Fluster

My mouth dropped open when I saw him. I had never seen him up so close before, his strikingly threatening eyes were silver in colour which matched in colour of hair I was starting to wonder if he dyed it, which would be crazy since I know a lot of people who wouldn’t even appreciate a single grey hair to see daylight without meeting its end! unless of course they were Japanese anime and manga lovers who even has the option of choosing from all rainbow colours , rimmed with hazel-brown, a mixture I couldn’t have imagined would go so well to create a breathtaking spectacle of eyes, anyone could get lost in them, his stormy gaze, like a swirling storm appeared to be getting darker, contrary to his facial expression which was unreadable, was a failure in his disguise, exposing his anger and frustration, probably at me and I could feel how much he would have wanted to scold me!

“Stephon?” my voice went up in an octave to my surprise, I actually intended for it to sound more casual, I mean it’s not like he wasn’t coming back or I wasn’t expecting him back and I for one am not stupid enough to flee in the middle of nowhere! Though I kept my mouth shut and chose not to tell him that. So what if I couldn’t respect his request, I don’t remember agreeing to such a ridiculous promise in the first place!. But to be honest there are times I wish I could just flee, then again who am I kidding, I couldn’t even trust my own nerves that were so unwittingly messed up at this point and...

“going somewhere Tara?” he interrupted my random babbling thoughts. His face was unreadable when he spoke in his usual alluring imperious yet calm and sensual manner. His voice was calm and firm also curious and demanding at the same time. It’s a wonder how someone could pull all four in one tone. His expression suddenly looked fazed and I thought I saw his brow furrowed, not quite far from the reaction I expected. It took me a moment to realize I was staring blankly at him. stupid! Stupid!

My brain immediately got out of its reverie state and it registered I was asked a question. What was it again? Oh!

“Uh--- uh- nowhere…” I answered nervously, not knowing why and was almost lost for words trying to figure out what to say next, maybe his presence there and then made him appear so domineering, looking so devilish handsome as ever. Not that I blamed him. It was an aura he always carried since we met that admit most times gave me chills. “Um-I just needed to get some fresh air that all…” I finally blurted out defensively, not that it was necessary, just his tone of voice earlier hinted the need to.

“I had to live earlier.” he spoke unapologetically. “it was sudden” he added.

Jeez, it seems a simple apology was never on this guy’s agenda, not that he owes me one, but courtesy demands it according to me besides literally speaking we are sort of acquaintances.

I still wondered what he had to do that what so important, whatever it was it was important I know, I don’t assume he had a family emergency like to babysit his nephew or something like that, he was more of a mafia- done business kind or hitman, whatever it was, I can’t afford to end up on a death row. Playing smart was always my lucky charm, but out here I am just a clueless bunny!

“Oh. Um. Okay. Was. It. Serious?” I asked curiously, trying to keep a conversation and not to look so awkward. before I realized oh no! I was speaking to him in monotones! Why do I keep making a fool of myself? Good thing he brushed that one off when he made way to the diner and settled on a chair. Instinctively, I followed behind him and took a sit across from his.

He still looked just as intimidating but at least this time, approachable.

He leaned forward as if trying to whisper something and being the clumsy person I was turning out to be, I jerked abruptly. It was like I was determined to make a fool of myself and forgot I was a strong- willed woman.

I quickly regained my composure. Staring at Stephon, I could he was troubled which his emotionless face didn’t do much to hide. I waited silently as he spoke.

“look, things are getting more complicated than we anticipated.” he said frankly, clearly making an effort to be brisk.

“We?” I repeated in a low tone that was audible only enough for him to hear as that was the word to me that spelt concern. Was he referring to we- us or we- himself and someone else.

“we- meaning the council and I”.

I was lost for words. There’s a council behind all this? An actual council? How many people exactly are involved in this a how do I fit in? these questions kept lingering in my mind.

It was long when a waiter walked towards us asking to take our order.

I was still in my reverie when I was almost certain that Stephon called out my name and a quickly turned to face him wide- eyed, oblivious of the man standing at my side that kept saying something I couldn’t quite comprehend. Stephon said something to him and bid him away with his hand. Then I noticed he leaned back on his sit, probably giving me the space I needed to take in what he had said as if it were that easy. It was then I saw it, a confirmation of what I seen earlier which his silver- hazel eyes evidently failed to hide well. He was so observant and alarmingly alert, which he usually was, but this time it was different. What I saw got me really agitated. What he wrote ‘danger is lurking around the corner’ in the letter…could it mean…his sudden disappearance…could it mean—oh no! his present behaviour only elevated my suspicion that the danger is already here?!

