remembering

Jungkook POV

3 weeks ago

"Hyung, are you sleping ?" I stood up and made my way towards Jimin's bed. Unknowingly, I started to talk.

"I'm sorry to say that but... I miss you. So much." Then, everything went black. I remember hearing Jimin reading my diary.

"... One time, I took him as he was sleeping. It sounds creepy but I don't care. He was very beautiful. And, more importantly, he seemed at peace, not worrying about nothing and I loved seeing him like this. He was even more perfect." Then, I heard him cry.

"I-I can't be-believe it-t... He's just so sweet. He kn-new exactly w-what I was f-feeling before going t-to sleep-p. H-how ? I-it's craz-y." He was hiccuping as he sobbed.

It was so heartbreaking to hear him cry. He didn't know that I cared about him that much. So I began to cry too. I sensed him approaching me.

"Oh my gosh... He is crying ! He hears me ? J-Jungkook-ah ! K-Kookie ! Do you hear me ? I love you !" he said and I wanted to answer but couldn't even open my eyes. I started to panick, trying desperatly to move. Then, a piercing sound began and I heard the doctor coming in, asking the others to go out of the room. They began touching my head, arms and one nurse, I suppose, said

"His heart rate is too high."

"I think he's having a panick attack." said another nurse.

"He'll relax by himself, let's wait a bit."

I slowly began to calm down and everything went black, once again.

Sometimes, I was reagining consciousness, but still couldn't move nor open my eyes, neither could I talk. Everytime I 'woke up', it was Jimin, holding my hand, saying that he loves me, that he misses me, he wants me to wake up as soon as possible. I wanted to, really, but couldn't open my eyes. It was frustrating me so much, I was going crazy. But one day (about two days before waking up), I regained consciousness and it was Taehyung speaking.

"Jungkook, I'm so sorry. I feel like averything is my fault. I feel awful."

"Stop saying that Tae-Tae. It's not your fault." was saying Hoseok hyung.

"It is ! If I hadn't kissed Jimin that day, Jungkook wouldn't be here right now !"

"I forgave you, I don't why he wouldn't."

"And I'm so thankful hyung."

I heard them go out and a scene played in my mind.

I saw myself, all smiley and happy, going to meet Jimin in the practice room. When I arrived in front of the door, I opened it and was Jimin and V kissing. I felt anger and betrayal rising up in my chest and when I locked eyes with Jimin, I quickly turned around in hope that he won't talk with me. But Jimin grabbed me and tried to talk to me. But I was so blinded by anger, I didn't want to listen to his explanations, if he had ones. I could hear my heart beating in my ears and feel my blood boiling. I turned around, ran and felt and incredible pain go through my whole body before I passed out.

Back in present time (still Jungkook POV)

I had remembered what happened. It was replaying in my mind again and again until I felt someone kissing me. It was Jimin. His lips were as soft as velvet and I could recognize this feeling anywhere, anytime. He pulled and I opened my eyes. I tried to move and grabbed his hand. I tried to talk.

"Jimin-ah..." My voice was very hoarse, like I hadn't talked for weeks. He began to cry.

"J-Jungkook-ah... Is it real ? Are you really awake ?" I nodded. He squeezed my hand and sat down beside me. I looked at the other members. Their eyes were watery and they looked at me as if I was some kind of a ghost. I saw V and J-Hope holding hands and when they realised I was looking, they both let go. Suddenly, Jin hyung spoke.

"Jungkookie, you called him 'Jimin-ah'..."

"Yes hyung. I remember." I said, removing my hand from Jimin's and looking away, folding my arms. He tried to fight a sob that escaped his mouth.

"Kook, you can't be mad at him after all he's gone through for you !" exclaimed V hyung.

"Don't call me by my nickname. You're as much as a traitor as him right now." I retorted with fire in my eyes.

"Jungkook-ah..." began Yoongi-hyung.

"And what annoys me the most is that after all that, Jimin hyung dared confess to me one more time and I fell for him, again. If he hadn't worked hard, I wouldn't have remembered and I wouldn't be in pain right now." I said, my eyes filled with tears.

Jimin stood up and got out of the room.

"Are you serious ? I forgave V, why are you unable to do the same ?" said J-Hope.

It was the first time I saw him angry, it was so shocking but I couldn't back down now.

"I am unable to do the same because my boyfriend kissed your boyfriend even if they knew I was coming. Actually, my ex-boyfriend. I don't go out with cheaters." I said, bitter.

