Episode 4

Catherine Howland:

[Age 15]

Dear diary, today is my fifteenth birthday and I am locked in my room.

Mother won't let me out.

Before they went to work, both she and dad left the bedroom door locked.

They told Landon I was ill, my brother insisted on seeing me regardless, but they assured him it wasn't serious, just a flu that he could catch.

Landon is in his final year of college amidst exam season.

He can't afford to get sick and fail.

Yet, my foolish heart still hopes to see him.

It doesn't even matter that I'm missing the book signing by my favorite author.

All I want is to see him, even if it's just for a minute, or merely a few fleeting seconds. We don't even need to be in the same room; just spotting him through my bedroom window would suffice.

Fanny has been bombarding my phone with messages since this morning.

My friend knows I'm grounded, though I didn't tell her the real reason behind it or she'd go mad. ♡

She's quite hot-headed.

She would never let Mom treat me like this, but knowing her, she would do something too rash and regardless, Mom is still Mom.

I love my mom.

She is my mother.

Can you not love your parents?

They are still my parents and a part of me will always yearn for their affection, even if they are a bit chilly toward me.

Catherine.♡

I close the diary after signing my name at the bottom of the page. I'm considering giving up keeping a diary out of fear that Mom might find it, so once I'm out of punishment, I'll throw it away, far from here.

I can't risk someone picking it up and reading its contents.

I stash the diary beneath a loose floorboard, something my parents haven't noticed because they seldom come to my room, or perhaps they just don't care much about what's in there.

Then I return to bed, lying on top of the covers and staring at the ceiling.

My stomach rumbles again as it has been doing for the past hour, reminding me that I haven't eaten since dinner last night, but even if I weren't locked in, I wouldn't feel like eating.

I turn my face to the wall clock; it's already seven in the evening.

The book signing ended two hours ago.

The pain hits again, but I've cried too much and I don't think I have any tears left to shed.

But then I hear a knock on my window from outside.

I go to it thinking it might be a bird or a squirrel – they've come by before because I leave them food when Mom is not looking.

When I draw the curtain aside, I almost have a heart attack at seeing Fanny's older brother.

I immediately open the window.

"Matt? What are you doing here?" I look down to see Fanny standing next to the tree.

"She said she'd climb up if I didn't."

I look back at Matt.

"That sounds like something she would say." I shake my head, still a bit stunned.

"We knocked on the door, but there was no answer. Fanny thought something had happened to you."

"Sorry, I didn't hear the doorbell." And even if I had, I wouldn't have been able to go down since I'm locked in my room – of course, I don't tell him this.

"They said you were sick, but you look perfectly fine to me." His green eyes notice the scratch on my cheek.

"It was a cat."

"I didn't ask." He cuts me off. "Anyway, open the door. Fanny's been worried about you."

"You climbed the tree?" It looks like a difficult feat from where he is.

"It was that or break a window."

"Falling from a tree could result in a couple of broken bones, I think the window option was extreme but safer."

"That's what I told him!" shouts Fanny.

I smile at my friend.

I'm glad I have the chance to see her today.

"Anyway, open the door," he gestures.

"Wait, I can't do that." I hesitate before continuing, but I can't come up with a plausible lie to justify being locked in my room, so honesty is my only choice. "I'm grounded and can't leave my room."

"Define 'can't.'"

"I'm locked in, I can't get out even if I wanted to disobey my parents."

"Your parents are messed up." He laughs.

I think Fanny is right in calling her brother an idiot.

"I'm insulted." I make a face.

Matt looks down at his sister. "Her parents have locked her in; she can't get out."

"Get her out through the window," Fanny replies.

"I can't carry her down at the same time."

"God, of course you can." My friend crosses her arms. "She's tiny, like a doll. You won't even notice her weight."

Matt turns to me. "I'm going to get you out, just make sure to hold on tight to me."

I shake my head quickly, rejecting the idea, but he pulls me out of the window anyhow and has me wrap my arms around his neck, clinging to his back like a little koala.

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