chapter 4

“Why is it dark here

There’s no you in this place

It’s dangerous how wrecked I am

Save me because I can’t get a

Grip on myself”

Jungkook and Emma were watching a movie on their couch eating some popcorn together. It had been a week since Jungkook had been working at the hospital, and he liked it. Of course he had his tough crazy days with patients and Taehyung, but he was slowly getting adjusted to it, not by much, but as each day went by.

Emma sighed and turned to face Jungkook. “I hardly see you at all these days. I know you’re working hard, but our hours are not making time for us to be like this for long. Do you think you can switch to mornings instead? So we can be together longer during the night.”

Jungkook thought about it for a minute. Maybe he could switch his hours around, maybe. He really didn’t get to spend much time with Emma, that was true. “I’ll talk to my boss and see what he sa-“ He stopped himself and thought of Taehyung being alone all night by himself, he didn’t like that thought. Taehyung was always smiling and waiting for him as if he knew exactly when he got to work. Almost like a puppy waiting for its master to return home. He smiled at the thought of him, he could be adorable at times, and then turn into something else the next minute, but overall he was happy.

“Why are you smiling? Are you not going to talk to your boss?” Emma asked looking at him puzzled. She really hoped that he would just move to mornings, or at least just tried to. She didn’t want to continue the relationship like this at all, since there was no time spent together. The most time she got to be with him was at least two to three hours a day, that’s it. He worked very long hours and wouldn’t come home till about three in the morning sometimes. She was slowly getting fed up with it. She loved him very much, but at the same time she couldn’t handle the loneliness she felt.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck and said, “Actually…there’s this boy I met. His name is Kim Taehyung…he’s a patient…and w-“

Emma cut in saying, “So, you’re hesitating because of a boy? A patient? So now you talk to the loony guys, huh?”

“Don’t say that about him, there’s more to him that even I can’t understand. You should just see the way his eyes light up when I show up. He’s a lonely guy who needs a friend, that’s all,” Jungkook said, hoping she’ll realize he’s just trying to do what he can to help the boy.

Emma scoffed, “So basically, you’re saying, **** my loneliness, and you’d rather stay with a psycho patient, and help his needs. Am I correct?” She couldn’t believe where her own boyfriend’s priorities lie at a time like this.

“What?” Jungkook didn’t know what she was trying to say. All he knew was that he thought she would understand him. He didn’t think helping a young boy would seriously jeopardize his relationship. He loved her and just wanted to help someone who seemed like he was much happier than other times. “He needs a friend!!!” he said try to reason with her.

“And I need my boyfriend! Can’t you understand that?” Emma began to cry and hugged Jungkook. “Please change your hours for me?”

Jungkook bit his inner cheek and said, “Fine. I’ll try. Just…just don’t cry.” He hugged her and thought how it would affect Taehyung if he didn’t see him at night anymore, just during the day behind the locked door. He closed his eyes and tried forgetting the smile he produced every time the boy saw him.

“Thank you baby, thank you so much. I really appreciate it,” she sniffed as she wiped her tears. She was glad Jungkook was going to make their relationship work. She knew that he loved her so much, he was just always busy with work, that’s why he hesitated. He always did have a good heart to towards her and others, it’s one of the reasons why she fell in love with him.

Jungkook was sweep dusting the floors and he heard Jin’s voice in the Taehyung’s room. He swept a bit faster to hear what was going on, so he peeked in and saw Jin having a session with Taehyung, trying to open up about his past. He just saw Taehyung staring at the wall stroking his doll’s hair in silence. He watched Jin sigh and rub the bridge of nose and held his fingers there for a few seconds before removing them, and asking Taehyung if he was comfortable to open up about anything, anything at all. Again, Taehyung just stared without saying anything.

“Can you tell me about your baby? Why do you need her?” the doctor asked. Jin knew it was going to be a sensitive topic, but he tried so hard to help the boy, and it just seemed like he didn’t want to be helped at all.

