Chapter one

I pulled into my driveway after a long, long day I was practically sleeping on the wheel.

I looked over to see my neighbor perfectly happy not a single terase of unhappiness...

It was sickening knowing someone like that was so god damn happy it's not fair! Why do they get to be happy? Why do they get perfect measured ounces of happiness?

I opened my car door almost immediately I closed and locked it then took my empty hand and pushed it threw my dark brown curly locks for hair, smoothing it out to look messy on one side yet on the other like it was ment to look the way it was. I was a natural at making things look good no even better stunning. It was this impeccable talent that shined and said I could be a model.

I walked passed my happy, happy, H...appy neighbor. I was really hoping and preying they would not want to speak with me today but who am I kidding of course they would want too... they responded so fast to me walking bye the were practically in my yard. I hesitated at the door once they spoke , putting on my best smile.

" Ahh~ Mister. Frank how may I help you this evening ~?

He chuckled when I asked which pissed me off. But I new not to lose my temper I'm always being watched after all I can never catch a break. Just this morning I was already thinking about something I clearly have forgotten bye now, anyways paparazzi where outside my window taking pictures.

My blood was boiling I was in raged at the audacity and the lack of shame they had in order to stalk celebrities. My house wasn't all that extravagant yet again it is quite big with a lovely yard , I hire someone to keep up with the weeds and bugs that is I don't even know what to do with such a huge space. I zoned out for quite awhile until I heard a snap infront of my me. I jumped the sound was so uncalled for I was back to talking with Mister.Frank I almost finished my daydream yet he had to run it...

I frowned out his action clearly taking offense when he finally decided to speak.

" are you ok Miss.Emily? "

He asked in a confused tone. I looked up at him with innocent eyes to see if I could play him for a bit.

" I'm fine~ I'm so sorry I spaced out sir."

" Don't be sorry Miss Emily I understand how stressful it is to be in your situation."

He was trying so hard to put it as softly as he could while looking away in a awkward matter swinging his hairs in his sleek jet black hair. It was easy to tell he has never comforted the opposite sex. It was quite amusing seeing him try so desperately to cheer me up.

Seeing him lost for words , unhappy no.. Even better he was nervous I chuckled out loud I slowly brought my look back to him I held a tight gaze long enough to get him to give in and look away. I knew I was in control. I understand he was trying to be nice and comfort me but he would never understand my position...

A cheese eating grin appeared on his face as he said he needed to go. I smiled waved him good bye and unlocked my door. I rushed in knowing if I stayed out their any longer I would be swarmed bye people with cameras. " Damn it " They piss me off so much I can feel all my veins sticking out of my neck.

Now as you can tell I'm not a normal model, I mean I was once .... My career first started at 17 I was the hottest girl in school and most people couldn't say other wise I was a straight A+ student to be exact.Soo~ I obviously got some attention from some high classed model agents and fashion designers.

A girls dream right....? My first time I remember walking alone on that long stage I was told to walk proud, I did I was in a sleek dress it hugged my waist and it made an hour glass curve when it went to my ****** I heard people whispering left and right I also felt eyes glued to me as I walked down that iel for a stage.

A weird sensation struck me as I was doing this it felt it felt incredible it was like I was scared and it kinda hurt but no I liked the pain following each movement I felt my body shaking no one else could tell but I was really every last bit.

I turned 18 being the number one model in Alaska. Impressive? wrong I still feel empty something was missing... I immediately got to work pushing myself further everyday till I couldn't handle anymore...

once I get enough money I started my own modeling agency I only hired top models and the most alete fashion designers.

Bye age 19 my business was booming! I was still the top model. I mean of course I had to make a appearance here and their.

I soon quickly realized what I was feeling was adrenaline. I loved it the way it shocked you with it's cold grasp of fear, the feeling that makes you want to hurl .. It felt so good I wanted more ~!

but everything quickly got boring and it felt like I was in auto pilot playing a part in soap opera where people only go because they wanted to support their young teenagers first appearance on stage, once they were finished they would sleep or pretend they were into it. I can picture a timeline of every event I knew what everyone was wanting to do every move ment or question they wanted to make.

It feels like I don't have a purpose anymore I have my money, I have a home, but I was still itching for more...I craved adrenaline's touch it felt so good....so ..so ..good~

I tried everything that would fill me upon with it.

I hunted bears and wolves

I went skydiving.

Hell I ever tried parkour

That one was fun I can front flip, and back flip off of any building you name.

I graduated college at 19-20 years old and highschool at 16~ Ha! I graduated with 8 and some more degrees it was so easy it was kinda scary not going to lie.

I felt powerful yet... Even trying all that I still had the desired itch for more..

I started watching horror movies sitting threw some of the most intense jump scares but none of them seem to freak me out. It was sorta of satisfying seeing people in mask seeking out their victims blood to spilled above the Earths soil.

I watched criminal investigations. I think people are rather stupid for putting important information out on how police Identify the murder what evidence gives it away.

They do realize murders, rapist , child abductors, etc........ Watch TV also you'd think they would be more secretive. But it's not their faults it's the dumb snoopy news reporters. I growled in frustration as a pushy news woman kept prodding the nobel heros of the day on what happened.

she made my blood boil I mean how inconsiderate of her to walk up to a person who is not allowed to show any emotion in these situations yet alone give out important details. She really makes my skin crawl.

I'm currently 24..I'm still the top model.but my life feels like it's already laid out like this is how I'm going to spend it bored and always craving something I can never reach.

I Tried relaxing at work but I always got this erge that all my employees where forcing smiles on their faces.if they could do me a favor and not smile I would be content.

I layed in the back of my chair head dangling off the plat form above my long curly hair stretched to its length dangling towards the floor.

I sit their for awhile playing every conversation in my head that was a out to display itself on a white canvas for me.

"* huff* welp here I go "

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