"I didn't know you could be such an ***. First, Jimin didn't kiss me, I did. Second, I didn't know thta you'd come. And now I talk to everyone, Hoseok and I are together since the accident." said V taking J-Hope's hand and going out of the room.

At this, some tears escaped, but I didn't break. They were falling but I still had a composed face, which was obviously confusing Namjoon hyung.

"Are you okay Jungkook ?" he asked, unsure.

"Do I look like I'm not okay ?" I asked back.

"Kinda, yes." he replied.

"So could you please go out and comfort Jimin ?" I said.

He nodded and took Jin hyung with him. Only Yoongi hyung remained.

"Why is it always us ?" I said.

"I don't know Kook. But I know you're acting. You knew that V kissed Jimin, and you're crying because you feel awful. You're feeling awful because you want to give some kind of a lesson to Jimin. What I don't know is why." said Yoongi, coming to sit by my side on the bed. I looked at him.

"You really are a genius. I hate you." I said, feeling pathetic.

"I'm not a genius but I know you. I can read you even better than Jimin. So, can you tell me why ?" he said, smiling.

"I don't know... I dreamed oftheir kiss but in different circumstances. The nightmare I had weeks ago when you comforted me was in fact about it. But I realised it just when I remembered everything. I think that if he let Tae kiss him, maybe he hadn't been sure about us. That's why I want him to stay away from me, even if I feel like dying right now. But I'm sure he feels worse." I answered, crying. Yoongi hyung took me in his arms and I let him hug me without returning it. After 5 minutes, he let go and the doctor entered.

"Hello Jungkook-ssi."

"Hello Dr Park."

"Yoongi-ssi, could you go out a minute please ?" asked the doctor, kindly. Yoongi hyung got up and went out.

"So, I heard that you woke up and remembered everything. Are you okay ? Feeling ill or anything ?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine but I think I need a psychologist." I replied.

"You know, Jimin-ssi is crying very hard. I don't know what happened but if a psychologist can help you, I can suggest you a very good one." said the doctor.

"I don't know what I'd tell him anyway. But thank you. Can I ask you a favor ?"

"A favour ? What kind ?"

"I'd like to stay here one more week please." I said.

"One week ? Why ?"

"I... don't want to go home. I kind of need to prepare myself."

"Okay, one week. I'll tell your members that you have to stay in case you feel ill or something. Have a nice day."

"Thank you." I said and the doctor went out. About one second after, V hyung entered and grabbed me by my gown.

"You know that Jimin loves you more than anything in this world and if anything happens to him because of you, I won't ever forgive you. NEVER !"

I grabbed him by his shirt.

"And you know that because of you, he cheated on me. You go around kissing other people's boyfriends and you dare give me a lesson ? Get lost."

Then, he punched me. At this moment, Namjoon entered and removed Taehyung from me, who was still punching me everywhere.

"STOP ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?" screamed Namjoon. The others entered and Yoongi came to me.

"Kook, you're bleeding. Let me give you some tissues."

"No, it's okay hyung. That's all I deserve since I've been cheated on." I said, drying the blood with the back of my hand when Jimin shouted.

"I DIDN'T CHEAT ON YOU ! I DIDN'T WANT ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN !" He had tears in his eyes.

"BUT IT HAPPENED ! YOU KISSED ANOTHER GUY WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER ! THIS IS CHEATING EVEN IF YOU WEREN'T THE ONE TO INITIATE IT." I shouted too, without realising it. I broke. I was crying my eyes out as Jimin was frozen in his shoes, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. Everyone went out but Jimin. When the door closed, he went to it. I hoped that he would go out too so that I could be alone but he locked it.

"Jungkook-ah..." he said. He made his way towards me, taking some tissues on the bedside table and grabbed my head to push it down and wipe the blood that was still coming out of my nose. I remained silent when he talked.

"I know that you hate me and you have the right to. But don't hate Tae. It wasn't his fault. It was mine because I forgot about him, my bestfriend. I understand that you don't want us to be together anymore, but can I be a good hyung to you ?" he said.

There was obvious guilt in his voice and it broke my heart in little pieces. I looked at him, staring at him.

"I don't hate you. I feel betrayed. I trusted you and by kissing V hyung, it broke. I want you to know that when I said 'I love you', I meant it. I still do. But it's complicated. I think we need time." I told him, not breaking eye-contact.

