Painful Heart

Little bit confused and little bit happy. "What am I going to do now?" I thought this thousands of times while walking round and round around the playground. I thought after she was gone I couldn't get any other friends. I knew that was stupid thoughts of mine but I haven't got any friends since I was born and everyone left me alone whoever I loved!! I was afraid to lose any other friend but at the same time I was also happy because she was really talkative that I couldn't even focus on my studies well.

I had a little bit hope that I won't be lonely so I tried to make friends. I tried to talk again and again with ****. It was the first time I was trying to get someone's attention and finally I got her attention. Finally, We talked with eachother. We didn't even knew when we started talking with eachother to much!!

Everytime when my heart hurts. I said myself "You are alright. This will be the last time you are suffering." but I was suffocating in this cruel world. I was afraid to dive under it. I was too emotional to bear others judgement and ignorance. Little Bit bad talk can also made me cry at that time. Since I was born I don't like others others oily talks.

Somepeople replies really hurtful that I can't even express my wounds in some short lines. They just throw their dirty words under my heart easily like throwing stones under ocean but they didn't knew how deep it has gone. They cut my heart with their sharp talks. But anyway now I'm able to slap them through my reply. But still it hurts.

I don't know why but I saw her that she was cute among others. I don't know if that was because she was my friend or she was really that cute. She was really friendly girl. Commonly she became funny to make her friends happy. She was really good person in my eyes. Everyone saw her funny and cute look but still I knew she was emotional. After we spent times with eachother. I started looking her as my elder sister. I always wanted a warm hug of my elder sister which she gave me.

I consider her as both of my elder sister and bestfriend. She had 3 siblings. 2 were younger than her and elder one was 10th grade highschool student. I've commonly seen her small sisters together with her. They fought together and also patched up with eachother on their own way. But I've rarely seen her elder sister because when we're in 4th grade. We're not that close friends so I couldn't see her elder sister because I didn't went to her home at first and when I went her sister was not there or sometimes gone somewhere but we became really good friends when time passes!!

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