Ep 4

Stanley Trescothik and the Five Spiky Cats

🐉 A Fairy Tale 🔮

Once upon a time there was a spiteful girl called Stanley Trescothik. She was on the way to see her Sarah Pitt, when she decided to take a short cut through Yuckylake Woods.

It wasn't long before Stanley got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Ted, but Ted was nowhere to be found! Stanley began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Ted. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, she saw a spiky cat dressed in a green waistcoat disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Stanley.

For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed cat. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Stanley reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from onions, a house made from fruit gums, a house made from macarons, a house made from macarons, a house made from chocolates and a house made from cupcakes.

Stanley could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.

"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Stanley looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Stanley a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Ted!

"Ted!" shouted Stanley. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Ted back!" cried Stanley.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Ted out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, five spiky cats rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Stanley recognised the one in the green waistcoat that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Cat," said the witch.

"Good morning." The cat noticed Ted. "Who is this?"

"That's Ted," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Ted would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the cat.

The witch shook her head. "Ted is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Stanley interrupted. "Ted lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Cat ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Cat looked at the house made from cupcakes and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from cupcakes if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next cat. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Ted."

Stanley watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Ted to Big Cat. She didn't think Ted would like living with a spiky cat, away from her house and all her other toys.

The other four cats watched while Big Cat put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Cat. "Just you watch!"

Big Cat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from fruit gums. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Eventually, Big Cat started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of fruit gums, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Cat.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Cat never finished eating the front door made from fruit gums and Ted remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Cat stepped up, and approached the house made from macarons.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Cat. "Just you watch!"

Average Cat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from macarons. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After a while, Average Cat started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

   ...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a cat!" said Average Cat.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Cat, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the cat away under his arm.

Average Cat never finished eating the front door made from macarons and Ted remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Cat stepped up, and approached the house made from macarons.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Cat. "Just you watch!"

Little Cat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from macarons. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Cat started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating macarons for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Cat into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Cat. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Cat was never seen again.

Little Cat never finished eating the front door made from macarons and Ted remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Tiny Cat stepped up, and approached the house made from chocolates.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Cat. "Just you watch!"

Tiny Cat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chocolates. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Cat's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of chocolates, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.

"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Cat, and stomped off into the forest.

Tiny Cat never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and Ted remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Even-Tinier Cat stepped up, and approached the house made from cupcakes.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Cat. "Just you watch!"

Even-Tinier Cat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cupcakes. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Suddenly, Even-Tinier Cat stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Cupcakes! Watch me eat all the cupcakes!"

"It looks as though the cupcakes are making you hyperactive," laughed the witch.

"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Cat. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.

Bong!

Even-Tinier Cat banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.

Even-Tinier Cat never finished eating the front door made from cupcakes and Ted remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Ted."

"Not so fast," said Stanley. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from onions. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the cats. She won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Stanley.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Ted back."

Stanley ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from onions and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.

Stanley sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Stanley. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Stanley's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from onions. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Stanley was down to the final piece of the door made from onions. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Stanley had eaten the entire front door of the house made from onions.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Ted or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Stanley hurried over and grabbed Ted, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Ted was unharmed.

Stanley thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Sarah. It was starting to get dark.

When Stanley got to Sarah's house, her threw her arms around her.

"I was so worried!" cried Sarah. "You are very late."

As Stanley described her day, she could tell that Sarah didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.

"What's that?" asked Sarah.

Stanley unwrapped a doorknob made from fruit gums. "Pudding!" she said.

Sarah almost fell off her chair.

The End

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