As I kept talking, his eyes were welling up with tears and when I finished, they all fell at once. I held out my hand to wipe them.

"Don't cry hyung. This is the best for both of us." I said.

He hugged me for less than a second, went to unlock the door and exited the room. I layed comfortably in the bed and fell asleep instantly.

That night, I woke up, drenched in sweat, from a nightmare. It was about Jimin. Going back home, he hurt himself badly and was taken to the hospital. After the surgery, he was carried to my room. I turned to my right and noticed that someone was really lying in a hospital bed in my room. I stood up slowly and went to it. I turned the bedside lamp on and Jimin was lying here, sleeping, with a pained expression on his face. I touched between his two eyebrows and his expression softened. I lied at his side and slept with him.

When I woke up in the morning, I was back in my bed. I sat up and Yoongi hyung was there.

"Good morning Kook. I took you back to your bed. I thought that you wouldn't want to be discovered. Was I wrong ?" he smiled to me.

"No, thank you hyung. But... What happened to Jimin ?" I asked, worried.

"When we arrived home yesterday, he was drinking some water and the glass broke in his hand. I don't know if it was intentional but the fact is that he cut his hand and his cheek. He must have gripped it very hard for it to break like this." he explained.

"Did he have surgery ?"

"Yes, but the scar won't be visible, so you don't have to worry."

"I feel like it's my fault hyung. I told him that we needed time and he maybe got upset."

"Even if it's your fault, it's okay. I think that it had to happen. He must have wanted to join you" he said, laughing. I smiled a little.

"Thanks for making me smile hyung. I really needed it. Where are the others ?"

"They are coming later. I wanted to talk to you, that's why I came early."

Jimin POV

I knew that Jungkook had slept with me this night but I decided to not say anything. My heart was beating like crazy and I couldn't help hugging him, he was so warm. When Suga hyung took him away from me, I nearly protested but let it pass. When they began to talk, I was touched that Jungkook was worried about me. Then Yoongi said that he has something to tell Jungkook. It seemed serious so I planned on listening to them. Jungkook began.

"I know hyung, but can we talk later, please ? I don't wanna talk right now."

"If you want, but we must talk Kook."

"Okay hyung. I promise."

I was frustrated. I wanted to know so badly what they would talk about but, apparently, it was a secret. I had to find out what it was but furst, I would 'wake up'. I yawned loudly, stretching. Both of them were surprised and jumped out.

"Good morning Jimin. Are you alright ? Does it hurt ?" Yoongi asked me.

"It's okay. It kinda sting but well..." I looked at Jungkook.

"How are you Kookie ?" I purposely used his nickname and he blushed. I was satisfied with it so I smiled.

"I'm fine hyung. A bit tired but it's okay." he replied. I wanted to tease him a little.

"Oh, really ? Why ? Did you not sleep well ?"

"Kinda. But, how come you hurt yourself ?"

"Oh, yes. I cut my hand and my cheek. It's strange. I broke a glass just by holding it. Maybe my grip was too strong. I don't know." I said, showing him my hand and cheek. He shuddered a bit at the sight of my wounds. I layed back.

"I'm hungry." I said, pouting.

"Right. What time is it ?" Jungkook asked.

"It's 8 A.M. They'll bring you breakfast soon." replied Yoongi.

"Have you eaten ?" I asked him.

"No, I wasn't hungry." he answered.

"You can eat with us !" said Jungkook, happy.

"I'll just eat in the cafeteria."

Then, two nurses entered with food and placed the trays in front of us before going back.

"I'll let you eat now. Seeya !" said Suga hyung before escaping the room.

Awkwardness filled the room the moment Suga hyung went out. Jungkook immediatly began to eat. I looked at him for five seconds and began to eat as well. We ate in silence for 5 minutes when he put down his spoon and chopsticks.

"Hyung, did I upset you with my words yesterday ?" he asked, suddenly. I set my spoon down and turned to meet his burning eyes.

"Yes, but I understand you even if I'm hurt. I predicted that you'd act like this when you woke up so... But I'll wait for you like I did these past 2 months. You need time and I think that it's the same for me." I said, not breaking eye-contact for even one millisecond. He seemed to understand what I said slowly so I let him think about it. Then, he smiled.

"Thank you hyung. I'm sure that we'll come out thoughened up." he said and went on eating. His words made me smile, they were so pure and warm. So 'Jungkook'. 'I'm sure of it too Kookie.' Jimin thought.

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