Let's Sleep Together

Jungguk pulled Namil through the front of his dorm, he was in between roommates at the moment so the bed on the other side was empty or he would have had to be very quiet since the only private space in the room with a door was the bathroom. He was lucky to have that option since the new student would be coming in a week. And these beds were tiny. There would be nowhere but the floor to sleep if he had a roommate.

Namil moaned and he pushed Namil onto the free bed, he fell ungracefully face first down onto it. Jungguk held back a snicker.

Namil groaned. “Mhhmm.” He rolled over and groaned even louder whining. “So hot!” He grumbled and sat back up.

Jungguk watched him and shook his head at his antics.

“So this is how you are when you are drunk hmm? Hugging people and whining. Looks like I didn’t miss much.” Jungguk leaned forward to flick Namil’s forehead to punish him. He wound up his fingers and flicked. Just as he did Namil opened his eyes and looked directly into his own.

“I love you Jungguk. And you are still doing these childish things?” Namil said without a single slur to his words.

Jungguk swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly felt so dry.

‘Did he just confess while he was drunk?’

Jungguk took a step back. “Are you still drunk? Are you crazy? You know, you are going to regret everything tomorrow.”

Namil scoffed. “Coward. Yes, I am drunk. But it doesn’t mean I am not telling the truth. I won’t ever lie about my feelings again. What’s it going to do? Ruin our friendship?” Namil laughed. “Pfft, we don’t have any sort of relationship anymore, there is nothing to ruin. So let me tell you this now, I’m going to sleep with you before I leave. Because I am not going to have any regrets anymore.” Namil said.

Jungguk scowled. “You’re drunk and an idiot. Go to sleep.” He turned to grab his pyjamas and felt Namil’s hands encircling his waist. Jungguk froze.

“Only if you sleep with me.” Namil said softly.

Jungguk’s heart quickened.

“Namil, are you crazy.” He said. He felt Namil nod.

“Mhhm, very crazy. Just like stubborn pig headed dummy Jungguk.” He said.

Jungguk pulled Namil’s arms off his waist and turned around. “Go get dressed in these.” He started but Namil lunged at him. Jungguk shoved his hand around Namil’s waist as they both fell down onto Jungguk’s bed. Jungguk’s free hand slid up and in front of Namil’s face just as his lips pressed down against where Jungguk’s were. Namil’s soft wet lips pressed onto the top of Jungguk’s hand and his fingers pressed into his own lips.

Jungguk breathed deeply frozen and unable to move. ‘This is what you have been thinking about for five years. You have been thinking about if you had just kissed him that night. And what it would be like. Why are you blocking it? You idiot. You both want to, just lower your hand.’ His brain screamed at him.

Namil opened his eyes and noticed he was kissing Jungguk’s hand. He pulled away his face contorting in anger and sat up so that he was straddling Jungguk atop his bed.

“You blocked it. You blockhead, why did you block it? Do you not want to kiss me?” Namil asked, looking hurt. “Am I still not good enough?”

Jungguk licked his lips and Namil focused on them immediately. He cleared his throat, but it was the wrong move, doing so caused his region to press up into Namil Exactly like he had purposefully been trying to avoid and Namil’s eyes went wide with shock as he felt it.

He smirked. And Jungguk thought his heart was going to explode.

Here was the guy he was in love with, dishevelled hair, ripped up jeans and a large fluffy sweater looking adorable and a mess at the same time. And he was sitting atop him smirking like he had just won a prize.

Jungguk shoved him off towards the wall and Namil fell to the bed with a giggle.

Jungguk straightened his dark blue shirt down over his black faded jeans.

“Sleep with me.” Namil said, but this time he distorted his voice so it was soft and seductive. The large fluffy cream sweater with its oval neckline slipped exposing Namil’s creamy shoulder below. Jungguk felt he would lose his mind if things kept going this way.

“Namil you are drunk and I don’t want our first anything to be while drunk. So just get into those pyjamas okay?” he said, doing his best to control his voice so that his desperation wouldn’t show.

Namil smirked, then rubbed his blonde hair the way he always did when he was happy about something. It fluffed and floated around his head.

‘Damn it I forgot how seethrough he is with his likes and intentions. I missed him.’ He looked down at the ground.

“Okay, tomorrow, I will wait only until tomorrow but then you have to kiss me.” Namil said clearly.

Jungguk felt like he had been shot through the heart. “Yah, Lee Namil, are you dying tomorrow? Why do I have to do everything tomorrow?” He grumbled.

Namil didn’t answer. Jungguk looked back up at him.

He was staring at him, his eyes filled with tears.

“Say it again.” Namil whispered.

“Say what?” Jungguk asked flustered by how sweet and fluffy Namil looked.

“Call for me again.”

Jungguk tilted his head and he felt tears well up in the corner of his eye and this time a tear dropped. “Lee Namil, he said, enunciating it slowly.” Namil clambered onto his knees and reached out then pulled Jungguk by his shirt until their heads had hit together. But he had done it so gently it hadn’t hurt.

