chapter 1

"I want to breathe, I hate this night

I want to wake up, I hate this dream"

Jungkook got home and opened the bedroom door, smiling brightly at his girlfriend, Emma who was sitting on her bed reading a celebrity gossip magazine. “Guess what? I got a job!” He held his arms opened and Emma excitedly got off the bed and embraced him in a tight hold. “I’m so happy for you sweetheart!” she said, smiling against his shoulder.

They’ve been living together for three months and all things were going good, until Jungkook’s job had to let go of employee’s due to low sales. Jungkook struggled to get another job and was getting stressed that no one was giving him call backs, plus the bills were stacking up. He didn’t want to struggle, he wanted to get a good paying job, and work long hours so they wouldn’t have to suffer because he couldn’t but his half in. He was the man of the house, he should be able to provide for him and his girlfriend’s needs. Yes Emma had a job, but Jungkook didn’t want only her to contribute while he waited around.

Now that he had got a job it was such big exciting news. It wasn’t the best job, but it paid really good. The hours were exactly what he wanted also. “It’s at the Psychiatric hospital and the p-“ he began to say before he was cut off.

“-You mean mental hospital?” Emma grimaced. She wasn’t sure if she liked that. Crazy people everywhere was just creepy.

Jungkook nibbled on his lip and said, “They’re just people with problems, who need help with whatever they are dealing with, I assume. I don’t know. I never worked at one before so I don’t know what to expect. Besides I’m just a janitor anyways, it’s not like I’m going to take care of them. I just have to clean and that’s it.” Jungkook saw the worried expression in his girlfriend’s eyes. “I will be fine. Trust me,” he said rubbing his hands up and down her arms trying to soothe her.

He didn’t think much of it anyways. It was a good paying job, and that’s all that he focused on. It really didn’t dawn on him that he’d be working around crazy people, since he figured they were pretty much under control with meds. So things like being scared or crept out by people of the sort didn’t faze him.

“I get paid eighteen dollars an hour, so it will be a big help to us. It’s a lot more pay than the last job I had, and I just have to scrub floors, and so on and so on.” Jungkook made it sound easy. ‘Just cleaning’ but he knew that it was going to be a lot of work that he hoped he could keep up with it.

I guess. The pay is good though, so I should be happy. Just please keep aware of your surroundings, okay? If they’re in there for a reason they could flip out and I don’t want to take it out on you since you’ll be around them.” Emma kissed her boyfriend. “Congrats though,” she said not all that happy with him.

“Hi, my name is Jeon Jungkook, and it’s my first day here,” he said to a man who looked just a few years older than him. He watched the man furrowed his eyebrows, and then noticing him snap at something. “That’s right! You’re the new janitor. My name is Jin by the way. One of the doctor’s in charge of here. Come on, let’s show you around and I’ll show exactly what you’re going to be doing.” Both males walked down a long hallway that Jungkook couldn’t help but feel like he was trapped. All the walls were bright white; almost blinding. He noticed blood spots as he glanced at the walls as he followed the doctor. He knew he was going to have to clean that up as well, but he didn’t understand why there was blood to begin with.

They turned down another hall with white halls as well, but this hallway seemed a bit scary. The huge fluorescent lights that were above one the ceiling were dimmed down a softer shade and a few of the light bulbs flickered. He looked in front of Jin and saw a few patients in gowns roaming freely as if they owned the hallway. Jungkook suddenly felt chills down his spine. He didn’t know what caused it, but he felt someone staring at him and it made him felt uneasy.

“Now don’t be scared of them, they are harmless while they are on their meds. They will have a few episodes, but we have plenty of staff here to keep them at bay. You won’t be working these halls though,” Jin said as he rounded another corner and came in front of two large doors.

“Now,” he said looking at Jungkook. “I’m going to go over this quickly for you so please keep everything I say in mind. Behind these doors is all you have to clean. It’s four long hallways that have rooms for all the patients, and the main desk is right behind these doors, so you can always ask for help from any nurse or doctor here. We do have a room for employees and a few other rooms that our patients are allowed to use. I’ll show you those once we walk inside. Now, this ward here is the where we keep patients who are very, very hard to handle. You can say they are like the bad kids in a school, but we have nurses and doctors ‘round the clock here, much more than any other place to keep them under control. They do tend to go more crazy with little triggers so please…no eye contact. None. No communication whatsoever. No anything. We had plenty of janitors quit due to this reason here; behind these doors.” Jin watched as Jungkook looked a bit uneasy, but managed to squeak out an "ok". “You will be getting a badge in a bit, and it will open the doors all over the hospital. Make sure you never to lose it.”

