Episode 13

"Candidate Flipper, United States Military Academy, reports his entrance into this office, sir.""Well, what do you want?" was the rather gruff reply.

"I desire permission to visit Smith, sir," answered I, thoughtlessly saying "Smith," instead of "Mr" or "Cadet Smith."He instantly sprang from his seat into rather close proximity to my person and angrily yelled:

"Well, sir, I want to hear you say 'Mr. Smith.' Iwant you to understand, sir, he is a cadet and you're a 'plebe,' and I don't want to see such familiarity on your part again, sir," putting particular emphasis on "Mr."Having thus delivered himself he resumed his seat, leaving me, I imagine, more scared than otherwise.

"What do you want?" asked he again, after a pause of a moment or so.

"Permission to visit Mr. Smith."

Without condescending to notice for the time my request he gave the interview a rather ludicrous turn, I thought, by questioning me somewhat after this manner:

"Can you dance, Mr. Flipper?"

Having answered this to his entire satisfaction, he further asked:

"Expect to attend the hops this summer?"

"Oh no, sir," replied I, smiling, as he also was, for I had just discovered the drift of his questions.

After mischievously studying my countenance for a moment, he returned to the original subject and queried, "Where do you want to go?"I told him.

"Well, get out of my sight."

I considered the permission granted, and hastily withdrew to take advantage of it.

Between breakfast and supper those of us who had been there at least a day had quite a pleasant time. We were not troubled with incessant inspections or otherwise. We either studied for examination or walked around the grounds. At or near seven o'clock, the time of retreat parade, we were formed near our barracks and inspected. Our ranks were opened and the cadet lieutenant inspected our clothing and appearance generally. A not infrequent occurrence on these occasions was:

"Well, mister, what did you shave with--a shoehorn?"At this we would smile, when the lieutenant, sergeant, or corporal would jump at us and yell:

"Wipe that smile off your face, sir! What do you mean, sir, by laughing in ranks?"If any one attempted to reply he was instantly silenced with--"Well, sir, don't reply to me in ranks."The inspection would be continued. Some one, unable to restrain himself--the whole affair was so ridiculous--would laugh right out in ranks. He was a doomed man.

"What do you mean, sir, by laughing in ranks, sir?"Having been once directed not to reply in ranks, the poor "plebe" would stand mute.

"Well, sir, don't you intend to answer me?""Yes, sir."

"Well, sir, step it out. What were you grinning at?""Nothing, sir.""Nothing! Well, sir, you're a pretty thing to be grinning at nothing. Get in ranks."The inspection would, after many such interruptions, be continued. Ranks would at length be closed and the command, "In place, rest!" given. The battalion would march in from parade at double time and form in the area to our rear. The delinquencies of the day previous would then be published by the cadet adjutant.

What most strikes a "plebe" is this same publication.

He hasn't the remotest idea of what it is. Not a word uttered by the adjutant is understood by him. He stands and wonders what it is. A perfect jargon of words, unintelligible and meaningless to him! I remember distinctly how I used to wonder, and how I was laughed at when I asked for information concerning it. We "plebes" used to speak of it often, and wonder if it was not French. When we were better acquainted with the rules and customs of the Academy we learned what it was. It was something of this nature, read from the "Delinquency Book:"DELINQUENCIES, TUESDAY, OCT. 12.

ADAMS.--Late at reveille roll-call.

BEJAY.--Sentinel not coming to "Arms, Port," when addressed by the officer of the day.

SAME.--Not conversant with orders at same.

BARNES.--Same at same.

SAME.--Sentinel, neglect of duty, not requiring cadet leaving his post to report his departure and destination.

SAME.--Hanging head, 4 P.M.

BULOW.--Dust on mantel at inspection, 9.30 A.M.

SAME.--Executing manual of arms with pointer in section-room, 9 A.M.

SAME.--Using profane expression, 1 P.M.

CULLEN.--Out of bed at taps.

DOUNS.--Light in quarters, 11 p.m.

SAME.--Not prepared on 47 Velasquez.*

*For these delinquencies the cadets are allowed to write explanations. If the offence is absence from quarters or any duty without authority, or is one committed in the Academical Department, called an Academical Delinquency, such as not being prepared on some lesson, an explanation is required and must be written. For all other offences the cadet can write an explanation or not as he chooses. If the explanation is satisfactory, the offence is removed and he gets no demerits, otherwise he does. For form of explanation see Chapter X., latter part.

On the 26th of May, another colored candidate reported. It is said he made the best show at the preliminary examination. Unfortunately, however, he was "found" at the following semi-annual examination. He was brought up to my quarters by a corporal, and I was ordered to give him all instruction which had previously been given me.

This I did, and his first days at West Point were much more pleasant than mine had been.

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