chapter 3

Jimin was rushing to the bathroom with a palpitating heart, thinking several thoughts at once. 

"Shit. That was close, that was so close! How did this happen? What would have happened if I didn’t leave? Why was he... Aaah what the hell is happening!?”

Jimin felt all disoriented. Once he got into the bathroom, he splashed his face with ice cold water twice. He placed his hands on the sink countertop and looked up at himself in the mirror, exhaling slowly. He saw water droplets running down his face and was reminded of the sweat he had seen trickling down Jungkook’s face, just minutes ago. He had looked so beautiful, laying there next to him. Looking into his eyes. It was enough to drive anyone mad, let alone a longing heart. 

"Ugh, what’s wrong with me?! Why can’t I get rid of these goddamn feelings? It’s been years already! I see the guy every day, I know everything about him. I should see him as a sibling, or even be tired of him! But why can’t I… Why?! Damn it!”

A burning tear escaped from each of Jimin’s eyes. He felt like he was going crazy. Was there really no way to stop being in love with Jeon Jungkook? Was he going to end up all alone, as he could only keep Jungkook in his heart? Was this his fate perhaps? 

“Ah someone please help me…”  he cried out in his head and ended up on the floor, sobbing, for a long time.

***

That night, Jungkook had trouble falling asleep. The things he had felt during that dance practice kept pestering him. It was such a strange and unexplainable experience to him. Not like anything he had experienced before.

“There was definitely a weird sensation in my chest when we were laying down… like an itch? Or was it in my stomach? Did I overwork myself? Ah what was that?!

And why did Jimin look so good right then? What am I saying... But why did he leave so quickly? That was so weird... Is he still mad at me after all?

Ugh whatever, I don’t like overthinking too much. Let’s just sleep, sleep is good.”

The next day, Jimin was very quiet. His eyes were bloated and he had dark circles under them. He looked absolutely ghastly, until the makeup artist covered it up later on. But this certainly did not go unnoticed by Jungkook. So he asked him about his condition in the waiting room.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? You look really worn out. Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine! I… I stayed up late last night on my phone. That’s all.”

“Oh, well okay then.” 

“Wow now I even lie well.” Jimin thought. 

But Jimin’s low mood didn’t go away for the following two days, making Jungkook’s worry grow. Something had to be done. He figured if Jimin didn’t want to talk about it, he’d try to cheer him up with his actions instead. He needed to try something at the very least.

So during this day when they were filming at an outdoors location, Jungkook went out of his way to get snacks that Jimin liked, praise him, and try to make him laugh. At one point of filming, the staff decided they should take a short break. Seeing as how Jimin still looked quite down, Jungkook decided to give him a hug. He snuck up behind him, who was sitting down by himself on a rock, and wrapped his arms around his chest. 

“Hey Jimin-ssi! What’s up?” Jungkook said loudly and cheerfully. Jimin turned his head to his right shoulder, where he encountered Jungkook’s face. Startled, he shook him off and got up.

“What the hell?!” he said and glared furiously at Jungkook. “Don’t do that!” he told him and walked away in a haste before Jungkook could even respond.

Jungkook felt like he'd been slapped on the face. Why? What did he do to deserve this? He was so upset that before he knew it, he was running after Jimin, demanding an answer from him. 

Jimin had gone to a place far away from the other members and staff, as far as he could so they wouldn’t see or hear him if he started crying again. That was his biggest fear right then. So when Jungkook caught up to him, his heart skipped a beat.

“What? What do you want?”

“What do I want? What do YOU want from me? I’ve been nothing but nice to you for these past few weeks and all you do is give me the cold shoulder, or get angry at me like this! Why? What did I do wrong?!”

“You... Nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh please, you’re gonna play dumb with me now? You’re gonna deny the fact that we’ve barely spoken for ages too? I mean besides the dance practice the other day, you’ve been completely ignoring me! And speaking of that, why did you leave like that? You didn’t really have anything you forgot, did you? You just made that up because…”

“Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about Jungkook. Stop making up theories and just let it go. I’m telling you, it’s nothing.”

“So why did you run off?”

“What?”

“Why did you run off after practice, when we were on the floor?”

“Jungkook stop…”

“No I wanna know, why did you-”

“Because I’m in love with you! There, you happy now? Is this what you wanted? To see me completely humiliate myself in front of you?”

“W-what?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t know, you knew all along didn’t you? That’s why you kept pushing me away like I was the plague. And, what? Now that I’m doing the same to you, you’re upset?!”

Jungkook couldn’t get a word out of his mouth. 

“Do you really have no idea why I left? Did you really not feel anything in that moment?” Jimin’s voice was cracking. He sounded much more broken down now, rather than angry.

“I… I…”

Jungkook was cut off by his and Jimin’s phones ringing at the same time. They both picked up. Their break was long over, and they had to get back to work immediately. Jimin couldn’t do it though, so he had to lie yet again, and tell the crew that he was feeling nauseous and dizzy. He felt bad for leaving early, but he was in no state to work. That part was no lie. 

Jungkook on the other hand knew it would be strange if he left too, so he decided to stick it out and immerse himself in whatever they were doing. Sometimes, that was a good coping mechanism for him. So he let his mind be occupied entirely by those things instead. It wasn’t until the car ride home, when everyone was dozing off, that Jungkook could process what had happened.

“He… likes me?”

Images of Jimin’s pained face were flashing before Jungkook’s eyes. Likewise, Jimin’s voice was echoing in his head.

"Did you really not feel anything in that moment?”

He did feel… something. But he didn’t know what that was. Could it have been love? "Is that what it feels like?”  he wondered. He didn’t know, because he hadn’t been in love before.

“No it can’t be. Of course not... It must have been something else.”

He felt a heaviness in his chest. Everything that had happened was so unfamiliar and scary to him. He also couldn’t get Jimin’s sorrowful eyes out of his head. He felt so lost.

"What am I gonna do?”

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***