chapter 1

"Do not consume more than one tablet per consumption" Park Jimin read aloud from the prescription sleeping pill bottle.

A broken laugh mixed with a choked sob fused together, creating a sound full of raw pain, falling onto nothing but the four walls that surrounded the boy.

Jimin emptied the bottle onto his bed, the pills forming a tiny blue sea in the middle of his black comforter. He let out a weak chuckle at the irony of it, the pills creating an ocean right in front of him while he himself was drowning.

The boy lined the pills into a row counting them out as he went "14, 15, 16". He said to himself. Climbing off his bed, the boy was careful to not disrupt the river of blue on his bed.

He walked into the small kitchen, its cheerful yellow walls almost too much to handle. His mother loved this kitchen.

It was colorful, "Spunky" would be the word she would use. The walls were a bright sunny yellow, with white curtains framing the windows. The cabinets were all blue, soft, baby blue. The fridge however was what sent a fresh wave of nausea and tears to the young boy.

The small white fridge, covered in pictures of life before. Life before his mother's death.

The pictures capturing a happy Jimin. Like the picture taken of Jimin's science fair project, his mother standing behind her little "Chim Chim" as she liked to call him. Her arms wrapped around him, smile beaming at the camera, Jimin was smiling too holding a second place trophy for his little papier mache volcaco.

They had identical smiles. Smiles that lit up their entire faces, smiles that left their eyes as little crescent moons, smiles that made anyone who witnessed it want to smile.

Or maybe the picture of them at his mothers birthday party the previous Spring. Cake frosting smeared on their noses. Those same identical smiles beaming for the camera.

Jimin grabbed a cup, filling it up with water, he began walking out of the kitchen. Reaching the door way of the kitchen he hesitated for a second, walking over to the fridge he looked over all the photos before finally finding it.

It was a simple picture, A family photo taken not that long ago. Jimin's mother and father standing in the center, Jimin standing next to his father, his little brother Jihyun standing next to their mother.

The happy family on Eurwangni beach. The sun setting behind them, their bodies covered in sand from a long day of fun. Each year the family would vacation to Eurwangni beach and have their "unofficially official" sand castle building contest. The winner usually being Jihyun.

With his glass of water in one hand and photo in the other Jimin climbed back up the stairs, entering his bedroom and climbing onto his bed. He placed the picture down above the sleeping pills, still clutching the glass of water in his hand.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled tears streaming down his face. "I-Im so sorry mom... I'm sorry d-dad... I'm sorry Jihyun.." Jimin wiped away the tears, he knew they'd almost immediately be replaced but he wanted to look at the picture. He wanted it to be the very last thing he saw. His very last thought before...

Jimin cried. His eyes crying wet tears while his heart cried dry tears. He cried for what felt like an eternity. His eyes were burning, eyelids feeling heavy. Every blink seducing the boy with the promise of sleep. But no, Jimin held off.

His head was pounding, a migraine prominent. Hiccups from crying so much, though small, almost inaudible over his clogged ears, were echoing around his skull adding to the intense pressure.

Using his shaking hand, Jimin grabbed the first pill. Rolling it between his index finger and thumb, inspecting it for just a moment before he placed it in his mouth.

Picking up the Second pill Jimin's eyes went back to that family picture, his thoughts consumed with sadness. Longing to go back in time, back to when he was happy and popular and when his biggest stress was passing finals... Back to when he still had his mom.

Jimin kept taking the pills unable to stop. It was like he wasn't in control over his own body anymore, his brain had just gone into auto pilot.

Consuming all the pills. Jimin gripped the glass of water with shaky hands

*Gulp* *Gulp* *Gulp*

the ice cold water was painfully cold going down his throat but he didn't care.

Jimin emptied the entire glass, wiping away a few droplets making their way down his chin.

The boy set the glass down on his nightstand. Laying down onto his bed he brought his covers up, letting the warm softeness envelop him. Gripping the picture hard in his hand, Jimin stared down at his loved ones. Tears falling rapidly, his thoughts were all in a jumble. Thoughts of the past and thoughts of "I'm sorry" dancing together in a jumbled mess.

_______

"Jimin!" He could hear his brother downstairs. Jihyun was home early from school, this wasn't supposed to happen. Jimin had planned to be long gone before either his brother or father came come.

The pills were kicking in. It was hard to focus on anything, the room was spinning. Everything swirling in and out of focus.

"Jiminnnn!!!!" His brother called. "I came home early to take care of you! Jiminie!!!" The sound of footsteps pounding on the hardwood floors, Jihyun must've been running up the stairs by the sounds of it.

Jimin had told his father and brother he had a cold as an excuse to stay home, he knew it was selfish. His poor remaining family members coming home thinking they'd find Jimin with a fever, or a runny nose.

Not dead. No, not gone. Dead and gone. No longer in the land of the living. Somewhere in the afterlife, whatever it was.

"Are you sleeping!?" He could hear the boy getting closer, Jimin's eyes became heavy no longer able to keep them open a yawn escapong his lips. His mind had trouble connecting thoughts.

Why was Jihyun calling him? Making such a ruckus. Why did his eyes sting so much? Why was he suddenly so tired.

His eyes rolled back into his head, body going slack just as his bedroom door flew open "Jimi-" then everything went dark.

___

Tap. Tap. Tap. The rythm awakening Jimin from his nightmare. His eyes shot open as his body shot up into a sitting position. The dream still fresh in his mind, it had all felt so real. The pills. The tears. The pain.

Jimin could feel the tears, but the tears refused to fall. Pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his head on them, Jimin let out a heavy sigh.

"I wish it had been real" He whispered, eyes squeezed shut.

"It was real" a deep voice came from the doorway. Jimin's eyes shot open looking to the man standing in his room.

"W-what a-are you d-doing here!?" Jimin said panicked. "W-who are y-you!?" He said pushing himself against the wall his bed rested against, trying to put as much distance between himself and the man as he could.

The man took a step forward coming closer to the side of his bed. Not taking his eyes off of him Jimin frantically reached for the first thing his hand made contact with and threw it at the stranger.

"S-STAY AWAY F-FROM ME!" Jimin screamed throwing the glass cup in the mans direction, the glass hitting the wall next to him shattering into dozens of tiny pieces.

"Okay! Okay!" The man said placing his hands in front of him and taking a step back "Let me explain" he said trying to reason with the boy.

"GET OUT!" Jimin screamed at him "GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!" the man's facial expression had yet to change. He looked, almost bored. As if being in a house that was not his own was something he did all the time.

"The police won't come Jimin" the man said with a sigh. "W-what the... Why..." Jimin stumbled over his words, unsure what to say. "H-how do you k-know my name!?" He finally said with a shaky voice.

"Because Jimin" the man said surveying the boys room. Not making eye contact.

"You're in a coma".

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