worries

"Oh come oon," Jeongguk whines as he hammers his fist to the vending machine, "I paid for you, why won't you come ouut". He settles his head on the glass with a thump, brain throbbing from the lack of sleep.

He can feel it, it's going to be a horrible day and the machine, silently denying to give him his morning coffee is not helping.

For once he is early at the company, trying to collect his thoughts before the day starts. To be honest, he left home in a rush, just because he didn't want to run into the person responsible for his lack of sleep.

After his unexpected realization of Tae being awkward towards him so suddenly, he spent multiple hours, trying to find the reason behind it. 'There has to be one piece I'm missing,' he told himself over and over. The only thing he found out was that the transition between Tae's behaviour has been pretty abruptly somewhere within their promotion period for 'LY: Answer'. That means it's already been 3 months and yes, that had him taken aback.

He feels defeated by his own ignorance and doesn't know how this could have even happened. He has to know how. Ideally now, but first, he needs to know if being close is only an issue when they are in public or not, which he has to test out as soon as possible - another reason why he needs time to prepare. Jeongguk just wants to make sure that he is at least not completely delusional. If that's not the case, then well ****. So yeah, now here he is, alone, fighting with this damn machine.

"Good Morning Gguk, what has the coffee machine done to you this early in the morning?" a familiar voice reaches Jeongguks ears. 'Tae' he thinks as he slowly turns his head that is still on the cold surface. Of course it's him, he could recognize this low mellow voice out of millions. His gaze travels to the older, scanning him unconsciously from head to toe. His sleepy hair paired with the wide button up and loose pants could almost be the outfit of a beggar, but it's Kim Taehyung. He could wear a potato bag and it'd still look like the newest Gucci collection.

'Okay,' Jeongguk thinks, 'it's not time to hide your balls, do something.' he hesitates. 'Should he keep it at a distance first?' He figures that this would not make much sense, since he HAS to test his reaction out properly. Also, he could really need some comfort right now and it's always Taehyung who knows how to do that best anyway.

So in conclusion, his last 3 awake and nerve-wrecked brain cells go for a hug. "Hyuung, give me a cuddle. I'm getting mistreated already and it's not even 8 am.", Jeongguk whines, worrying if it has been too much or bothersome.

However, seeing the other's fond smile and open arms, Jeongguk feels a familiar, but missed warmth flow into his chest, because Taehyung doesn't look bothered at all. 'Maybe the day isn't THAT bad after all,'

Jeongguk steps closer to the older boy and leans into the other's embrace that feels just right to even blur out the fact that he still needs to know why he is not acting casual like this on stage.

They stay like this for a few seconds until Jeongguk brakes the silence, "I just wanted to buy a coffee but the machine refuses me. This always happens when I'm short on sleep…", "Huh? What did you do yesterday? I thought you went to bed after I saw you in the kitchen.", Taehyung leans away a bit to look the younger in the eyes with a surprised look, "Nah, I wanted to, but something caught my attention, so yeah I-", Jeongguk pauses for a second, because it is only then that he realizes that the other would definitely ask for more information - which he simply can't give him without blowing up his cover or sounding like a complete fool. Therefore, he has to improvise. "-like I saw one of my favorite youtubers using a new editing tool and I had to try it out. But it turned out to be a bit harder to use than it looked like…" he says, being low-key proud that his made-up reason actually makes sense.

"Oh that's why. Are you working on a new Golden Closet Film?". Okay yeah no, screw 'being proud'. He didn't even have a new Idea - let alone done any editing since he uploaded the last GCF. So this is what he deserves for lying AND for being lazy.

He has to find a reasonable excuse to not let him see it quickly, since Taehyung is giving him a questioning look already, "Well, I-" "Yoooo good morning guys, how are you?" God thank Hoseok, this was perfect timing. Taehyung eases the grip around Jeongguk and turns to greet Hobi, who just entered with his freshly brewed morning coffee from the pop up store next door. Feeling a little bit stupid, because 'Why didn't I think of buying coffee there from the beginning?' He proceeds to blame it on the lack of sleep and waves a hand to greet his hyung.

'Now or never', he thinks using this situation to his advantage and escapes before Tae can ask him again about his non-existing edits with the words, "I guess, if the machine won't give me coffee, I'll just quickly head down to grab a coffee too, Hobi-hyung you have it from this new store right? Does it taste good?", walking towards Hobi, meeting him halfway. The older furrows his eyebrows as to why the younger is so enthusiastic that early in the morning AND is asking stupid questions. "How can you even compare that shit from the machine to actual coffee beans?" "I take this as a yes. See you in 10!" Jeongguk waves again, quickly aiming for the door. 'That was really close', he thinks as he trots down the stairs, sighing.

