jokes (page 4)

A Bad Accident

A journalist was standing by the roadside. Suddenly, he heard a car screech and saw a huge crowd gather at the other end of the road.He got to the scene of the accident 5 minutes later and saw a mammoth crowd in an apparent circle. "The person down there must have been hit by a car." He thought to himself.He decides to investigate further and tries to force his way through the crowd but was unsuccessful. His journalistic skills kicked into gear and he shouted, "PLEASE! MAKE WAY! I AM THE SON OF THE VICTIM." The crowd suddenly made way. He got to the centre of the crowd's attention and found out that the "victim" lying on the ground was a DOG.

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.A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.

The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

Later, he says, Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry.

She immediately replies, The one on the right.

That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?

The Indian mother replies, I don't like her.

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.Interviewer: There are 500

bricks on a plane. You drop one outside. How many are left?

Applicant: That’s easy, 499

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.Put the elephant in.

Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.Take the elephant out.Put the deer in.Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It’s lion’s birthday, all the animals are there except one, why?

Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge. Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion’s birthday. Interviewer: Last question. In the end the old lady still died.

Why? Applicant: Err….I guess she drowned? Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick. You may leave now.

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Oxymoron

English is a funny Language. One fascinating word of English Language is Oxymoron: An Oxymoron is defined as a phrase in which two words of opposite meanings are brought together. Here are some area scatter oxymorons...1) Independently dependent. 2) Clearly Misunderstood. 3) Exact Estimate. 4) Small Crowd. 5) Act Naturally. 6) Found Missing. 7) Fully Empty. 8) Pretty Ugly. 9) Seriously Funny. 10) Only Choice. 11) Original Copies. 12) Open Secret. 13) Tragic Comedy. 14) Foolish Wisdom. 15) Liquid Gas. 16) Stupidly Intelligent. 17) Richly Poor. 18) Naturally Homemade. 19) Impatiently Waiting. 20) Living Dead. 21) Beautifully Ugly. 22) Educated Illiterate. And The Mother of all...HAPPILY MARRIEDYou can add More Below...

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