jokes (page 2)

He Says He's Too Smart For 2nd Grade, So His Teacher Puts Him To The Test

A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was, and he replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her too."

The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to him.

The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question, he would go back to the second grade and be quiet.

The teacher and Johnny both agreed.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnny: "9."

Principal: "6 x 6?"

Johnny: "36."

So, it went on like this. The principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally, after about an hour, he told the teacher, "I see no reason why Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right."

The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agreed.

Teacher: "What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?"

Johnny: "Legs."

Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I don't have?" The principal gasped, but before he could stop him from answering, Johnny answered.

Johnny: "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Johnny: "Pants."

Teacher: What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?"

Johnny: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a big sigh of relief and said: "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself."

------X------X------X------X------X------X------X------X------

Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny. The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!" And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!" And fell back to sleep. Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time Im gonna break it!"

------X------X------X------X------X------X------X------X------

One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and Im gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "Thats a really big hole for a goldfish, isnt it?" asked the neighbor. "Thats because hes inside your cat!"

------X------X------X------X------X------X------X------X------

During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."

------X------X------X------X------X------X------X------X------

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***