Chapter Three: Suicide

Tuesday,March 10,20XX

Ainara arrived at a bridge and looked up to see the dark sky. She sighed with tears in her eyes and dry blood on her hands. “So do I just jump?”She mumbled. She felt that this is fair enough. She did good but she also did bad it’s not like she was a saint.

Everyone that she cared about is dead so it is not like anyone will miss her. Nobody will even know who she is. “It feels so suffocating.” She whispered. Surely, she’s forgetting about a few people that still care for her….

Sarah? No, she’s commoditize and might never wake up.

Anna? No, she’s had her happily ever after and she doesn’t need her to add to her troubles.

“Mother, I failed you I'm sorry.”She whispered and placed her palms on the rail ready to jump. Before she could jump she remembered someone. She swallowed. ‘ No... he won’t be here.’ She thought.

“James… I have been wanting to tell you this for a long time and since I know you will be leaving soon before that I wanted to tell you that… I love you and always had feelings for you.”The young girl gave him an expectant look and bit her lip in nervousness.”So?”The man asked coldly.

“Are you willing to be my boyfriend?”The girl asked. He checked this time in his watch impatiently.”James?”The girl asked again.”Are you done?”

“W-what?”

“Miss Wilson please make this fast. I have somewhere else to be at the moment.” He ignored her confession directly.

“B-but I-”

“Miss Wilson your feelings don’t concern me please move on.” He rejected her coldly, without any emotion. The young woman clung onto his arm but he immediately pushed her away so strongly that she almost fell on the floor.

“But you have never been close to any woman so I thought that-” She tried to gain his attention and pity.

“Miss Wilson stop assuming things and please keep your distance.” He told her.

Miss Wilson ran away in tears after his cruel rejection. The handsome young man once again looked at his watch impatiently and looked around as if searching for someone. He walked in the opposite direction in annoyance.

“ Waiting for someone?” Ainara mumbled.

The man paused and turned around. Ainara froze. She was not expecting him to hear her. When she saw his handsome face she immediately recognized him. Instead of jumping, she sat on the dangerous edge of the bridge. He scanned her and narrowed his eyes when he spotted dry blood on her jacket.”Miss your bleeding.”He pointed out. Ainara shook her head.

“No, this is not my blood.”She gave him a smirk and he frowned.”I can’t believe it. The crowned prince has been searching for me so long and can’t even recognize me?”She teased. “ He even started playing detective to find me…” She added.

“Is my face not beautiful enough, that you can’t even remember it Mr. Detective?”She jumped from the edge onto the floor and stood right in front of him.”Do you recognize me now?” She asked as she got closer to him.

Surprise filled his previously expressionless face.”And you just exposed yourself like this? I thought you were smarter.” He responded.

She chuckled and traced her fingers across his handsome face. He grabbed her wrist to stop her but she just laughed.

Suddenly she tiptoed and brushed her lips against his seductively. He froze in shock but before he could react she pulled away. A tear came down her cheek. He stood there in a daze following the tear with his eyes.

She closed her eyes as another tear rolled down her cheek.” See I told you we would meet again...”She winked at him and suddenly did a backflip. She stood right on the edge of the bridge.

Her chest moved up and down as she took deep breaths in.

Her hair flowed in the air like waves because of the wind. Her eyes reddened and a few more tears came down her eyes.” I’m sorry but I can’t give myself in like I promised a year ago.” She muttered as tears fell from her eyes.

He walked towards her ready to capture her because failure is just not in his dictionary. He would handcuff her and she would pay for her crimes.

She gasped feeling suffocated by the sudden tears.  “ It’s so hard. To live. To b-breath….I-”

“Wait! Damn it!” He shouted.

He ran towards her to try to stop her but it was too late. She gave him one bitter smile and closed her eyes.

He took out his phone and dialed a number.”Get me an ambulance right now! Someone committed suicide in Lunken Bridge!”

“Start searching Now!” He ordered. He leaned on the edge of the bridge and swallowed. He immediately took off his coat and jumped ran to a lower part of the bridge. Once he found a safe hight to jump from he jumped off the bridge.

….

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion to her. If only she could go back and prevent her suffering. If only...unfortunately this is life and once decisions are taken there is no going back.

Her heart hurt. It hurt so much. She too has emotions. But hell who cares right? She’s just a killer. A murderer.A vengeful person. She doesn’t deserve to live. She is just a waste of oxygen.

This is what she kept telling herself but deep inside a small light kept telling her.

You're worthy. Your sins are forgiven. You deserve to live. Keep fighting. Love yourself even if others don’t.There was still a small light in there telling her she had to keep fighting that she had to keep living. What he did to you will make you stronger. You can do this!

She was in debate on whether to keep breathing or not.

She could feel the cold water brush against her skin. Despite the height she had jumped from she could still swim up and live. But no she refused to go back up. There was an immense pain in her heart.

Her lungs asked for more, they wanted air, they wanted oxygen. She was prepared for situations like this, her survival instinct already knew how to get out of this situation but she no longer had the will to keep going.

This time she didn’t want to survive. This time she gave up completely…..

Her lungs started to fill up with cold water. Her lips turned purple. Her body paled. Her eyes closed tightly and her hand let loose.

She slowly started to lose her life but that annoying small light kept telling her to live on. She felt sick and trapped. Like she was trapped in a small box and the more she tried to believe in that small light the faster that box shrank. She wanted to grasp that last hope of life and tightly hold onto it forever.

Sadly once her miserable life flashed in front of her eyes she felt no motive, energy, or urge to go back. Who would be waiting for her if she does live? All she will do is go back to being miserable again won’t she?

So forget it. It’s best to let go.

She finally turned off the last light of hope as images of her childhood flashed before her eyes.

‘I’m sorry.’ She apologized to nobody in particular before closing her eyes and sinking in darkness.

___________

Author’s Note:

This is not a rebirth story. It is just a suicide attempt and all will be explained later. The next chapter will be a flashback to what happened a year ago and how she and this man(James) met. By the way, this story will start slowly because I want to focus mainly on how the female lead learned to love herself and tries to move on.

Lastly, the story is a bit sad but there will be a very happy ending and funny scenes ahead! : )

I believe you guys think James is the ML right? If you do tell me your thoughts in the comment section. Is he the ml or not?

(For those of you wondering I don't have a schedule of releasing chapters yet. The chapters I will be posting for the following days were written by me a while ago. I have a small stockpile at the moment but of course, it won't last forever. Until then I can't tell you any release schedule.)

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