Classic Mystery and Detective Stories

Classic Mystery and Detective Stories

Episode 1

IN TWO CHAPTERS

THE MORTALS IN THE HOUSE

Under none of the accredited ghostly circumstances, and environed by none of the conventional ghostly surroundings, did I first make acquaintance with the house which is the subject of this Christmas piece. I saw it in the daylight, with the sun upon it. There was no wind, no rain, no lightning, no thunder, no awful or unwonted circumstance, of any kind, to heighten its effect. More than that:

I had come to it direct from a railway station: it was not more than a mile distant from the railway station; and, as I stood outside the house, looking back upon the way I had come, I could see the goods train running smoothly along the embankment in the valley. I will not say that everything was utterly commonplace, because I doubt if anything can be that, except to utterly commonplace people--and there my vanity steps in; but, I will take it on myself to say that anybody might see the house as I saw it, any fine autumn morning.

The manner of my lighting on it was this.

I was travelling towards London out of the North, intending to stop by the way, to look at the house. My health required a temporary residence in the country; and a friend of mine who knew that, and who had happened to drive past the house, had written to me to suggest it as a likely place. I had got into the train at midnight, and had fallen asleep, and had woke up and had sat looking out of window at the brilliant Northern Lights in the sky, and had fallen asleep again, and had woke up again to find the night gone, with the usual discontented conviction on me that I hadn't been to sleep at all;--upon which question, in the first imbecility of that condition, I am ashamed to believe that I would have done wager by battle with the man who sat opposite me. That opposite man had had, through the night--as that opposite man always has--several legs too many, and all of them too long. In addition to this unreasonable conduct (which was only to be expected of him), he had had a pencil and a pocket-book, and had been perpetually listening and taking notes. It had appeared to me that these aggravating notes related to the jolts and bumps of the carriage, and I should have resigned myself to his taking them, under a general supposition that he was in the civil-engineering way of life, if he had not sat staring straight over my head whenever he listened. He was a goggle-eyed gentleman of a perplexed aspect, and his demeanor became unbearable.

It was a cold, dead morning (the sun not being up yet), and when I had out-watched the paling light of the fires of the iron country, and the curtain of heavy smoke that hung at once between me and the stars and between me and the day, I turned to my fellow-traveller and said:

"I BEG your pardon, sir, but do you observe anything particular in me?" For, really, he appeared to be taking down, either my travelling-cap or my hair, with a minuteness that was a liberty.

The goggle-eyed gentleman withdrew his eyes from behind me, as if the back of the carriage were a hundred miles off, and said, with a lofty look of compassion for my insignificance:

"In you, sir?--B."

"B, sir?" said I, growing warm.

"I have nothing to do with you, sir," returned the gentleman; "pray let me listen--O."

He enunciated this vowel after a pause, and noted it down.

At first I was alarmed, for an Express lunatic and no communication with the guard, is a serious position. The thought came to my relief that the gentleman might be what is popularly called a Rapper: one of a sect for (some of) whom I have the highest respect, but whom I don't believe in. I was going to ask him the question, when he took the bread out of my mouth.

"You will excuse me," said the gentleman contemptuously, "if I am too much in advance of common humanity to trouble myself at all about it. I have passed the night--as indeed I pass the whole of my time now--in spiritual intercourse."

"O!" said I, somewhat snappishly.

"The conferences of the night began," continued the gentleman, turning several leaves of his note-book, "with this message: 'Evil communications corrupt good manners.'"

"Sound," said I; "but, absolutely new?"

"New from spirits," returned the gentleman.

I could only repeat my rather snappish "O!" and ask if I might be favored with the last communication.

"'A bird in the hand,'" said the gentleman, reading his last entry with great solemnity, "'is worth two in the Bosh.'"

"Truly I am of the same opinion," said I; "but shouldn't it be Bush?"

"It came to me, Bosh," returned the gentleman.

The gentleman then informed me that the spirit of Socrates had delivered this special revelation in the course of the night. "My friend, I hope you are pretty well. There are two in this railway carriage. How do you do? There are seventeen thousand four hundred and seventy-nine spirits here, but you cannot see them.

Pythagoras is here. He is not at liberty to mention it, but hopes you like travelling." Galileo likewise had dropped in, with this scientific intelligence. "I am glad to see you, amico. Come sta?

Water will freeze when it is cold enough. Addio!" In the course of the night, also, the following phenomena had occurred. Bishop Butler had insisted on spelling his name, "Bubler," for which offence against orthography and good manners he had been dismissed as out of temper. John Milton (suspected of wilful mystification) had repudiated the authorship of Paradise Lost, and had introduced, as joint authors of that poem, two Unknown gentlemen, respectively named Grungers and Scadgingtone. And Prince Arthur, nephew of King John of England, had described himself as tolerably comfortable in the seventh circle, where he was learning to paint on velvet, under the direction of Mrs. Trimmer and Mary Queen of Scots.

