CHAPTER THREE

I follow John out of the library, leaving my things there since I was sure to return, we walk for a while stopping at the public park which was only a short walk from the library. John finds a bench away from any body out by that time, which was quite small considering the time it was, once we were seated he looks around again making sure no one was within ear shot then he take a deep breath then turns to me with a steely gaze.

"you know about my problem right?" he says

"which of them because I know you have a lot" I joke arching a brow

" no not that Mari, let's be serious, I'm talking about my gender problem" he said causing the wind out of me, I know how sensitive that is too him he can't even talk about it because of how serious it is, it has stripped him of normality and his confidence so he hates that part of him to the core. And to think that he'd be open to speak to me, immediately all signs of playfulness drains out of me as I give him my utmost attention

"yeah I know about it" I say watching him

"well I don't know how to explain it to you but that thing is not actually a gender or even human" he says causing my eyes to widen

"what do you mean? "

" that's a subconsciousness in visible form" he says so seriously that I had to laugh to check if he was playing with me

"I'm serious Mari, I mean look at the possibility of me being able to interchange between two genders literally, that in itself isn't supposed to be possible" I stopped laughing as I watched him

" but it is." I say

"lemme explain" he says causing me to give him my full attention again

"the soul, body and spirit, the body in the physical form, the soul in the unseen form and before it is the spirit. you might not understand it so I'll put it this way, the consciousness, here we are" he waves his arms around indicating the things we see

" the unconsciousness the things we can't see and the subconsciousness before it" he says

"I think I understand but where is this going and how does it relates to your situation? " I asked confused

" well you see, how do you think it's possible for humans to think? to form near real images in our heads? how can we see without using our eyes, what is the brain and how those it connect with everything? how can we have dreams? how can we see things that hasn't happen and then it does sometimes? all of this are usually categorized as imagination right? "

" yeah we imagine things" I nod but still don't get what's happening

" how and why do you think we imagine this? instincts us what gives us the ability to even think and see this but what is instincts? "

I stay quiet as I ponder his question

" well instinct is a natural impulse or behavior?"

"and how do we get this, how does it come to us? it's all happening in the subconscious otherwise known as the sixth sense" he says smiling

" you hear of great men having discover things after they imagined it, some say they tapped into the sixth sense, some say they were told on their dreams but I know how it actually happens" he says

I frown at him confused

" what's going on right now?"

"my other form Joan is a sixth sense and somehow because she felt trapped to the world of the mind she made contact to my infant self, manipulating me to make a deal with her so she can borrow my body for one day a week and she stays in that form for 5 hours in that day" he frowns in annoyance as stare at him confusedly

" wait what?! how were you able to form a contract when you were only four months old?! "

" well the thing is babies have guards on their mentality, a type of being that prevents the sixth sense from taking advantage of physical self and cause havoc but she made a deal and made it that she was at a disadvantage, somehow her longing to see the physical world for herself was great it willed me as a child to agree, plus she also added that she would give me the exclusive wisdom she had but only for a limited time because part of the deal also involved that she would stop interfering with the physical world when I'm 25yrs old" he stops to shut his eyes firmly as he struggles with a sort of internal turmoil he had having to tell me a this.

at this point I was so confused that I remained silent, was thinking so much that I couldn't even think of what to ask

"so I don't get it, the guardian allowed it?" i asked

"the guardian did because the creator allowed it"

" the creator? you mean God? "

" well yes I think, he goes by several names"

" I have so many questions"

" and I still have a lot to say"

" okay go on, I'll wait till you finish"

"this is where it gets really really serious"

" okay"

" you know how the male genetics involves the x and y chromosomes? and the female just two y's?"

" yeah"

" well that's so how it is with the subconscious... they all assume the forms or women, no matter what gender a woman gives the wisdom, they're like perfect beings, they try to imitate the human bodies they guide because of their longing for humanity, they are both good and evil, reasons for the dark thoughts you have sometimes depending on what you choose to think about and how often you want to the subconscious can be either mostly good or mostly evil, it could even be pure evil so bad that it even directs you on your actions, depending on how much you listen to it"

" drug addicts, murderers and rapist call whatever, they are what they are because they chose to give in too it, and because of how much control they have over the bodies they use them to do what they want, to experiment, to see how the world is" he says watching me which I do too."

"they're position with the soul is directly in front of them, they just sit in front of you, watching you as they whisper ideas and suggestions which form into the imaginations in your mind, in the unseen world though they are perfect they have no eyes, they can't form any because they cannot see they can only whisper to you, that's why they want our eyes, to be able to see the light.

and our form? we sit opposite them facing them but with our eyes closed, the moment you open your eyes in the unseen world, if you have a weak heart they will immediately tempt you and take your body, leaving your mind to wonder but because of the connection with the soul and the body the physical form may either die out or go crazy, that's why deals are important"

" wait what about the guardians? "

" well they leave the moment we turn 6years old, the we have absolute awareness and can make decisions for ourselves"

" let me ask you, you had could make the decision for yourself then would you agree to the contract? "

" hell no, this whole shit has ruined my life, people fear me and if not for you wouldn't have any friends, my parents almost threw me out and my life is in total jeopardy, I have a belly button 5meters long that I have to wrap around and disguise it as a fat tummy and I hide my secret from everyone, I can't even lose my virginity and I'm 21 years old! how could I agree to something like that? the wisdom is fine and all but because of it my life is ruined" he breathes heavily

" hmm" I hum thinking about what he said

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