Taehyung turned his face sharply looking at Jin and stared at him. In a split second the boy started to scream then ran to the door and slammed his body against it. Jungkook got scared and jumped back as he saw Taehyung just run and hit the door in a sudden movement then locking eyes with him in the process. Pain. Jungkook saw so much pain in his eyes. Jungkook turned around not looking in the window, and pretended like he didn’t see what just happened. As he continued to sweep dust the floors he heard the chilling cries of the boy.

During the night he didn’t see the boy come out of his room, and hoped he was okay. He checked the hall where Taehyung slept and went walking to his room. He peered in the window and saw Taehyung rocking back and forth holding onto his knees on the cold hard floor with his baby tucked into bed, just right behind him. Jungkook wanted to reach out to him, but figured it was a bad idea since he didn’t know what state of mind he was in at the moment.

He began to turn away from the door, when he suddenly sneezed and it echoed throughout the hallway. He cursed to himself and began to walk down the hall quickly. He was just going to avoid the third hall tonight to let the boy have his time to himself, but as quickly as was trying to get out of the hall he heard footsteps running towards him.

He turned around and saw Taehyung running at him with his doll by his side getting dragged along with him. Jungkook turned his back to him and stood still. He heard the footsteps slowed down, and silence once again fell in the hall. Jungkook walked to get his cart to start cleaning the recreation room. When he got to the room he looked around the mess that everyone left behind. He started to pick up puzzle pieces, game pieces and random stuff off the floor with his gloves on.

Taehyung kept getting up and sitting at every chair that was closest to Jungkook every time he moved around the room. Jungkook knew the boy had grew a friendship with him without anything to amount to it. Jungkook continued to ignore him and kept his business the same way as usual, but a silent unspeakable bond was formed through the course of a few days.

Jungkook was now cleaning the tables while Taehyung sat right next to him just staring at his face. At first he was very uncomfortable, but got used to it since that’s all Taehyung pretty much did. He turned his back to the boy and went to clean another table, and again Taehyung got up and sat at the one he was cleaning at. This time Taehyung was looking at the classic old movies with a wide grin. He made his baby comfortable in front of him making her watch T.V with him.

Jungkook started wiping the chairs with a wet cloth when he heard loud banging on the table. It was Taehyung, just violently banging his head hard against the table, scaring Jungkook. He didn’t know what do at first, but it kicked in to run and call for a nurse who could help him. He was afraid of touching him still and saying his name.

He ran up to the boy and said, “Stop! Please! You’re going to end up hurting yourself more!!!” Jungkook panicked, but Taehyung didn’t seem to hear him. He didn’t know why the boy wasn’t screaming or crying, with all that force he was doing to himself, he just had his eyes wide open and continued to assault his head.

Jimin came running in and immediately placed his palm under Taehyung’s head from damaging it any further. He winced and hissed as the boy continued to pound into his hand and tried to hold his shoulder up from coming down forward onto the table. Yoongi ran in a few seconds later and grabbed him by the shoulders to sit him up. Taehyung didn’t scream at the contact this time, he just was looking lost as his eyes where glossy.

The nurses picked him up and gave Jungkook a ‘sorry’ look. Jimin grabbed the baby doll and both nurses guided the boy back to his room. Jungkook didn’t know what just happened, he was smiling watching T.V one second...and…what? Jungkook looked at the T.V and saw the movie that was playing. It showed a small family playing around outside chasing each other and playing games. There was nothing unusual about it though, maybe it just was another random episode he had. Jungkook felt bad for seeing the boy the way he did today and kind of missed him by his side throughout the night. He got used to the boy happily following him, and now he felt like he was incomplete at work. He then thought about Emma and her request to see if he can move to mornings, or maybe switch with someone from the daytime shift.

Jungkook went to find Jin to talk to him about if he could talk to the person in charge, to see about changing his shift. He saw him standing in the middle of the second hall looking over papers. “Um, Jin, I wanted to see about changing my hours to morning. If you can see if it’s possible! If not, I understand.”

Jin looked at him with brows furrowed. “Why? Is there something wrong with the night time shift?”

