Recollection of memories

As Nicko sat in his wheelchair, the weight of his father's absence weighed heavily on his shoulders. The loss had been devastating, especially since his father had passed away earlier than was considered normal, when he was just fifteen years old. Without a father to rely on, Nicko felt the weight of the world on his young shoulders. The heavy atmosphere in the room was interrupted when his mother, weak and frail, made a request. Her voice trembled with a mixture of longing and desperation as she asked Nicko to hand over the albums. She yearned for one last glimpse of the photographs that held the precious memories of their lives together. Nicko's heart sank as he realized the gravity of his mother's plea. The realization that these might be the final moments for her to relive the cherished memories they had shared struck him like a dagger to the heart. The fleeting nature of life became painfully apparent, and he struggled to contain his emotions. "Ma, please don't speak like that," Nicko implored, his voice laced with a mixture of sorrow and desperation. "Don't say such words anymore. Believe that you'll live longer than you think, okay?" He clung to a thread of hope, trying to shield his mother from the harsh reality that he himself had already come to accept.

Inwardly, Nicko knew that time was running out. He knew that his mother's health was deteriorating rapidly, and the promise of a future together was slipping away. But he couldn't bear to shatter her spirit or let her see the despair that lay heavy in his heart. As Nicko handed over the albums to his mother, he couldn't help but feel a profound sense of loss. The weight of impending grief settled heavily on his shoulders, threatening to crush his spirit. In the depths of his heart, Nicko knew that their time together was dwindling.

The reality of his mother's impending departure loomed over them, casting a shadow on their every interaction. But even in the face of this heartbreaking truth, Nicko remained steadfast in his determination to shield his mother from the depths of his sorrow. As they sat together, enveloped in a bittersweet silence, Nicko clung to the fragile hope that his mother's strength and resilience would prevail. He yearned for more time and more memories, but he knew that life's cruel hand had dealt them a devastating blow. And so, in the face of imminent loss, they clung to each other, finding solace in the love that had sustained them throughout their journey. "Do you still remember your promise?" Nicko asked, his voice quivering with a mix of sadness and determination.

"You've promised me that you'll attend my graduation, and you'll be the one to hang my medals, right?"

He clung to this flicker of hope, this small beam of light in the darkness that threatened to consume them. His mother's tired eyes met his, a mixture of love and longing shining through, but she could no longer answer that question, and all she did at that moment was nod weakly until the album and pictures she got hold of landed on the floor out of her grip, causing a short thud that scattered the pictures on the ground.

In the depths of Nicko's anguish, he felt his heart breaking into a million shattered pieces. The weight of the circumstances pressed upon him, threatening to suffocate his spirit, which stunned him. At the moment, he was unable to move his body due to the shock of the sudden circumstances. Though he knew that would happen, he didn't expect that to happen at the very moment. And a large amount of tears starts to fall on the scattered pictures on the ground. He couldn't fathom why his prayers seemed to fall on deaf ears, as if God had turned a blind eye to their suffering. Life appeared cruel and meaningless, a never-ending cycle of pain and despair. Nicko couldn't help but question the purpose of it all, wondering why he and his family had to endure such relentless hardships. The world seemed to revel in their suffering, an unfeeling entity that showed no mercy.

As he witnessed his mother's declining health 'until her death, the thought of losing her became an unbearable reality until the moment it actually happened. The pain of losing his father was still fresh, and the idea of facing another devastating loss threatened to tear him apart. The mere notion of a world without his only family left him teetering on the edge of insanity, driving him crazy. In the depths of his despair, the idea of death as an escape began to consume his thoughts when he saw the knife he used to slice lately beside the plate. The notion that it might be better to end his own life rather than endure a world filled with torment, suffering, and misery flowed through his mind. The darkness whispered seductively, promising an end to the pain that seemed to follow him relentlessly. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her; the only anchor in his sole existence was rubbed in an instant. He resolved to be her rock and her source of strength, even as his own world crumbled around him. To the point that he thought that life was useless and miserable, and he could only blame the world for being ruthless and cruel towards his family and to him, which led him to conclude that it is better to die than to live in this world if you'll only suffer from time to time.

And the thought of it drives him out of his mind.

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