chapter one

I don't know when it started but I had a very strange feeling as if i don't let it out ,one day it will consume me. I know it's strange but this feeling make me think that I am alive.

every being, living or non living present on earth have it specific reason,as non living it don't have to suffer the pain for searching it meaning or reason to be present as they already found it . so that leave us , living beings most are unable to understand eachother even if some can it will gradually lead to the confusing state . And some beings like us (human) we search all our life about the reason for living or being alive that we even forget to live . we regret many things in our life that we become more far away from the truth of the world. we have emotions that leads to feeling which makes us more confuse . we think that we must be thankful that we are alive but is it really a blessing to be alive or its just that we have emotions that makes us believe that we are must be thankful for feeling all things like being love , hate , anger, kind ,happy... Things like a rock or sand or anything that is not alive ,we believe that they don't have any emotions or its just that they are not lucky enough like us but is it really that they unlucky or they are lucky enough that doesn't have to experience the regret of being alive and not finding the reason,, or is it that they already found the reason and they choose it as it the real propose of it.

I know all of this sounds like 3am thought and it's,we all think about it but everyone decides to ignore it as it's not reasonable or thoughtless thought. Even if anyone trust to think more about it ,they either lose their minds or decided to stop it as it may cause harm to them as if something is stopping us from thinking it or go more deeper.

As we think about it , it's like searching for something that is nothing or lost.

if we think more deeper,we feel like we are lossing ourselves and going to some place that we are afraid to get in and afraid of not getting out. As we think and then we suddenly stop as our instinct tell us that the things that lie under it or we will unable to face the truth.So we stop it ,as our most instinct take chances to survive than to face the death .

As living beings we all know we have to die someday but we afraid from it,we may think knowing the truth is great but we are mostly afraid of the truth than lie or not knowing it . so we never force ourselves to find the truth,we just try our most to stop it from finding us .

The things that stop us from finding the truth of the world is no other than us ,so that we can live in peace as we are not ready or don't want it to hear or find it .

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