Jungkook shook his head fast saying, “Oh no, no! It’s that.” Jungkook couldn’t believe what he was about to say. Seemed like such a lame excuse to use his girlfriend, but he didn’t know what else to say. “Um…my girlfriend is having issues with me about not spending time with her, and um..”

“And you feel like she’s going to leave you over it,” Jin cut in.

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly. “I’m so sorry, but like I said, if not, it’s okay with me.” Jungkook didn’t want to be moved he was hoping Jin would just say sorry, no can do.

Jin rubbed his chin thinking about it. “I might be able to see what I can do. I’ll let you know tomorrow okay?”

“Oh...oh...okay, that’s fine,” he said not really thrilled about it. He walked away from Jin and rubbed his face with his hands while thinking of Taehyung. He knew the boy would be fine without him, if it came down to it. Jungkook knew he couldn’t stay by his side forever, even though thinking about forever seemed nice.

Emma was getting ready to leave to work and Jungkook was still sleeping in. She started shaking Jungkook to wake up. “Babe!...Babe! Did you talk to your boss?”

Jungkook groaned and covered his head with his pillow. He was so fucking tired after getting home so late he didn’t want to wake up right now, but his girlfriend kept shaking him hard to wake up. “He’ll let me know today, now let me sleep.”

Emma smiled and spanks his ***. “Thank you babe, I’m leaving now. I’ll see you when you get home. I love you! Bye.” Emma closed their bedroom door as she left, and Jungkook tossed and turned.

He couldn’t go back to sleep. He laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. His mind immediately went to Taehyung. He didn’t know why the boy consumed his thoughts every chance he got. He thought of boy as a little brother, and seeing him hurt and full of pain bothered him a lot. He didn’t like the way he was hurting deep down inside. He wanted to talk to him, to try to know more about him, but he didn’t know the first step on how to do it. He groaned and tried to go back to sleep before he had to work again.

Not even ten seconds later his phone rings. He begins to reach around for it on the dresser and looks at the caller ID

“Hello?”

“Jungkook, its Jin.”

“Hey Jin! How can I help you?”

“Can you come into work right now? I know you worked all night, but someone agreed to work your late night shifts.”

Jungkook thought he was dreaming. This is happening so suddenly, he expected to at least see Taehyung one last time by his side if anything…not leaving him like this. “Oh, yeah, sure. I’ll get ready right now.”

“Awesome! See you in a bit, Jungkook! Bye!

“Bye.” Jungkook sat up was not looking forward to working alone with no one by his side.

Jungkook was taking out the trash from each bedroom and room down the halls. He had to wear a face mask and gloves just to remove each trash bag, since anything could be in there that he didn’t want to smell or touch. Jungkook worked his way down the third hall and reached Taehyung’s room. Jimin gave him permission to enter Taehyung’s room, since Taehyung had not acted out violently against Jungkook in a while.

Jungkook slowly unlocked his door and saw the boy sleeping peacefully cuddling his baby doll closely. Jungkook walked closer to him and smiled, then frowned at the bruised up forehead that showed as his hair fell sideways as he slept. He quietly got a trash bag and tried not to open it too loudly since he knew the boy slept in the mornings and was up all night.

When he was almost putting a new liner in he turned around and saw Taehyung sitting up on his bed just looking at him. Jungkook looked away and walked towards the door.

“Kookie?” Taehyung spoke.

Jungkook stood still, knowing he couldn’t say or do anything. Just listened.

“Is it night time already? I think I over slept then.” Taehyung got up with a smile and grabbed his baby. “Wait for me, I want to walk with you!” he said happily. “Oh hold on! I’ll be right back!” Taehyung went to wash up and brush his hair, he didn’t want to look or feel gross around his new friend.

Taehyung smiled as he looked at himself in the mirror and quickly brushed his baby’s hair and left the restroom. He didn’t see Jungkook so he turned the knob to go and find him. It was locked. Taehyung panicked at bit and looked outside his window, he saw other people walking around and knew something was not right. Taehyung was slowly losing it as he stayed stuck again and alone. He quickly tried to scan the halls to find Jungkook, but he couldn’t see him.