Jungkook watched as Jin got his badge out and slid the card through a reader, and a light flashed green. Jin smiled and look at Jungkook as he opened the door. Jungkook felt nothing but dread and fear as the doors opened. He swallowed hard as they made their way into the long hallway. The walls were not as bright. They were dirty brown with blood stains in more places than before. He saw a guy talking to a wall, then start pushing it like he wanted to start a fight with it, then started pointing at it yelling obscene words. Jin walked briskly over to the man and escorted him away from the wall and to the side bench that was placed outside the hall.

A male nurse came out from a room and apologized to Jin and said something about giving a dose to a patient who had a breakdown. Jin patted his shoulder, and said something to him nodding Jungkook’s way. Both males came toward him. “Jungkook, this is one of the nurses you’ll be seeing a lot more often, his name is Jimin,” Jin said.

“Hi Jimin, I’m Jungkook. I hope we can work well together,” Jungkook says. “I really want to work here since I really need the job, so please look after for me.”

Jimin giggled, “I won’t let anything really violent happen to you. Sometimes their attacks are sudden, but I promise there are plenty of people here to protect you.” Jungkook gave a nervous smile. He sure hoped so.

“I trust I’m in good hands with you. Thank you, Jimin.” Jimin shook his hand and excused himself to treat other patients.

“Now let’s finish the tour here, then I’ll show you where the supply closet is at. And by supply closet, I mean a good size room just for you and all your equipment,” Jin smiled at him. They continued to walk down the halls that were filthy with dirt and some stuff that looked like mud or was it….Jungkook scrunched his nose in disgust and was not looking forward to cleaning up the place anymore.

Jin stopped at a big open spaced room full of tables that contained games on them, as well as multiple T.V’s that hung way up high so no one could reach it. The TV’s played either old classic movies or cartoons. That was it. No TV shows that were being shown as of today, or news to keep them updated about the world outside, just simple in the box stuff. Of course no one was paying attention anyways.

“This is their recreation room. They can come in here and play games, sit and stare, or watch TV. No rules for them, except to behave and all that good stuff.

Anyways just be careful when you clean in here when it’s packed. I would prefer at night time when they are all in their rooms and sleeping.” Jin leaned against the door frame and looked at everyone to make sure no one was going to act up. So far, so good. “Now to the next place,” Jin said pushing himself off the frame and began walking with Jungkook who stayed quiet through it all.

After a few more places that Jin had shown him, they rounded two more halls that had patients crowding the walkways. It was the darkest hall of them all, almost scary as death itself. He gulped and just looked at the hall and wished it ended already.

Jungkook noticed some lights above their heads were not working, he was going to have to replace those as well. Down the hall he heard someone crying loudly. He looked to Jin to see if he was going to react, but he didn’t. He just kept walking normally, and zig-zag away from a crowd that was stuck in one place. Jungkook looked down at the floor as he tried following Jin close behind. He heard someone behind him chomping their teeth near his ear. He ducked his head and walked a bit faster.

His heart was beating faster than usual. This was something he never could have pictured. He was now doubting taking on the job. No wonder it was such good pay, it was a tough job to put up with. He made sure he kept the doctor’s view in front of him, and was glad to be out the group of people that freaked him out. The cry he heard was now louder, like if someone was torturing him. Jin turned to Jungkook and stopped in front of the door where the crying was coming from.

This here is someone who can’t be outside of his room while patients are out and about. Only if at least three nurses are with him. He only roams the halls at night alone.” Jin sighed and looked through the small square hole. “He’s the one person you don’t want to come across. He’s locked up for a reason and receiving a lot of help for his illness, but he’s so closed up that it’s hard to have a breakthrough.”

Jungkook looked through the hole and saw a boy sitting down with his bare feet on the floor and rocking a toy baby while crying. His black hair covered his eyes and the boy wiped his tears. He was wearing a long sleeve white shirt and white loose pants that made it look like he was dressed as a sad angel.

“Shhh, don’t cry with me Abby,” the boy said rocking the baby faster. “Shhh, it’s alright, I’m here.”

Jungkook felt bad for the boy, he didn’t know what was wrong with him, but he was sad for him. He looked at Jin and wasn’t sure if he should ask.