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Stephon said clearly then that we were to leave at dawn the next morning which is today. Then his sudden disappearance. Something just doesn’t add up…

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

His posture was straight but he kept moving his eyes sideways. He seemed unsettled, that he made me quite uneasy myself, his behaviour was that of suspicious- of something or someone though he maintained the facade of the confident and domineering aura that always surrounded him. My gut-feeling told me something was definitely wrong but before I could process what was going on or what I believed was going on-

“Get down!” Stephon had tugged on my arm and down the table, suddenly and without warning, I heard a blast, it was not the type a grenade or cannon made, it had a different effect- low but deafening, very intense and the effect was almost lasting. I felt like my ears were split in twos and its auditory ossicles were divided into a million pieces and my eardrums were throbbing in confusion, unable to recognize the vibrations from the tumultuous sound of the blast.

I quickly planted both my palms on my ears holding unto them while I fluttered shut my eyes.

Then… “Stay down!” was the next I heard in a fading echo. I dared not move.

I could hear rattling noises faintly- clashing of metals, yelling and roaring and more blasting, though not as intense as the first was.

I was shaking in shock, still covering my ears, and making a silent prayer- “dear God, I don’t want to die here, please don’t let me die!” it was probably the worse prayer request I could come up with, but for one that could be your last, that would have to do. When I saw myself being pulled up and away from the table, past the chaos that was brewing in the inn, painted it red with blood. My eyes were open but I still couldn’t see clearly what was happening, I was in a flustered state. Stephon was moving really fast with his grip cuffed to my wrist trailing me near behind his heightened self, everything was sudden and quick. He made a halt without warning and I about to attest, though I knew I hadn’t got the energy for it. I let out a weak huff and lazily followed the direction Stephon had his eyes trained on and –

“Oh my God-” a phrase that has become part of my most used vocabulary since I got here “what is that thing?” I said shrilly, more of in shock, that the sound of my own voice sent chills down to my spine.

I was face to face with something big, no- huge, king- Kong sized if ever the movies weren’t so exaggerated, a creature of description only a fantasy would allow. What I was standing in front of was something unusual, worthy of being called a Beast!

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Within the limited time I had, I stood there accessing this strange but intriguing creature.

It had the appearance somewhat of an enormous bird, could be the size of a jet! With a large thick, pointy curved beak. Long thick and sharp hooked claws and things like that never escapes my observant eyes, whose would it? And It had piercing eyes of fire, a pair that can feast on your fears with menacing glare. To describe it as terrifying is nearly an understatement. Just then, it spread its very large wingspan and I could see feathers tinted in gold and black that spread across from one end to the other. It was as if it read my accessing mind and was showing off more of its splendor yet intimidating assets in approval or warning.

“could this be real?” I mumbled, speaking more to myself. In a way I was trying to convince myself of what my eyes were trying to make me believe and that it wasn’t an outcome of me being delusional.

I was still recovering from my dazed state True, I could see clear as day but I needed to be sure I was seeing the truth and not my mind playing tricks on me.

when I saw Stephon reach to a girl, in the hit of the moment, I hadn’t realized she was there before. He said something to her, I couldn’t hear what he had told her not that I was interested to know.

He gave me one last look, a message in his stare- hinting me to leave with her before he left- more like vanished, I looked away for only a few seconds and when I looked back, he was gone, simply gone.

She (the girl) mounted the beast with ease, looked like she was familiar with it. She gave me her hand and I took it unquestioningly but with a little hesitation and I was lifted up, landing on an oversized looked-like saddle that rested on its back.

The roar from the chaos was getting louder as the repugnant party whoever they were was approaching us.

She quickly whispered something to it (the beast) and it made a loud thunderous growl and started moving fast, then gradually, it took off in the air. Oh my God! I couldn’t believe it; we were flying?!

The movement from the gliding made me snap back to my senses and I looked back.

It was then I saw it- something I never believed was real… “Magic?” my eyes widened in disbelief. Behind those clattering swords and physical combat, there was magic?! Does that explain the blast from earlier? Could it explain why I’m here?

Tara am many things but a celebrity isn’t one of them. I had the urge to speak first, to ask her those questions I had in mind that has been bothering me but I chose to hold back on them, it looked like she had more questions to ask me than I to her.

“So, you’re Tara huh” she asked casually but excited. I guess I was right about her having more questions in mind.

“Um, yes¬-, I am.” I replied, a little surprised and a bit curious by her question, not as much as I usually would, out here, you learn to expect anything and Stephon could have told her about me, or she could belong to that same conciliate he mentioned before who seems to be more informed about trivial matters even more so than a satellite works. What if she did? I couldn’t contain my urge to ask her.