He took soft slow breaths, his eyes closed. “I missed you Jungguk.” He whispered.

Jungguk closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. That fresh apple sweet smell that always followed Namil filled his nostrils. It felt like home.

“I missed you too.” He whispered back. After a minute of neither of them saying anything he opened his eyes to see Namil had already opened his. It suddenly felt very awkward to be so close. He tried to pull away.

“Just give me one more minute like this and I will be good and go to sleep.”

Jungguk swallowed but closed his eyes, after a second he said. “Fine but you have to be a good boy and go to sleep.”

Namil’s soft chuckle floated like chimes into his ear. It made him happy that Namil had gotten the joke.

“Fine, I will be good.” Namil said.

A minute later he let go and Jungguk heard and felt Namil grab the pyjamas from off the bed and crawl off the bed. It wasn't until a minute had passed that he opened his eyes and got up again.

Jungguk stood in his bedroom feeling shaken to the core. He felt like all the pain he had been holding onto for five years had been released. ‘Could this be it? Could they start anew tomorrow? Maybe as something more than friends?’

Jungguk hurried and changed into pants. He paused as he was pulling his shirt off. Normally he would sleep shirtless. ‘Would that be okay with Namil around?’ he suddenly felt shy at the idea even though they used to all the time before.

The bathroom door opened and Namil stepped out and started when he noticed Jungguk’s state of dress.

He licked his lips and Jungguk blushed. “Yah, where are you looking?” Jungguk asked flustered.

Namil smirked and sucked in his bottom lip while his eyes ran up and down Jungguk’s toned muscles

“Just sleep how you normally would. I promised to behave, when have I ever broken my promises.” Namil said saucily. Jungguk swallowed twice his throat feeling more parched than before.

“Only once.” Jungguk said softly. Namil’s smile faded, and his face filled with sadness.

“Mhmm only once..” Namil agreed as he climbed into the bed opposite of Jungguk’s. Jungguk didn’t say anything else but walked over to shut off the light. He crawled into his own bed. The darkness surrounded them both and the sound of Namil’s familiar breathing made him feel happier than he had in a really long time. Jungguk closed his eyes and just listened to that soft and safe familiar sound as the darkness enveloped him. He was just starting to get sleepy when he felt Namil crawl onto the bed.

Jungguk sighed. “I thought you were going to be good.”

Namil sighed and his breath tickled Jungguk’s ear.

“The bed isn’t big enough for both of us.” He said without opening his eyes. Worried if he did he would turn over and really kiss Namil for real.

“Liar. It’s big enough.” Namil shoved himself into pressing his entire body around Jungguk’s so he was spooning his back, he placed his chin on Jungguk's shoulder.

“See we both fit now.”

Jungguk smiled. He should have known better, hadn’t they become friends because they were both troublemakers.

“You said you would be good.” He said, trying to hide his happiness.

“Mhhhm, I will be good, just let me sleep with you like this since you won’t give me my way.” Namil said.

Jungguk shivered from his breath. “Fine, but try anything funny and I’ll go sleep over there.” Jungguk said.

Namil chuckled. “No,” He paused. “Actually if you do I can still cuddle your blankets they will still smell like you.”

Jungguk smirked. 'Idiot.' He thought Namil moved and Jungguk realised he was going to die if he had to keep feeling Namil’s breath on his ear and feel his whole body pressed against his all night. He turned on the spot so as not to push Namil off the bed. Carefully pulling his body so that it was against the wall far away so that only their feet and faces were close.

Namil blinked at him now that they were face to face.

Jungguk grabbed his head and pressed it into his chest so that he couldn’t do that anymore knowing the trouble that would cause if it continued.

“Go to sleep now,” he ordered. Jungguk closed his eyes again hoping for the life of him that his heart would slow back down and let him sleep. There was silence for a while.

“Finally.” Namil said, breaking it.

“Finally what?” Jungguk asked sleepily.

“Your heart is finally racing when you hold me. It’s never raced once in all the times I have held you before.” Namil said, sounding sad.

Jungguk smiled. “How would you know.”

Namil sighed. “Because it’s all I have been listening to and hoping to hear for years. But your heart has always been steady no matter what.”

Jungguk sucked in a breath so he wouldn’t laugh, especially since Namil sounded absolutely heartbroken.

“You’re an idiot. My heart is always racing when I am with you. Every time you held me, you couldn’t hear my heart rate change or hear me get excited because it was already fast enough to have a heart attack the moment I saw your face. You have never heard my regular heartbeat and you probably never will. Now go to sleep.”

“Oh,” Namil replied quietly. A few seconds later something wet dropped onto Jungguk’s shirt. Jungguk sighed.

‘What are we going to do? How is this going to end if we are both idiots?’  he sighed happily and drifted off to sleep listening to Namil’s soft peaceful breathing.

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