the first night

something that can't be ignored ...the story that can't be unheard...the feelings that can't be removed ... too realistic to think of it as just a dream...

I tied the ponytail. After some time I loose it to down of hair. But then the rest of hair come out with the rubber band when I tried to untie my hair.Like someone cut off my hair.

I was scared. What happened? Why such hairfall? I didn't use any

restricted product.

Then I realise something is wrong. My hair started to fall off like someone is cutting it off. I unlocked my door and went to my brother and my mother. I told them my hair is falling off.

My brother joked. But the moment turned to serious when my mom realised that my hair was being cut without touching it and it was falling down in the white floor of our room. My mom touched my hair. We three were shocked actually.

Then... I started to behave strangely... It's not like I wanted it but it just that I couldn't control. I could see everything blurry. My head was down . The way my brother looked at me I can assume that my eyes were changing. My hair was continuously still falling off. I feel like I wanted to explain my brother and mother not to be scared of me. But I don't think I could do it. My mother asked what's wrong ? Why I em behaving like that. Then I wake up. Heart beats so fast that your bed feels like moving. In my bed. It's 3 AM now. It was just a dream I guess. Or just my sleep paralysis.

My psychological condition is getting worse.

I was fine actually. But now I'm shaking in the fear of losing of something precious. Yes, my privacy.

I think I'm crazy about my privacy. I'm being insane. someone is trying to disturb it. I'm madly keep saying that I'll kill. I'll kill.

Do I trust myself? I know I'm sure I can't kill anyone, right?... Right?

I am not worth anything.

I was so happy last days. But parents can't see me Happy. I don't deserve to be happy. I was so happy and taking God's name. but I don't know what is wrong with me now. I am again shaking.

now I'm gonna write about someone. She is someone important. I really want to write about her... about her personality cause I'm craving to have some empathy for her. which is becoming more and more impossible these days.

It is her. Mina.

she was born in a poor family. You can say a pathetic condition.

In the time of her birth, there was already a lot of sisters waiting for her at home. As the old Indian myth, people back then really never wanted to have a child with gender female and unfortunately they had already so many daughters. They didn't want her. Her family decided to give away her to someone in the exchange of of a little money. Then some astrologer said that if her parents keep her they will be blessed with a baby boy in next few years. They were excited about the son so they convinced themselves to keep the girl child (Mina).

As we can see her life was pretty pathetic since beginning.

now she growing up... but the parents never really want to educate her well... she was never treated equally as her brother that was born after her birth as the astrologers said. The discrimination was heartbreaking. But still she had the chance willpower to do something in life. to earn her own money. to have her own car. to have a house.

She worked hard. It was pretty hard. also her father passed away. Though her mother was really a strong character. She alone raised all the children without begging.

Mina was pretty successful . she had her car. her house. as she wanted.

she didn't get the love she deserves from her parents. never.

But here she got married to a nice guy. that is the most positive point.

But... happiness doesn't last forever.

She had a daughter within a year after getting married.

and a beloved son after 3 years.

The daughter was growing a psycho as time goes on.

she never treated her mother correctly. she was always angry..

she had become a freaky whiny teenager. Mina was depressed. she never got the love she deserved as a daughter and now she has a psyco daughter who doesn't know how to treat people. she acts like a depressed introvert who hates people always in her room. she not only hate her mother but also hates herself it's not like she is into some guy. but she is someone who never deserves love. she is torturing her own mother. such a irrational freak. never feel sorry for her mother. a psyco. I hate her. she deserves to die.

then one day she suicide.good for her.

but... the father (Mina's husband) was heartbroken. so was Mina. the whole family was crying. or maybe tears of happiness.? no one should care about that freak. she should have died earlier. no one cares she is living or dying in that room alone it doesn't matter to anyone.

now again Mina was hurt.

whyyyy.? I hate when people hurt her. I LOVE HER.

she is Good ... I guess...

why she always gets hurt... she doesn't deserve such daughter. please God take away Mina's daughter's life. give Mina some love. some peace in her life.

that's all I want to tell you about Mina.

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