“Could you-” I began, and she interrupted

“You’re pretty, not as tall as I supposed though a lot like her, I imagine” she went on to analyze my facial features briefly making me feel like a merchandise on display and slightly uncomfortable. But still, I couldn’t rack my mind over what she said.

“Oh, you were sayin-” she began casually, as if she didn’t just put me to high jump.

“What do you mean ‘like her’?” I interrupted her gutturally. “who are you referring to?” I elaborated making emphasis on the ‘who’ word.

She jolted as if what I said was out of the ordinary.

“He Hasn’t… To-ld you” she asked softly with an edge of surprise in her tone, more to herself than to me. It was as if it just dawned on her and she was worried what my reaction would be by her revelation.

“Told me what?” I heard my voice go up in an octave, not minding my attempt to keep it civil. I tried to keep calm but I was getting frustrated by the minute, the feeling of uncertainty clouding my reasoning and her blatant revelation not helping my case.

“Oh… I see” she spoke melancholic, jutting her lip to a pout, which clearly showed her remorse by my situation, which was in a way conflicting to me since I didn’t really see how much she had to do with it.

Silence engulfed the air between us like we were in a trance but the whirl wind seemingly didn’t mind that as it made wild passes over us. Me, restraining myself from an outburst hoping she would say something, anything to clear the air for me, and as if she had read my mind-

“look!” she said, as she perked up so she was looking directly in my eyes, apparently wanting me to understand the gravity her revelation may hold.

“It is not my place to tell you this, but I’ll tell you anyway, because you will sooner or later”. I listened carefully as she went on. What is it with them and ‘it is not my place to tell you’ phrases, I’m grateful she consented to give me an answer otherwise I would have been forced to squeeze the truth out of her so help me God… if not that, I would go insane of incertitude, I was already fed up being kept in the dark. There was an uncertain pool of emotions swirled in her big brown eyes that I couldn’t quite make of, it was far from the jovial, childish giggly person I accustomed her to. The person in front of me appeared to be efficacious and direct.

“I was referring to your mother” Sihka dropped the bomb on me. My mother? I was perplexed by what she said and she saw my bemusement.

“The woman who gave birth to you” she rephrased, as if I didn’t understand what mother meant, which shouldn’t count because at that moment, my mind had gone feeble and blank, completely blank. She just sat there watching me silently.

Once my brain registered back, a million questions came to play, even the ones I refrain from asking before. What mattered the most to me at that moment was that I could finally ease myself of the burden I’ve been carrying for 20years of my life- my identity. I was never a believer of fate, but it seems destiny was pulling me closer to finding the roots of my origins.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I wanted to know more about this woman who bore me and for some reason deemed fit to abandon me, whatever it was, whoever it was I wanted to know. I had avoided this topic for far too long and now I am face to face with it, I can’t shy away from reality anymore and deny myself the right to know what I should know.

“My mother- you know her?” I asked expectantly.

I grew up in an orphanage like many other kids- away from the love a family gives. Not many people understood the pain orphans go through, for some reason or another, left in an orphanage and there many possibilities to what those reasons were. Several are able to adapt to their new life but it will never be the same as knowing who you really are, no matter how painful and bitter the truth maybe. I know that feeling and I always wondered what the story behind mine was. For 20years, I have lived my life in fear and lost. The fear of the outcome of ‘knowing the truth’ will have. Most times, I would rather choose to forget the idea of knowing a truth I might be contented with and instead choose to believe the worse – that I was abandoned! But now, it’s different, the sudden mention of ‘my mother’ had stirred up the lonely lost child that resides in me and brought back memories of the days I had to cry myself to sleep, days I would have strange dreams of my encounters in strange places, when I couldn’t bring myself to sleep with the fear of being trapped by it- the unknown. It’s not that I wasn’t strong, sometimes even the bravest of hearts fall prey to the ghost of their past.

She looked at me with doe-eyes, momentarily, as if perplexed by my question before giving her reply-

“sadly no, not personally” she said, declining her head slightly as her eyes rested on her palms, low- spirited. There was a whimper of disappointment from her tone of voice. Sihka looked like a smart girl and a part of me felt that she understood what her revelation meant to me but I didn’t want her to feel guilty of anything, I just wanted to know what she knows.

“It’s okay” I told her reassuringly.

“please. Tell me what you know about her” I added politely.

Her spirit was uplifted instantly by my request.

“Yes, of course!” she said heartily. “what about her would you like to know” she asked excitedly.

“everything you know” I replied in response, determined and she nodded in agreement.

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