CHAPTER 18

Qin Yan was against this idea, but Wu Sisi was in favour of it, with Yan Ming eventually joining the supporter's queue after being motivated by Fu Changling.

So the three of them went gleefully to buy wine and meat, and Qin Yan was forced to join them, build a fire with them, and prepare the meat for roasting.

It was a pleasant evening, with four people roasting in the courtyard, eating, and chatting.

As Fu Changling watched Wu Sisi eat very bountifully, he couldn't help but say, "Senior, you didn't used to look like this, did you?"

"That's right," Wu Sisi replied as she chewed on her meat. "I used to be very pretty, but it's all about the pressure. You will be able to witness how beautiful I am if you have time to return to the Xuanji Secret Realm in the future."

"No, no," Once Fu Changling heard this, he hastily waved his hand and said, "I don't think I'd ever want to return to this place."

"It's just as well," Wu Sisi sighed, "there's nothing to come back to in this damnable place either."

"Senior," Fu Changling, seeing that the conversation was heading in a less pleasant direction, said quickly, "Is your Master Mingxiu DaoJun?"

"Yah," Wu Sisi was a little taken aback, "you knew that?"

"I know," replied Fu Changling, nodding, "your portrait is still in the Theogony of the Ancient Gods and Immortals. Speaking of which, I'm a bit curious," Fu Changling said as he chewed on his meat, "Why did Mingxiu DaoJun vanish back then? Did he die in one of the battles?"

"He didn't die," Wu Sisi said as she gnawed on her meat, "he went somewhere."

"That's not what the book says," Fu Changling said, slightly surprised. "Where did he go?"

"You don't know this place," Wu Sisi said, waving her hand. "In any case, it's a very unpleasant place to be, with no food or clothing; the sun is scorching hot; and it's difficult to find a drink of water."

"Mingxiu DaoJun has suffered greatly," Fu Changling sighed. "You must let Mingxiu DaoJun eat a lot of meat when his seal is broken some day."

"That's for sure," said Wu Sisi, her voice a little hoarse as she slowed down on her meat. "You have no idea how much he's suffered."

"Let's drink," Yan Ming said, raising his cup as he noticed the atmosphere was off. "Let's not talk about such unhappy things."

"Right, right, right," Fu Changling cheerfully said, "come, drink."

With this, they clinked their cups together and drank.

Fu Changling amused them with all sorts of humorous stories, and Wu Sisi was convulsing with laughter, while Yan Ming on the side was also pursing his lips, but despite holding a cup of wine, Qin Yan's eyes, which had always been ice-cold, were frosty.

After three rounds of wine, town headman Wu sent someone to urge Wu Sisi to return to her room. As soon as Wu Sisi left, Qin Yan, seemingly drunk and exhausted, said nothing and brought his wine up to the far rooftop.

He sat alone on the roof, his sword at his side, his gaze fixed in the distance, and the bright moon hanging high behind him, casting a silvery sheen over him—a stunning sight to behold.

Yan Ming observed quietly and suddenly said, "Qin Daoyou is too lonely."

Fu Changling turned his head to look at Yan Ming when he heard this.

He couldn't help but laugh, causing Yan Ming to look back in confusion and ask, "What are you laughing at?"

"Laughing at the fact that you're still young."

These words upset Yan Ming a little, but he also seemed to think that it was rather juvenile to be angry about them. He frowned and said, "You and I are about the same age. What makes you say that?"

Fu Changling smiled as he took a sip of his wine, and his gaze fell on Qin Yan in the distance.

An unusually strange feeling came over him.

When facing Yan Ming, he realised very clearly that he had gotten old. The seventeen-year-old Yan Ming did not seem to be much different from the one he remembered. He was exactly the same as he had been at seventeen, except Fu Changling was weaker than him and could only look up to him back then. Now that he had returned after decades of living, he just felt that the Yan Ming of this time, aside from the specifics that he recalled being the same as the Yan Ming from back then, was much more adorable.

However, Qin Yan was also seventeen.

Seventeen-year-old Qin Yan, on the other hand, didn't give him the impression of an older person looking down on a younger one. He somehow felt that there wasn't much difference between the Qin Yan of this time, the future Qin Yan, and himself, who had lived for more than forty years.

They were people of the same world, like the departed souls who had waded across the River of Oblivion, trudged through the Yellow Springs Road, and returned to the realm of mortals to witness this occurrence once again.

Such a feeling somewhat surprised him. He couldn't figure out the reason why, and after racking his brain, he could only attribute it to the fact that perhaps Qin Yan, as a person, was naturally deep-minded.

"Fu Xiōng?" Yan Ming couldn't help but call out to him when he didn't respond, and Fu Changling averted his gaze, saying quickly, "Come, come, let's drink."

With that, he raised his wine jar and clinked it with Yan Ming's while chatting casually, asking, "Where did you enter the Xuanji Secret Realm from?"

"My Shīfù's sect," Yan Ming said, seemingly nostalgically. He took a sip of his wine and slowly added, "Now my Shīfù is still waiting for me, isn't he?"

