Chapter 9 - Too Afraid To Tell You

Myeong Jo just finished taking a shower. She was wiping her body with a

towel. She stood in front of the mirror and wiped the mirror away. She looked

at herself for a while.

Only thinking of their beautiful kiss. Her heart

fluttered just by recalling it. She saw herself getting red so she slapped

herself. She is overreacting. That was just a lovely kiss. Well, her first ever

kiss so it was bound to be special to her.

Suddenly her smile dropped. The truth that she

was keeping it as a secret; she suddenly recalled it. Her heart began aching

slightly. Sometimes the truth is so hard for us to accept that we do other

things to forget it. But eventually, it haunts us down till the end.

She lowered the towel that she was wearing down

a little, showing the mirror her full back. She said to herself, "Only if

you were there." She really hoped the scar was there. Really from the

bottom of her heart, she wanted that scar on her back. But it was clearly

empty.

Her heart twisted in pain that she has to leave

this universe. She has to leave him. She has to leave the one person of her

whole life she wished for each night.

Before she could know it, tears were gathered in

her eyes. Her lips shook and her voice dried.

Days are passing fast. She doesn't have much

time time left. Jimin isn't even aware of this incident.

She walked to her dressing table after wearing

clothes. She sat on the chair and lowered her head down.

She slowly raised her head to looknat herself in

the reflection.

"Same body, same face, same voice, same

personality, same skills yet not the same one." she mumbled.

"Why can't I be her? Why can't I be his wife? I have everything of

hers! Just why? She deserved him so I deserve him too! Not for 149 days!

Forever! I wished for him my whole life, without missing a single night, trying

every single way. Then why? Why am I being punished like this?" she broke

into tears.

"I love him so much! I love him like crazy!

I want to spend every second on the clock with him. I want to watch the sun

rising and going down with him. I want to observe the moon shining with all the

stars in the infinite dark sky. I want to have a happy family with children

with him. I want to do everything with him! Why can't I? I deserve these

too!"

Her voice was breaking down.

"How will I live after leaving him?"

Suddenly the door knocked. Myeong Jo wiped her

eyes with a tissue quickly and cleared her throat. "Come In."

The love of her life, Jimin entered with a

smile. He walked over to her and hugged her from the back.

"Took a shower?" He asked, sniffing

her hair.

She nodded.

He let her go and sat on his knees beside her,

turning the chair towards him. She was facing him, looking down at him.

"I have a surprise for my Jagi!" he

smiled with his eyes.

A moment ago, she was crying and now she again

felt that special feeling. Her heart told her to smile.

"Close your eyes, first."

Myeong Jo closed her eyes, her fists clenching

together.

He took her left hand in his and put something

on her finger. She opened her eyes and saw a crystal ring.

That's when she felt more pain instead of

happiness. This is too much for her! She can't leave him. She can't go back to

her cruel universe, leaving him. Instead of smiling, her eyes unknowingly

dropped water.

Jimin widened his eyes, "Myeong Jo-ah,

a-are you okay? I-is something wrong? You didn't l-like it?"

He held her cheeks with his hands. She got down

on her knees too and hugged him, crying. Jimin was really surprised and

confused by her sudden actions.

"Baby, why are you crying? I-I.....did I do

anything wrong? Tell me....."

She didn't answer. Jimin took her on his laps,

she without any hesitation sat on his lap and again hid her face on his

shoulders. He hugged her tightly, rocking her like a baby little.

"Jimin-ah..........I-I really love

you........ More than anything..........." she first time spoke.

Jimin was unable to understand why she was

talking like that.

"I know, Jagi......I know you love

me........ I do too. I love you like no end......." he consoled her,

stroking her hair again and again.

She faced him, her face was mixed with cries and

sorrow, "W-will you love me............no matter what?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. He was surely confused

by her words.

"Myeong Jo, tell me if something is

bothering you.........why are you a-asking......."

She broke into sobbing again, tears were flowing

down like waterfall.

"I-I will. I will love you, darling. No

matter what, if you forget me again, or even if you stop loving me, even if you

leave me, nothing will stop me from loving you. I will always love you like I

always did." he whispered, his voice sounding as music.

Myeong Jo cleared her voice, "E-even if I

tell......you something..........which will shock you?"

