chapter 1

Dazai and Chuuya are quiet babies, as Atsushi and Akutagawa quickly learn. They don’t cry much and they keep themselves entertained. They’re particularly fascinated by the latches on their car seats.

“I don’t like your office,” Akutagawa says as he parks the car.

“Yeah, well, we don’t have much of a choice. Here, put this on.”

Akutagawa stares at Dazai’s coat. “Why?”

“Because you’re wearing a sparkly unicorn T-shirt and I know you’d rather die than let anyone else see you in it.”

Akutagawa snatches the coat from Atsushi and gets out of the car to put it on while Atsushi opens the back door to get Dazai out.

“Osamu!” Atsushi cries and Dazai giggles like the little shit he is.

Akutagawa opens the other back door to look at Atsushi across the car. “What happened?”

“He unbuckled himself!”

Akutagawa snickers as he unbuckles Chuuya and lifts him out of the car. “Sounds like him.”

“That’s annoying. We’ll have to duct tape him to the seat if we go anywhere.”

Akutagawa thinks it would be nice to go somewhere, but he doesn’t say so. “Chuuya, stop eating my hair.”

...----------------...

Chuuya does not stop. Akutagawa sighs. Atsushi snickers — until Dazai tries to eat Atsushi’s T-shirt.

“You have got to be joking,” Kunikida says when Atsushi enters the office with Dazai, Akutagawa following with Chuuya.

“I really wish we were,” Atsushi says.

“They’re so cute,” Yosano coos. “Look at his little waistcoat!”

Dazai gurgles happily when Yosano approaches and Atsushi all but dumps him in her arms. Chuuya regards the spectacle with a bored look before turning and trying to shove Akutagawa’s hair in his mouth again.

“Did you call everyone?” Atsushi asks Kunikida, who surprisingly turns slightly pink.

“We all woke up to the sound of ‘what do you mean, they turned into ******* babies’ and decided to tag along.”

Akutagawa snickers at Kyoka’s attempt to sound like Kunikida. Dazai laughs when Kyoka raises her voice and shouts.

“Aren’t you adorable,” Yosano says, tickling his tummy. “Yes, you are!”

“I’m never gonna look at Dazai the same ever again,” Tanizaki says, yawning mid-sentence.

Chuuya looks over at Atsushi and when he realises Atsushi is no longer holding Dazai, he lets go of Akutagawa’s hair to lean towards Atsushi, arms outstretched.

“Good riddance,” Akutagawa mutters as Atsushi takes Chuuya. “Go eat his hair.”

Chuuya doesn’t try to eat Atsushi’s hair. He stares at Atsushi’s face for a moment before he yawns and drops his head on Atsushi’s shoulders.

“Aww,” Kyoka and Kenji say.

Kunikida drags a hand down his face. “Well . . . Did they happen to tell you which way the kid went?”

“Chuuya-nii was too busy yelling at us to get there,” Akutagawa says.

“Hey,” Naomi says from where she’s hanging on to her brother’s arm with her droopy eyes half closed. She yawns before she continues. “How come Dazai got affected too?”

...to be continued....

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