“I know you’re curious,” Jin said seeing Jungkook eyeing him. “But it’s confidential. And honestly…we only know so little. I told you, it’s hard to open him up about his past.”

Jungkook now watched the boy throw his head back and began laughing really hard at a joke that the baby seemed to have made. The boy kept talking to the doll and started to lay down with the baby by his side.

Jin turned to Jungkook and said, “When he does walk alone, please do not talk to him. Ignore him by all means. Don’t even think of looking at him in the eyes. And, last but not least, don’t ever touch him. He hates physical contact the most. The reason why I’m telling you this is because if you’re cleaning and don’t see him, the slightest touch will set him off like a firecracker. Make sure to always look around you at night.” Jin looked at the sleeping boy and frowned. He really wished he could help him out to cure him, but it was a lost cause.

Jungkook heard a soft snore and turned away from the door. He was going to be a bit scared working around the boy at night, but as long as he followed the rules, he should be set to work and just do what he needs to. Seemed easy enough.

“You’ll get to meet more of the staff here on this part of the ward as you start working. They’re all very good doctors and nurses, like I said, don’t hesitate to ask anything if you feel uncomfortable. I’m sure soon enough you’ll adapt to it though. Just follow the rules and you’re squared away to get your job done!” Jin placed his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder and said, “Let’s go show you your room now."

Jungkook began to walk off with Jin down the hall even more, but he had to glance back at the boy in the locked up door all alone. He shook his head and tried getting the sadness he saw in his face out of his head and continued to walk with Jin. As they walked just a bit further up, Jin stop and turned with a grin. “Here it is! Your supply room! If you need anything or run out, just mark it for inventory and log it in the book that we collect every week and we will order more stuff. So here’s the list that is hung every day, and it tells you exactly what you should be doing.”

Jungkook looked up at the ceiling.‘Was it his job to change the light then?’ he thought.

Jin noticed him looking and said, “You can change it if you want, but maintenance will come in this ward at least every two weeks. They are scared to come down these halls as well.”

“Oh. Um, yeah I’ll change it out when I complete the list. Thanks again Jin for the tour and um…wish me luck?” he said hesitantly. He didn’t want Jin to leave him just yet, he felt safe around the doctor. He was hoping he could be safe without him as well.

“Good luck. I think you’ll be just fine though. I’ll be here just about every day, so it’s not like I won’t see you,” Jin said turning away. “Oh by the way, your badge will be waiting for you, so before you leave make sure you pick it up at the front desk. Bye Jungkook!”

Jungkook sadly waved and watched the doctor disappear down the hall. He looked in his supply closet and walked inside. It had everything he needed. He checked the list and the first thing to do was wipe the walls. He groaned as he remembered the disgusting filth he saw as he was walking down the halls. He didn’t know what to clean walls with though…he never cleaned walls in the past. He looked around for cleaning solution and saw dawn dish washing liquid and decided to just use that with some water. As long as the walls were clean he didn’t care how the job got done.

Time passed by pretty fast as he concentrated on the walls, ignoring patients who walked up to him and just stared for minutes at a time. Another nurse named Hoseok would lead them away from him and slowly started putting them in their rooms for the night. He liked Hoseok, he seemed like a great funny guy that eased his mind. Jungkook sighed of relief when it was now quiet down the long hallways. He wasn’t going to finish four long halls in one night, so he only worked on the very dirty spots that were very obvious.

“Hey Jungkook, we are going to go grab a snack, want anything?” Jimin asked with Hoseok by his side both smiling.

“Oh, sure, anything is fine. Thank you,” Jungkook said. He was surprised they offered him anything, but he was appreciative of the gesture.

“You’re welcome! And Namjoon is the doctor in charge for the night, he’s at the front desk right now checking charts so if you need him while we’re gone, just go up to him and ask. He’s a really cool guy. We’ll be back in a few minutes! I’ll get you a soda also. It’s a welcoming gift for you.” Jimin and Hoseok waved goodbye and left.

Jungkook smiled and was enjoying the night time better now that he could work faster without feeling threatened by the patients. He took out headphone and decided to listen to music while he scrubbed, maybe time would go by faster. He blasted some hip hop in his ears and went back to work.

Almost done with one side of the hallway. Jungkook smiled happily at his work; big difference. He soaked up his sponge again and worked the walls again.

At the end of the hall, stood the boy holding his baby as he stared at the man who was nodding along to music.

