan: At your age, it's natural to be curious about these things. Whether or not it's true, it's your life, your body, your damn choice.

Me: Are you upset?

Lan: No.

Me: You only swear when you are.

He doesn't reply, so I send another message.

Me: Did I do something wrong?

Lan: No. Of course not.

Me: I didn't do it anyhow.

Lan: Didn't do what?

Me: I haven't slept with Matt. I haven't even had my first kiss yet, Lan. God, I still write in my journal, so no, the very idea of getting physical with another guy scares me.

Lan: It scares you.

It's not really an answer, but I decide to respond regardless.

Me: Yes.

Me: I'm not ready.

Me: Maybe I'll change my mind in two or three years, but for now, I'm not interested. Does that make me childish?

Lan: You don't need to rush anything if you're not ready, dolly. You're not missing out on much, boys your age are just hormonal idiots.

I wonder what he would say if I told him that the boys in my class don't interest me, but a 24-year-old man does, someone like him, someone like my brother, or rather, Landon specifically.

Me: Thanks for believing in me :)

Me: Talk to Amy. Everyone has the right to make mistakes.

Me: Good luck with your finals, I'm sure you'll make a great lawyer, and eventually, an excellent prosecutor.

Me: Got to go, I have to finish an algebra assignment. Sweet dreams, Lan. ♡

I wait for his reply as usual, but it surprises me when my phone starts ringing with his call.

—"Brother?"— I'm whispering, I don't want mom to hear and decide to take my phone away for using it outside my study hours.

—"Say it again."—His voice comes through the phone gruffly, feeling so close, like he's right here with me, whispering in my ear.

—"Sweet dreams?"

—"Say it with my name."

—"Sweet dreams, Landon."—I speak softly, feeling a tingle on my lips as his name passes through them.

—"Have a good night, dolly."

After this he'll hang up, I know because that's what we usually do when we exchange messages. So before he can end the call I tell him one last thing, something that's harmless and innocent because I'm his sister, but that carries a much deeper meaning in my heart.

—"Love you, brother."

I hear him chuckle in pleasure.—"Love you too, little one."

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