The room filled with silence. Jimin knew Myeong

Jo was definitely hiding something. Her words and face could express it. She

looked too broken. Jimin's heart felt a thump of fear and suspense. Her

question was too strange for her to ask.

"W-what do you mean?" Jimin asked her.

She said again, "Even if I tell you a

shocking fact, will you still love me?"

Jimin was way more surprised than before. She

spoke without her voice cracking and she sounded firm. He just stared at her,

not knowing about what she was talking about. Is it something that will really

shock him? Or is it just her mind believing it?

"I-I don't understand....." Jimin

uttered.

Myeong Jo knew she couldn't hide it any longer.

If she keeps lying to him, that means she's betraying him. She can't be

selfish. Just for her own happiness, she can't keep the real wife a secret.

"Jimin..... I.........."

Her words were interrupted by her cries.

"I..........."

Jimin kept staring at her, wanting to know.

"I-I know you'll..........be mad.....but

it's essential for me......to tell you....."

"I'm....................."

Jimin widened his eyes more.

"I'm in love with you like no end."

She couldn't tell him. She was too afraid.

Scared she will lose him. She wants him by any cost. She didn't want to lose

him........

Jimin burst into chuckling. Poor him! He thought

Myeong Jo was gonna tell him such a shocking fact. No wonder she was silly!

"Awww....." Jimin pinched her red nose

and smiled.

"Y-you scared me, I thought you are gonna

say you want a divorce or something." he laughed at his own words.

Myeong Jo remained silent. Inside she was

feeling too much guilt.

Jimin joined their foreheads, pulling her closer.

He liked it to do this with her. Myeong Jo kept her eyes shut as tears were

gathered inside.

"How can you be so cute even when

confessing? Huh?" he kissed her forehead.

As she was sitting on his lap, it was easy for

him to carry her bridal-style. He carried her slowly and took her to the bed.

She was silent as she was lost in her mind.

He made her lay down gently and laid beside her.

He turned her face towards him, holding her chin.

Myeong Jo came into her senses and before she

could realize, he kissed her gently.

She was way too sorry and guilty as she knew

this kiss shouldn't happen. Their love shouldn't grow. She shouldn't fall for

him. She has to think of his real wife. The real wife loved him and she

deserves him, not her.

She wanted to pull away but her heart was

forcing to continue. She really wanted to break the kiss but she wanted this

love more. So she closed her eyes and kissed him back.

He pulled away soon. He looked at her in a beautiful, uncontrolled way

that made her heart beat faster.

"We loved each other before, we love each

other now and we will always love each other. There's nothing that will

separate me from you."

She replied to him in her mind, "Oh

Jimin........... How can I tell you that I'm not the one who loved you or for

whom you fell in love with........."

He caressed her cheeks, putting the hair strand

behind her ear.

"You are a gift to me, Myeong Jo. A gift that makes me happy &

makes me wanting to protect you. I want to keep you safe in my heart and lock

it with a key so that you can never leave me. Your smile is my power. Your face

is my smile. Your touch is my comfort. Your voice is my music. Your eyes are my

ocean. Your existence is my heartbeat. Everything about you is connected to

me." Jimin whispered sweetly to her ears.

"That's why I will love you no matter what.

You are me & I am you." he smiled sweetly.

Myeong Jo's heart was shaken by his words. She

couldn't help falling in love with this amazing guy. He........is different.

Very different to her as she had only Yoongi as her close one. She never felt

the expression of love and romance other than her brother. Though that was only

brotherly care.

She wished for love, a person who will love and

value her as an important person. Wishing firmly after 23 years, she finally

got her wish come true. And now she's feeling one of the greatest feeling of

any universe. Love.

She snuggled closer to Jimin and hid her face

inside his chest. He took her in his arms again, adoring his wife in the most

comfortable way. He loves her so much. He loves her even though she forgot him.

Just she forgot him, doesn't mean she doesn't love him. Love is what matters.

So Jimin indead cares for her in a special way.

Both of them were laying on the bed, in each other's arms.

Morning or night didn't matter to them. Just

being by each other's side were all that they needed.

But deep inside, Myeong Jo felt that same feeling mixed with guilt and

worries, she knew she was taking someone else's place.

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