“Kookie!” he shouted. His eyes filled with tears as his heart began to hurt.“KOOKIE!!??” He left him. Taehyung began pounding violently on the door screaming and crying, he felt so many emotions run through his body that he couldn’t feel no more pain.

Jungkook wiped his tears, it was hard for him to see and hear him, but he couldn’t let the boy be attached anymore. Taehyung was going to have to get used to him not being with him anymore. Maybe he’ll become attached to the other nighttime janitor or something. No matter how much he was hurting, he had to work on his own relationship with his girlfriend. Jungkook locked himself in his supply closet and cried, trying to let out all the guilt he was feeling towards his new friend he grew to care about.

After his shift was over he walked to the front desk where another nurse he didn’t know from the day shift, and Jimin were talking. He overheard Jimin talking about Taehyung bruising up his whole body when he found him laying down on the floor. Jungkook walked up to Jimin and asked if the boy was okay. He didn’t mean to be nosey, but he didn’t want Taehyung to do such things to himself.

Jimin looked a little bit upset with Jungkook and said, “He keeps calling for you. He keeps saying your name over and over.” Jimin sighed and placed a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “I think he will be okay after a few days…he’s just broken right now, but he’ll be okay. Don’t think too much of it.”

“Can I go see him?” Jungkook asked quickly. He didn’t want him broken, even though he knew one way or another he was going to be. He just couldn’t face it after hearing he hurt himself over it.

“It’s better if you don’t. You won’t be seeing much of him anyways since he’s always locked up. Even if you clean his room up, it won’t be every day. Plus…he’ll want to be stuck to you, and he can’t do that in the day.” Jimin saw Jungkook a bit upset, but it was true what he said. The boy was his strong point and to leave him knowing that, even hurt him as well. He saw Taehyung smile more and was more aware of things than ever before. Now, he was going to be back to being closed up and walking alone the halls at night.

“Please Jimin! Let me just look at him one last time, and I promise I won’t bother him again! I just…want to see him and apologize! I won’t say anything, all I have to do I is just stand there and he could understand me for some reason! Please! I feel so bad.” Jungkook held back his tears as he gripped his heart. All this for his girlfriend, and he was just torn about everything.

Jimin looked and him and gave in. “Fine, but not more than five minutes. Go.”

Jungkook weaved in and out of the patients and ignore the jabs some of them gave him along the way. He walked down the third hall and walked past a person who was kissing the wall and licking it up and down. He grimaced at the action that was going on…and was glad he wasn’t going to be the one to clean it up that night.

He walked up to Taehyung’s door and peered inside. He saw the boy laying down facing the wall. Jungkook hands began to shake a little from being so nervous. He didn’t really know how Taehyung would react, but he needed the boy to know that he was sorry about everything.

When he unlocked the door he opened it up, and closed the door slowly behind him. He grabbed a chair that was on the other side of the wall and had put it next to Taehyung’s bed. He watched Taehyung shift around in bed and turned his body to face him. Jungkook dropped his gaze to the floor and waited for Taehyung to speak. He heard Taehyung whimper and move closer to the edge of the bed where he was at. “Kookie?” he said sadly.

Jungkook just sat there looking down.

“Did you leave me already?” the boy asked. “Everyone left me. Everyone I grew to love…they all left me alone to hurt,” Taehyung said as his tears flowed down his face.

Jungkook’s tears began to fall on their own down to the hard floor. He was beginning to see where his hurt was at. He was not better than other people that left him like this. Jungkook was about to break down from all the guilt and all the pain he was feeling in his heart. He stood up to leave, and felt something he never thought would ever happen.

A small pinch on his pants from the young boy. As far as he knew, Taehyung never touched anyone, except his doll. Never made contact with a soul on his own for three years. And now, here he was a small pinch…a pinch that said thousand words.

Jungkook knew from that touch, and that touch alone, Taehyung needed him.

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