"Okay, that'd be everything. Let's continue with rehearsals after lunch break", their manager finally announces. They were discussing the general schedule for the next week and some details for the next concerts, which has him almost falling asleep, earning him a flick on the forehead from Jin and laughter from the rest of the team.

Luckily, in the afternoon they will continue with rehearsing the stages where he has to move his body. So, hopefully this will wake him up.

They are having their lunch in the lounge area of the company and the staff brought take out for the whole team: Chicken in soy sauce on rice with some small side dishes like kimchi, which smells deliciously. Jeongguk finishes early after shoving almost all of his food into his mouth at once. That's because he was too nervous to have a proper breakfast in the morning.

Full and satisfied, he excuses himself and decides to take short nap on a sofa in a quieter place, farther away from the rest of the crew.

Finally some sleep. The pillows feel like heaven as he gradually sinks deeper into them, the voices in the background slowly blurring into one monotone sound. As his thoughts flow by one by one, he comes to think of the comment from last night again. He would love to let it go and just sleep, but it lingers in his mind a little bit too long. 'Maybe this was just bullshit. At least when we are alone, it shouldn't be true. Today in the morning Taehyung acted all normal after all…' Jeongguk tells himself, successfully shaking of this thought and drifting off again.

He suddenly gets woken up by a loud thud. He opens his eyes halfway, not really able to tell what happened. 'The others must have just dropped something,' he thinks, eyes closed again, as he suddenly notices something brushing by his legs. He draws his eyes open just for a second, seeing Taehyung sitting at the other end of the couch who has Jeongguks legs placed on his thighs, drawing circles on the youngers skin as Taehyung almost falls asleep himself.

'Why is it always him today?' He can't help to notice every little thing Taehyung is doing, how he is acting when they are talking or even just looking at each other. It doesn't seem forced at all. Also, he observed that most of the time today it's not himself, but Taehyung approaching him, which has him smiling unconsciously.

Taehyung catches the sleepy smile and does the same, "I've been wondering…", Taehyung brakes the silence and pauses, sighing, "What do fans see when they watch us interact?" and suddenly Jeongguk is wide awake. His head shot up at this question and his eyes are wide open now, looking at the other who is still grabbing onto his leg.

"W-What do you mean?" Jeongguk tries to sound casually, why does Taehyung bring up this question now? Was his concern justified after all? So he is uncomfortable about being close in public. But he never seemed to care much about shippers, so why exactly now?

Taehyung looks away, "I don't know, really. It's just that, whatever we do, they tend to over-analyze our behavior and some of them… They make us look like we're in love and stuff, you know?", he sighs again, visibly sinking deeper into thoughts, "Sometimes they even make me believe them for a second, because they are so detailed." now he seems to be completely lost in thoughts, making a face that Jeongguk tries, but fails to decipher.

When the older notices the others stare, Taehyung turns to Jeongguk and smiles nervously "And then I realize it's just us."

Jeongguk wants to say something, but he is at loss for words. What does he mean? What is he thinking and why is he acting like this all of a sudden? And also, did he just really hear that he reads stuff about them? Like.. Fanfictions? He can't find the right way to answer this sudden intervention, so he just keeps staring with his mouth open and no words coming out. Taehyung seems to get even more nervous at the silence, so he continues, "don't tell me you never look at these posts and read what our fans think. I KNOW you are on Twitter all the time." Taehyung answers with a defensive voice. "I didn't know you were following taekook fan-accounts?" Jeongguk asks, trying to direct the attention back to the other.

"Well, uhm.. I'm not even sure if I do to be honest", he laughs, "At least not on purpose though. As you know, at the beginning I followed mostly big fan accounts and fan-artists, but by the time it got more and now I follow all types of accounts. Also, they retweet all different types of things, including ships, so it's kind of unavoidable?" he pauses, continuously boxing Jeongguks thighs slightly, "Anyway, it's not really important, I was just wondering what you think about it. Seriously, they write whole theories and stories about us and they are so damn detailed in their observations and sometimes they are so damn accurate I-", he stops and takes a last look at the still frozen Jeongguk before he suddenly shoots up, pushing the others legs away. "Aah, don't look at me like this, I was just making fun okay? We should go back and help the others clean up, we have to start practicing soon." Taehyung says, trying to sound casual, passing by Jeongguk quickly, head down. However, Jeongguk can't help but notice the others reddening cheeks.

What? Just what was this conversation?

