Chapter 1

...I only wished that the hell that was awaiting me after my death was not as horrible as the books I read described it to be. Who would have expected that the moment I flattered open my eyes, the moment I would finally see the other side... I would have a woman crying all over me! Spreading her tears and snots on my body!...

It all started a couple of days ago, when I received a letter for a new mission. It was a common one, I just had to break into a military base of the opponent and kill another one of those big shots, the new head of their army. The plan was simple: get in the city with a fighting aircraft, sky dive to the roof of the building, sneak in from the aeration system and hit the target, aim for the head! When the time was right, the assigned pilot gave me a flight to the place. Two thousand feet off the ground, got the perfect height at the perfect spot! But it was too good to be true, as I jumped I realised my parachute has been teared up. It was to late for me to do to anything so all I did was closing my eyes and smiling for the God blessed fact that the slaughter could finally end. The slaughter of the world that I experienced since the time I could remember myself, the slaughter that I hated so much but continued to do everyday.

Yet, I am still alive and well, if well can be called the situation I am in. Right at this moment, I am sitting on a bed inside a shabby, dusty suffocatingly small room in the well known mansion of the great General Lin. As the memory of the girl whose body I am now possesing informes me, this general is my father, Lin Hao, while the woman that was crying beside me in my 'deathbed' is my mother, Su AnQin. Although she does not seem to be in a very 'grand' position as the wife of the house should be. Not only could she not bare a legitimate son for the Lin family, neglecting her duties, but the female child she gave birth to is a total loser, so she is not only being disable of managing the house affairs, but also forced to stay together with her daughter in this hole, wearing rugs and taking care of each other by themselves. This father of mine, although an incredible soldier in the battlefield, is really a bad husband.

My mother suddenly burged in coming near me as soon as she entered the room. She sat beside me and caressed my head, such a gentle touch...

"Sun, come out and take a look at Xie" she commanded with a worried voice as a little white fox with emerald green eyes made its appearance out of her silver shiny bracelet, the only thing that was decent on her. The fox came near me and started smelling me from head to toe. Then, it placed its paw on my forhead releasing a beautiful pale green light that floated around me. Just at that little moment, it felt like the northern lights were surrounding me with their beauty. As the light faded out, the little creature moved away from me, accidentally touching my arm with its soft snowwhite fur and sat on the lap of its owner.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me, her concern for her child spread all over her face. What an irony that who she truly meant to ask is not even here. She could not even protect herself, she really was a loser after all... is she happy where she is? Was she a good person? She must have been, since her mother adores her so much... otherwise she wouldn't be so willing to abandon the luxury life that awaits her as the wife of the best general of the country, gentle and kind, smart and talented, gifted with pharmaceutical powers, perfect in any way for her daughter that only brought her to her doom.

"Xie?" she called again, sounding more anxious this time. "You must be really disappointed" I said as I wasn't off of my thoughts yet. "What?" the anxiousness in her voice turned into a mix of sadness and fear, such a confusing emotion.

"Although both you and father are very powerfull and talented, I did not inherit the gift and drag you down. Also, not only am I a loser, but also quite a useless one, as I can't even complete the simplest task of bringing water from the well for your bath without falling in it. Your daughter trully is an idiot" I looked at her straight in the eyes as I criticized her child, which in my later realisation, was right now me.

She quickly grabbed my hands and held her tightly but not forcefully on hers, tears endlessly running on her pale cheeks, " Xie... please, please stop saying those filthy things about yourself, o-okay? You are not a useless loser neither an idiot, and you did not drug me anywhere down! You are such a good and kind kid, a-and you deserve the best! So please stop thinking like that, will you?" she said as I took her hands in mine instead "I didn't mean to upset you".

Then, she embraced me leaving a shocked expression to my face. Was this the motherly love and affection? It really feels... warm. We held each other for a while as I decided that I am going to offer her the best in the world as a repayment for the suffering she endured all this years.

And... I am definitely going to live a better life too than the defenceless girl that died because of others. All this awful treatment towards her going on for years drove her mad with depression. But still... so pathetic to be unable to keep yourself sane.

So, first step to achieve the goal of 'happiness'? The loser title must be...

Gone.

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