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5 Episode 5
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7 Episode 7
8 Episode 8
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11 Episode 11
12 Episode 12
13 Episode 13
14 Episode 14
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16 Episode 16
17 Episode 17
18 Episode 18
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24 Episode 24
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26 Episode 26
27 Episode 27
28 Episode 28
29 Episode 29
30 Episode 30
31 Episode 31
32 Episode 32
33 Episode 33
34 Episode 34
35 Episode 35
36 Episode 36
37 Episode 37
38 Episode 38
39 Episode 39
40 Episode 40
41 Episode 41
42 Episode 42
43 Episode 43
44 Episode 44
45 Episode 45
46 Episode 46
47 Episode 47
48 Episode 48
49 Episode 49
50 Episode 50
51 Episode 51
52 Episode 52
53 Episode 53
54 Episode 54
55 Episode 55
56 Episode 56
57 Episode 57
58 Episode 58
59 Episode 59
60 Episode 60
61 Episode 61
62 Episode 62
63 Episode 63
64 Episode 64
65 Episode 65
66 Episode 66
67 Episode 67
68 Episode 68
69 Episode 69
70 Episode 70
71 Episode 71
72 Episode 72
73 Episode 73
74 Episode 74
75 Episode 75
76 Episode 76
77 Episode 77
78 Episode 78
79 Episode 79
80 Episode 80
81 Episode 81
82 Episode 82
83 Episode 83
84 Episode 84
85 Episode 85
86 Episode 86
87 Episode 87
88 Episode 88
89 Episode 89
90 Episode 90
91 Episode 91
92 Episode 92
93 Episode 93
94 Episode 94
95 Episode 95
96 Episode 96
97 Episode 97
98 Episode 98
99 Episode 99
100 Episode 100
101 Episode 101
102 Episode 102
103 Episode 103
104 Episode 104
105 Episode 105
106 Episode 106
107 Episode 107
108 Episode 108
109 Episode 109
110 Episode 110
111 Episode 111
112 Episode 112
113 Episode 113
114 Episode 114
115 Episode 115
116 Episode 116
117 Episode 117
118 Episode 118
119 Episode 119
120 Episode 120
121 Episode 121
122 Episode 122
123 Episode 123
124 Episode 124
125 Episode 125
126 Episode 126
127 Episode 127
128 Episode 128
129 Episode 129
130 Episode 130
131 Episode 131
132 Episode 132
133 Episode 133
134 Episode 134
135 Episode 135
136 Episode 136
137 Episode 137
138 Episode 138
139 Episode 139
140 Episode 140
141 Episode 141
142 Episode 142
143 Episode 143
144 Episode 144
145 Episode 145
Episodes

Updated 145 Episodes

1
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2
Episode 2
3
Episode 3
4
Episode 4
5
Episode 5
6
Episode 6
7
Episode 7
8
Episode 8
9
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10
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11
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15
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16
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18
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19
Episode 19
20
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22
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23
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24
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25
Episode 25
26
Episode 26
27
Episode 27
28
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29
Episode 29
30
Episode 30
31
Episode 31
32
Episode 32
33
Episode 33
34
Episode 34
35
Episode 35
36
Episode 36
37
Episode 37
38
Episode 38
39
Episode 39
40
Episode 40
41
Episode 41
42
Episode 42
43
Episode 43
44
Episode 44
45
Episode 45
46
Episode 46
47
Episode 47
48
Episode 48
49
Episode 49
50
Episode 50
51
Episode 51
52
Episode 52
53
Episode 53
54
Episode 54
55
Episode 55
56
Episode 56
57
Episode 57
58
Episode 58
59
Episode 59
60
Episode 60
61
Episode 61
62
Episode 62
63
Episode 63
64
Episode 64
65
Episode 65
66
Episode 66
67
Episode 67
68
Episode 68
69
Episode 69
70
Episode 70
71
Episode 71
72
Episode 72
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Episode 73
74
Episode 74
75
Episode 75
76
Episode 76
77
Episode 77
78
Episode 78
79
Episode 79
80
Episode 80
81
Episode 81
82
Episode 82
83
Episode 83
84
Episode 84
85
Episode 85
86
Episode 86
87
Episode 87
88
Episode 88
89
Episode 89
90
Episode 90
91
Episode 91
92
Episode 92
93
Episode 93
94
Episode 94
95
Episode 95
96
Episode 96
97
Episode 97
98
Episode 98
99
Episode 99
100
Episode 100
101
Episode 101
102
Episode 102
103
Episode 103
104
Episode 104
105
Episode 105
106
Episode 106
107
Episode 107
108
Episode 108
109
Episode 109
110
Episode 110
111
Episode 111
112
Episode 112
113
Episode 113
114
Episode 114
115
Episode 115
116
Episode 116
117
Episode 117
118
Episode 118
119
Episode 119
120
Episode 120
121
Episode 121
122
Episode 122
123
Episode 123
124
Episode 124
125
Episode 125
126
Episode 126
127
Episode 127
128
Episode 128
129
Episode 129
130
Episode 130
131
Episode 131
132
Episode 132
133
Episode 133
134
Episode 134
135
Episode 135
136
Episode 136
137
Episode 137
138
Episode 138
139
Episode 139
140
Episode 140
141
Episode 141
142
Episode 142
143
Episode 143
144
Episode 144
145
Episode 145

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