He doesn't know what confuses him more. The fact that Tae is actually paying a lot of attention to people talking about their ship? That he apparently ready 'stories' about them? That he apparently ENJOYS THEM? Or the fact he seems to be REALLY affected by all of this? Thousand different scenarios swirl wildly around his head, unable to catch them and figure out what all of this means. The nervousness from yesterday is back again, but 100 times worse and in a way he has never experienced it before. He knows there is something, but he doesn't know what and he hates that.

"JEON JEONGGUK! MOVE YOUR LAZY *** HERE IMMEDIATELY, OR I'LL BLOCK YOUR DEVICES FROM THE WIFI WHEN WE GET BACK!" Jin screams on the top of his lungs, bringing Jeongguk successfully down to earth. It seems as if Jin called him several times already, judging by his expression and the fact that everyone else already left. "Oh damn, sorry Jin-hyung, I didn't hear you!", Jeongguk stands up and runs towards the older one. "Aaah really, what are you doing today, come back to your senses." he gives him a slight poke to the side of his belly. Jeongguk twitches, "Hey! I already said that I'm sorry!" "Yeah, yeah, whatever. This is for my poor throat.", he grins at the younger, entering the practice room first. As Jeongguk follows, he unconsciously scans the room for Taehyung, finding him standing next to Jimin, discussing something. Probably about the performance.

Jeongguk decides to let him be for now, at least until he sorted out his thoughts a little bit.

Except for Jeongguk worrying in between the performances, the afternoon goes by without anything special happening. Everyone is giving their best at rehearsing their stages, trying to bring them to perfection.

After 7 pm, they end their practices and naturally split up again. Yoongi and Namjoon head back to their studios, Hobi too has something he wants to work at. Jimin is staying behind with Jin to help him to refine some movements of their choreography, while Jeongguk - still panting and all sweaty from the practicing his own dance - sits down for a moment on a chair on the other end of the room to contemplate whether he should practice his individual performance once more or if he should give in to the lack of sleep and call it a day.

Just when he decides to give it one more go, Taehyung approaches him from the side - exhausted as well, asking "I think I'll head home, are you coming too?", Taehyung shoots him a questioning look. "Uhm, I wanted to rehearse Euphoria once more… You don't need to wait for me.", he didn't have time to organize todays conversation yet, so he can't help but sound a little uncomfortable.

Of course, Taehyung notices immediately, "About what I said today… I didn't mean to make you uneasy, so don't think about it too much. I was just joking. Really." Jeongguk wants to say it's fine, but on the other hand he really needs answers, even if he doesn't even know which answers he is searching for, so he just blurts out, "So you don't care about people talking about us as if we were together?" it feels weird saying something out loud to one of his best friends, especially because until now this has only felt like an impossible, fictional thing, trapped inside twitter. But now these words linger in the air heavily, catching an unprepared Taehyung, "I, uhm…" He pauses, with a concerned look, expecting the other to continue, but Taehyung answers eventually, "Not really. I mean, you can't avoid it… kind of." Jeongguk scans every reaction of the other. Now. Now is the time to ask what was bothering him the whole day, before the opportunity vanishes, "So I don't bother you with the fanservice in public?", Taehyung looks surprised again, but this time he doesn't look startled, just genuinely wondering why the other might come up with this idea, "What? Why do you think that?" his face goes back to a rather indifferent look "It's not even fanservice… It's what we always do, am I wrong?"

Jeongguk's feels a weight being lifted from his shoulders that had been there since yesterday. He still didn't figure the other conversation completely, but knowing the comment he was thinking about continuously was wrong is such good news right now, he forgets about everything else. His corners of his mouth go up into a smile - it might even be the fist sincere smile of the day - "No, you're right. I was just worried.", after hearing the others answer, Taehyung claps his hands together, "Then we're good! So are you coming after you're done practicing? I'll wait.", Taehyung takes another chair from behind and settles down in front of Jeongguk as if he'd say 'don't convince me otherwise'. Jeongguk answers with a lighthearted laugh "Yeah fine, I'll hurry!"

Taehyung watches Jeongguk practice his dance a few more times, observing his movements thoroughly while summing along to the song. After finishing, as promised they go home together, talking about unnecessary things and laughing about random jokes as if nothing has ever happened. Also after they finished their ramyun-dinner at home and parted into their separate rooms, Jeongguk doesn't want to waste another thought about his initial worries. The day has been too long and he feels is too relieved to dig up all the mess again.

So when he enters his room he falls straight into his bed with closed eyes and a loud sigh. 'Taehyung was right, they make you believe things that are not true,' he thinks and falls asleep with a light smile.

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