5

I wake up in the morning,

my body sore and aching.

My head throbs and my bones ache.

I can barely move.

I can barely think.

I lay there, staring into space for a long time.

Tears fill my eyes, falling slowly down my cheeks,

blurring my vision until I can't see.

Until I can't see anything except red.

Red everywhere.

Blood is everywhere.

Red is everywhere.

And there is nothing anyone can do to save me.

There is no one I can trust.

There is no one I can go to....

My mother's lifeless face appears before my eyes.

She stares blankly at me, her eyes unseeing.

Her body laying motionless on the floor.

Her blood is everywhere...on me too.

On me, my clothes, my skin, on the walls...

I can't move. I can't get out.

I can hear my own sobs echoing off the walls surrounding me,

echoing off of my own ears...

I can't hear anything...

All I hear is my heart crying and beating faster and faster.

I start screaming.

I scream until it feels like my vocal chords will burst into pieces and break apart.

I scream until it hurts to breathe...

Until it hurts to swallow....

Until it hurts to even blink....

I scream till all I hear is my name being screamed over and over again.

The sound of my name sounds like an angel crying,

And then I start sobbing again and my tears mix with the red.

I want to die...

I want to forget all these things.

But I can't forget you.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me.

You killed me....

You killed me.....

But the pain doesn't stop.

And I keep screaming until I can't scream any longer.

When my voice gives out entirely,

and my throat starts to burn.

When I try to move,

but I just don't have enough strength.

When all I can do is cry.

I just cry.

And scream and beg for death...

But nothing changes.

Not a single thing.

Except maybe my mind.

What if I am crazy....maybe I don't deserve to live.

I deserve to die instead.....I deserve to be forgotten by all of mankind.

But if I do that I might never meet you again.

You might never find me.

Or you might come looking for me, searching desperately for me, hoping against hope to see me again.

I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of running.

I'm tired of crying.

Tired of hiding....

Tired of waiting.....

Tired of waiting..........

Until I finally decide I am done waiting.......

Tired of waiting............for You.........

to love me again......

Tired of waiting.......................

Tired of waiting..................for you..........

Tired of waiting....

I'm tired of waiting.............for you......

I'm tired.....of waiting...........for You..........

Please.............please......stop............please.......

Please...........please...............

Please.........please...............

Please..............please.........please.............

Please..............please...............

Please.............please...............

Please..............

Please......please.....................

Please.........

You see......

Sometimes the things we dream about,

never really happened......

Sometimes those dreams are never really real.....

And sometimes they're not really memories...

Sometimes we don't remember our past......

Sometimes we don't remember....what it looks like......

What it feels like....

Who we are...

Where we came from....

The places we went...

We don't remember those times......

Only the times when we were happy.....

Happy until......

Until......we got bored.

Bored of pretending.

Of lying.

Of hiding behind lies and lies.................

Bored of pretending to be a normal person.............

Bored..........bored....bored..............bored..............

We aren't supposed to be sad.

But we can't help but sigh every now and then.

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