In his previous life, Fu Changling had heard Yan Ming speak of his Master. He knew that Yan Ming's Master was all-powerful, so he asked no further questions and simply said, "Don't worry, once you get out, as long as he's still waiting for you, you'll see him first."

The secret realm was all about "wherever one entered from, that's where they exited". Right after saying that, Fu Changling couldn't help but smile and ask, "But will your Shīfù wait for you?"

"He will," Yan Ming replied decisively. "He'll be worried that something might happen to me."

"You and your Shīfù share a very strong bond," said Fu Changling, raising his hands to clap, "and I must applaud."

Yan Ming initially smiled at his remarks, but it was fleeting. He appeared to be thinking about something else, looked at Fu Changling, and then stopped speaking. Fu Changling looked up at him and smiled, knowing he had something to say. "What is it?"

"Fu Xiōng," Yan Ming hesitated for a moment, and then, after quite a while, he finally said, "I always feel as if you have a lot of things to say to me, but you keep them buried in your heart. You smile at every opportunity, yet I always feel that you don't really want to smile."

For some reason, Fu Changling subconsciously cast an enchantment to keep the outer world from prying into their conversation as he listened to him speak.

This enchantment escaped Yan Ming's notice. He just frowned and added slowly, "If you don't want to smile, you don't have to."

Fu Changling uttered no words. He stared at Yan Ming in front of him, and at this very moment, he finally found in this person a shadow of the one he had seen in his previous life.

He stared at him for a long time, and suddenly he realised that everything in this life was pretty much the same as it had been in his previous one. He came to Shangguan Estate, entered the Xuanji Secret Realm, and also met Yan Ming. So would it still be the same after this as in his previous life? He and Yan Ming would never cross paths again after getting out?

He felt a pang of regret when he thought about it this way.

"There are indeed things I want to say," Fu Changling sighed. "It's just that I don't know if I should say them to you."

"You can," Yan Ming said, clinking his cup with his. "It'll make you feel better if you say them."

"Actually," Fu Changling said, looking up at him, "I was mistaken. You were not the one who saved me back then."

Yan Ming paused briefly, then he nodded and said, "Indeed, I just don't remember such a thing."

"He resembled you and even had the same name as you, but he was indeed not you," Fu Changling said. "He saved me in a secret realm, and then we made a promise to see each other again, but we never did. I have so many things I want to say to him, but I can never do so anymore."

"What is it that you have to say?" Yan Ming was a little puzzled. Fu Changling lowered his head and poured himself a cup of wine, then he raised his cup and smiled, "Why don't I say it to you?"

"Speak," replied Yan Ming with a nod, "and I'll listen."

Fu Changling nodded. After a long pause, he finally said, "The first thing is, thank you."

He saved his life, and for that, he was thankful.

With that, he downed his wine in one gulp.

"The second thing," Fu Changling added as he poured more wine. He refrained from glancing at Yan Ming this time as he hastily said, "I'm sorry."

Sorry that over the years, he had gradually forgotten about this person.

He would have already forgotten even his voice if he hadn't been reborn and hadn't encountered him again.

After those words, Fu Changling took another swig of wine.

"The third thing," Fu Changling said, pouring one last cup of wine. When he gazed into the cup, he noticed the seventeen-year-old Fu Changling reflected there. For some reason, his emotions suddenly overwhelmed him, and he lost his usual composure and became a little bit sore-eyed. Only after a long time did he say, "Never mind, let's not talk about it."

"It'll make a difference for some things to be said a bit sooner or later," Fu Changling shrugged helplessly and added, "Now that I want to say them, you see, I can't even find him."

"Then..." Yan Ming said, somewhat curiously, "you didn't look for him?"

"I did," Fu Changling sighed, "but I couldn't find him, and then there was so much going on, so I simply let it go."

Yan Ming said nothing. He pondered for quite a while before asking, "What happened to you afterwards... was it... Qin Daoyou?"

Fu Changling was so alarmed by these words that he accidentally spilled his wine and quickly said, "Don't talk nonsense, Yan Xiǎodì. Saying such things is deadly."

"But I always feel," Yan Ming said warily, "that you treat Qin Daoyou..."

"Yan Ming," Fu Changling's stern expression finally relaxed as he interrupted Yan Ming and spoke calmly, "Qin Yan has harmed my household."

Yan Ming's eyes widened, and Fu Changling's tone was smooth, "He has done many bad things in the past, and I don't know if he will do them again in the future. Even though it's all in the past and my household is still alive and well today, Yan Ming," Fu Changling gazed up at him, "I wouldn't like such a person."

Yan Ming was rather surprised to learn this. He hesitated for quite a while before finally asking, "Is that why you've been avoiding him?"

As well as being dumbfounded, Fu Changling was somewhat baffled. Yan Ming looked at him and said seriously, "Didn't you notice," he turned his head to glance at Fu Changling, "that you've been avoiding him?"

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