Heavy night and drowning

Outside the Bar – A Heavy Night

They left the bar hours later.

Kenji was less drunk than expected—he had slowed down after Alexier’s words—but he still walked a little unsteady.

Alexier kept pace beside him, hands in his pockets.

The city was quiet now. Neon lights flickered in the distance, and the cool night air felt almost too calm after what had happened inside.

Alexier broke the silence. "You never answered me earlier."

Kenji didn’t react.

Alexier pressed on. "That guy. Who is he really?"

Kenji stopped walking.

The shadows made it hard to see his expression.

Then, without looking at Alexier, he said, "A reminder."

"Of what?"

Kenji’s fingers twitched. His voice was almost unreadable when he answered.

"That the past never stays buried."

Alexier felt a chill run through him.

Kenji turned slightly, glancing at him with a smirk that didn’t reach his eyes. "Don’t look so tense, kid. It’s nothing you need to worry about."

Alexier didn’t believe him for a second.

But for now, he let it go.

Because something told him this wasn’t over.

Not by a long shot.

Episode X+3: When Ghosts Come Knocking

The walk back to Kenji’s condo was silent.

Kenji wasn’t staggering, but Alexier could tell he was holding something in. The way he rolled his shoulders, the occasional clench of his jaw—he was uneasy.

And that made Alexier uneasy too.

Kenji wasn’t the type to act serious unless something really bothered him.

Finally, as they reached the front of the building, Alexier spoke. "Are you going to tell me the truth or keep bullshitting me?"

Kenji let out a low chuckle. "Since when did you start talking like me?"

Alexier wasn’t in the mood. "I’m serious. That guy in the bar—he knew you. And you knew him."

Kenji’s smirk flickered.

For a second, Alexier saw hesitation.

But just as fast, it was gone.

Kenji shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped into the elevator. "Not tonight, kid."

Alexier followed him in. "Then when?"

Kenji leaned against the wall, staring at the ceiling. "When I feel like it."

Alexier scoffed. "So, never?"

Kenji looked at him then, and for the first time that night, there was something raw in his gaze.

It wasn’t anger.

It wasn’t amusement.

It was something deeper.

Something Alexier didn’t recognize.

The elevator doors opened. Kenji stepped out first. "Let it go for now, Alex."

Alexier didn’t want to let it go.

But he did.

For now.

The walk back to Kenji’s condo was silent.

Kenji wasn’t staggering, but Alexier could tell he was holding something in. The way he rolled his shoulders, the occasional clench of his jaw—he was uneasy

Inside the Condo – A Cold Night

Alexier sat on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

Kenji had disappeared into his room, claiming he was going to sleep.

But Alexier knew better.

He wasn’t asleep.

He was thinking.

And whatever he was thinking about, it wasn’t good.

Alexier ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

Kenji had been acting strange since the bar.

The way he had reacted to that man—like a dog suddenly sensing a predator—wasn’t normal.

And then there was that look.

That moment in the elevator.

Alexier had seen Kenji joke, tease, get pissed off—he had even seen him get serious.

But he had never seen him look… vulnerable.

Not like that.

Alexier exhaled sharply.

He wasn’t used to this.

Caring.

He had spent so long being alone after the massacre. Grief had hardened him, shaped him into someone who didn’t rely on anyone.

But now?

Kenji was his only link to something real.

And even though he was a sarcastic pain in the ass—

Alexier didn’t want to lose him.

Especially not to something from his past.

Alexier sat up.

Screw waiting.

If Kenji wasn’t going to talk—

Then he would figure it out himself.

Shadows

Kenji didn’t know why he drank so much.

He had been through hell before. Nights with no sleep, weeks running from the past, years clawing his way to where he was now.

But tonight—

Tonight, the past felt closer.

The moment that man grinned at him in the bar, everything cracked.

Kenji’s body moved on instinct. He barely noticed himself staggering into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. His breath came ragged, heavy, the alcohol in his system making everything feel warped.

His fingers fumbled with the faucet, turning on the shower without stripping off his clothes. Cold water crashed down over him.

Kenji exhaled sharply.

It wasn’t enough.

His skin still burned with ghosts of hands that had long since vanished.

The alcohol wasn’t numbing it.

The water wasn’t washing it away.

Nothing was.

