Introduction

It’s just a normal morning with me waking up to the sound of my annoying alarm clock, getting out of bed, and having a tiring morning with no sleep working on my school report all night. I wash up, don’t bother eating and wear my black hoodie and jeans and a cup of milk tea to get me started. A simple boring old morning with nothing better to do. I get onto the private bus and read my book as I reach college. As I rode on the bus to my school, I thought it’d be pretty exciting if I still lived with my brother, always coming up with a prank to scare the living daylights out of me. I missed those days where we giggled as the sun shone its light to the fields of rice and plants. My grandfather watering them, hoping for a good harvest that month. My father watching us, getting dirty as we jump and run around in the river and water in the rice fields. My grandmother and my mother calling us back for some delicious goodies to fill our tummies and it ends of with a good bed time story with everyone around both of us as we doze off with happy dreams, hoping for another good day with all of us together, smiling and enjoying every second of our lives. But every good time comes to an end in life, life’s lessons that cursed thing teaching the meaning and value of every step of your path. Screw that teaching. My life never had a ray of hope after those happy days ended, my family slowly started to shatter and break apart. I lost my grandparents because of old age and poor health. My grandparents never complained about how they lived or if they ever had an issue, and that took a toll in their lives. Me and my brother cried as our parents tried to control their tears as we stood saying rest in peace above their graves. That was the starting of my ‘lessons of life’ what a bunch of nonsense. My parents started to argue more as soon as that happened, I would watch my parents as they fought and shattered pictures, vases, and everything in their sight to vent out their anger. My brother would often tremble as they fought, so I always made him sleep earlier than me or take him out of the house if I ever felt like my parents were about to fight.

That was just the beginning of that catastrophe. We were just driving to the mall to get some good quality family time to get our minds off of all the drama. But that was a hellish mistake, as my father drove we hadn’t noticed but he was intoxicated and sleepy, so as we drove he just started dozing off every few minutes. So we thought to take some rest, but our ‘complaining ’just pissed him off, and he crashed the car that was the worst thing out of all of the misfortunes to happen to me. He murdered my mother and left my brother in the hospital in a horrible state. I just felt broken and depressed because I had been at my limit to handle everything. I always visited my brother to see if he ever woke up, and I’d just talk about everything that had happened to me. As all of this was going on, my father would always go out, never at home, and I always had to be alone at home. I had accepted this and moved on with my life, visiting my brother, who was in a coma like state, and my father, who never cared about me. This continued until a certain point my father told me he would be out of town for a few weeks, I didn’t care and just went along with it, I knew he didn’t want to take care of me, I also knew he’d been drinking every time. I wondered how he got the money because he was definitely fired from his job. But I didn’t care; I just cared about my brother and to finally complete my studies, get a good job which pays well so I can earn enough money for my brother’s hospital bills and to help my father to stop losing his mind and finally live like a normal family. And this brings me back to my morning with me in a bus going to school reading a book. You may think this is just a cliché thing to happen in someone’s life, but I don’t care the only thing keeping me alive is my brother and my lifelong dream of bringing back the cracks of my shattered family back together. One of my motivations to keep going and have hope in my life was the book I keep reading, volume after volume, I still kept reading it. The character of this book has a much darker past than me, sometimes I may feel pathetic of the fact that I fell into this depressed state because of such a silly reason, but I still move on. The character in my book named Ji-Ho, is a carefree and adventurous character, but that’s just what he is on the outside, as the saying goes ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ and his name also speaks for himself, Ji-Ho meaning the thirst for knowledge and a heart which burns with the flames of bravery never to stop glowing with its heat and shine. He was forever my inspiration and the eye opener to live for my brother’s smile once again, like the old days beaming with happiness and the vitality he once had, and now hidden in his conscious.

Ji-Ho may sound like an amazing character with a good plot line and as always an amazing main character, but that’s where you’re wrong he is nothing close to normal. In fact, you can call him crazy in his ways of solving his problems, and yet again that’s why he is my inspiration. He doesn’t care about a mere silly life which made his face hell; he’ll murder anyone and everyone if he ever had a chance or if they get in his way. He doesn’t believe in love or silly little emotions of desire and possessions, he believes that he should forget about these emotions and only let anger and revenge lead his mind and he should get up from the dirt and the shackles that everyone who despises him made, he should break free and spread his wings and fill the sky with his colors of freedom and vengeance and shine brighter than ever before. I love everything about him, and I also agree to everything he believes in. Sometimes, I had also thought about if I should leave my father or show him how much misery he piled up in my life and show him all the mistakes he made, and finish him off. But I do control myself because it’s not right. I always felt like dad was pretty abusive and restrictive. He never allowed us to do few things and always gave mom a hard time. So, I always thought I could help mom and lead this family to a better future. But it’s all shattered now; I haven’t had hope ever since my mother passed away. As the bus slowly stopped, I closed my book and headed to class.

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