Jungkook did some sweet moves as he lipped sync along with his music and moved his bucket further down the hall. He felt someone starting at him and the hair on his arms stood up. He looked down the hall and saw the boy staring right at him. ****! He made eye contact and he started to shake a little. With so many other patients from earlier, none of them scared him like the boy did. It looked like some horror movie type of shit, and he wasn’t ready to die. He just got a house not too long ago and beautiful girlfriend who was waiting for him at home.

He took off his headphones and turned off his music. He had to listen out for sounds in case the boy approached him, and he didn’t want to bump into him on accident. He ignored the stares that he was receiving and went back to cleaning feeling shaken up. He looked to the other side of the hall, and was wishing Jimin or Hoseok would check up on him already. He didn’t know why he was thinking that way for, it wasn’t their job to check up on him, he wasn’t the patient. Still, he was scared for himself.

He heard footsteps coming from the side of the hall where the boy was at. He wanted to take off running, or call it quits right then and there. He tried not to breathe loudly as the boy’s footsteps got closer and closer to him. He dropped the sponge and blamed his shaky hands as he reached down to pick it back up. There he saw the boy’s bare feet standing right next to him.

He ignored him and dipped his sponge back into the water, and nervously started to clean again.

“Hi,” the boy said in a deep smooth voice. He watched the man clean and cocked his head to his side. Maybe he didn’t hear him. “Hi,” he repeated again.

Jungkook began to hum to himself and checked to see if other nurses were coming down this deserted hall. None. He tried his best to ignore the boy. The boy didn’t sound crazy though. He sounded really normal. He didn’t know his illness or situation so he didn’t want to overstep his bounds on what Jin had warned him about.

Jungkook heard laughter coming on the opposite side of the hall and looked to see Jimin and Hoseok walking towards him with his snacks for him. He grinned ecstatically as his new co-workers appeared before him. Jimin waved from down the hall and flashed him his soda that he picked out for him.

“Sorry we took so long, we had problems along the way with one of the patients,” Jimin said as he handed him his stuff. Jimin looked at Tae and smiled. “Hello. Make sure you leave this man here alone while you walk the halls,” Jimin said laying his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “He needs to only work, no talking or interfering. I mean it.” Jimin gave the boy a stern look.

Jungkook felt really weird between all this.

“What did I do to him for me not to talk to him?” the boy asked not understanding why he had to distance himself.

“You know why. Just keep about your business and let him do his job.” Jimin kept his eyes on the boy and looked away to avoid staring for any longer. After years of working with the boy, Jimin and the staff they got allowed to make eye contact, but not for too long, or he would flip a switch.

The boy sighed and looked at Jungkook who was clearly avoiding him. “Everyone here ignores me. I have no one but my baby here to keep me company. What’s that Abby? You’re hungry?” the boy says as rocks his doll and turns around. “I’ll be talking to you later on again,” the boy said looking over his shoulder at Jungkook.

They watched the boy walk down the dark hall that was missing lights from above, and sat a bench cradling his baby doll.

“He’s harmless at times, but he is one unpredictable kid that we have to keep an eye on from time to time.” Jimin sighed, “Anyways, its best if you stay clear of him. He’s the hardest kid to control around here.”

Jungkook didn’t see what was so bad though. Yeah he was scared of him from what they were telling him, but as of meeting the boy, it was nothing really. He was just really lonely.

Out of nowhere he hears screaming and he whips his head around to see the boy on the floor screaming in agony. He didn’t know what to do or what the hell was even going on. He just watched the two nurses rush to his side, and as they grabbed the boy his screams turned into the worst cries he’s ever heard. Jimin and Hoseok were struggling, and around the corner ran a doctor with a needle in his hand.

As he watched the two nurses hold down the boy, the doctor injected him with some kind of medicine and the boy slowly slumped down. The doctor picked him up and walked him to his room to lay him down. Jimin and Hoseok talked to the doctor and all three went down the hall to talk more. He couldn’t hear anything since they were so far, but it had to be about what just happened.

Jungkook looked where the boy’s door was and frowned. Just what was wrong with him? He went back to work and finished up as much as he could of the walls before rotating to another chore on his list. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able handle this madness at night though. Should he fear for his life? No…the boy didn’t seem to want to hurt him, he seemed like he was wanting a friend. There was just has something wrong with him, that’s all.

Still, regardless of anything he was going to stay away from the boy as much as he could, and prayed, just prayed the boy would learn to leave him alone.

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