Kenji pressed his forehead against the tiles, his soaked hair clinging to his face. The past was still here.

He was still that boy.

Still that cornered child, beaten, stripped of dignity, left to rot.

No matter how much strength he had built—how many battles he had won—

That boy never left.

Kenji let out a ragged laugh, half a sob, half a growl of frustration.

How pathetic.

Even now, after all these years, he still found himself here.

Trapped.

He clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms.

The worst part?

The worst part was Alexier saw it.

Saw that moment of weakness in the elevator. Saw the hesitation, the fear.

Kenji hated it.

Hated that the past could still reach him.

Hated that Alex might get too close.

Hated that if Alex ever found out the truth—

He wouldn’t look at him the same way again.

The thought made Kenji feel sick.

He leaned back against the cold wall, his breath slowing, the haze of alcohol dulling his thoughts.

For tonight…

For tonight, he would let himself drown.

Just this once.

And then—

Tomorrow, he’d wake up, put on his usual smirk, and pretend like nothing ever happened.

Because that was the only way to survive.

---isode X+5: Drowning Doesn’t Always Mean Water

Kenji didn’t notice when he fell asleep.

The cold water had kept him awake at first, his mind spiraling into dark places he didn’t want to go.

But at some point, the exhaustion, the alcohol, and the weight of his past dragged him under.

His body slumped against the cold tiles, his breath shallow. His soaked clothes clung to his skin, the freezing temperature sinking deep into his bones.

Kenji wasn’t dreaming.

Or maybe he was.

The past had a way of feeling real, even when it wasn’t.

The suffocating grip of hands.

The laughter of men who saw him as nothing more than a toy.

The pain. The humiliation. The silent screams.

Even now, after all these years—

It still felt the same.

It still felt like he was drowning.

---

Outside the Bathroom – Alexier’s POV

Alexier had enough.

It had been too long.

The water was still running. No sound of movement. No sarcastic remarks. Nothing.

Kenji wasn’t answering.

Something was wrong.

Alexier’s body moved before he could think.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Kenji! Open the door!”

No answer.

Alexier’s chest tightened.

He’s not… No. No, he’s fine. He has to be.

Without hesitating, Alexier stepped back—then slammed his shoulder against the door.

CRACK.

The door burst open, and a wave of cold steam hit him.

Alexier’s eyes widened.

Kenji was slumped in the shower, water still pouring over him. His skin was pale, his body unmoving.

Shit.

Alexier rushed forward, grabbing Kenji’s shoulders.

“Kenji! Wake up, dammit!”

Nothing.

His skin was like ice.

Panic shot through Alexier. He reached for the faucet, twisting it off before shaking Kenji roughly.

“Kenji! Don’t screw with me right now!”

Still nothing.

Alexier’s breath quickened.

He had never seen Kenji like this. Vulnerable. Weak.

Kenji was always the one with the smirks, the teasing remarks, the sharp tongue that pissed him off.

He wasn’t supposed to look like this.

He wasn’t supposed to be—

“Haah…” A ragged breath escaped Kenji’s lips. His body trembled slightly, his eyelashes fluttering.

Alexier let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Idiot,” Alexier muttered under his breath. Relief flooded through him, but it was quickly replaced by anger.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he growled. “You could’ve—”

Kenji coughed weakly, his voice hoarse. “…Damn. Did you just break my door?”

Alexier clenched his jaw. “Like I care about your damn door.”

Kenji slowly opened his eyes, a faint, tired smirk tugging at his lips. “Aw… you were worried about me. Cute.”

“Shut up.”

Alexier pulled Kenji up, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and dragging him out of the shower.

Kenji was dead weight, his body still too cold.

“You’re heavier than you look,” Alexier muttered.

Kenji chuckled weakly. “That’s because you’re a twig.”

Alexier gritted his teeth.

He wanted to punch Kenji for scaring him like that.

But more than that…

More than that, he wanted to know why.

Why did Kenji let himself get like this?

Why did he drink himself into oblivion?

Why did he lock himself in the bathroom like he was trying to disappear?

Alexier wasn’t stupid.

Kenji was running from something.

And Alexier wasn’t going to let him run forever.

Not when he was the only person Alexier had left.

Not when—

Kenji was the only person keeping him alive.

---

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