Chapter 1: Grew up to be apart

The darkness coming right after the dusk and revealing the moonlight little by little as time passes. Meanwhile the birds are returning to their home where they feel comfortable and secure.

Will I ever get that feeling? I don't think so. Past one week has been unbelievable nightmare for me. My son...Josh...with whom I couldn't have my good times with just like any mother and son. He got beheaded infront of lots of people without mercy.

The execution sight was filled with many people including the emperor and empress on their respective throne. Follows us beneath them at the tower.

My heart clenched as soon as I saw my son getting dragged out from the criminal cell, His body was covered with blood of his. Anybody could tell that he suffered too many lashes due to those harsh marks on his back. I couldn't endure to see my son in that vary state, It felt like I drank a bowl filled with lots of pins which were directed attacking my heart. I clenched my hand at the handle of the seat and the moment I took a glance at the duke, My heart froze right at that moment to see the duke without any expression on his face and looking at the execution ground where our son is being untied to put his head right under the sharp blade which will take his life in a second.

But not only did the duke didn't baith his eyes even once. He even looked unbothered by it! He was his own son...how could he not... The sudden uproar of the crowd made me look back to my son whom they putted on the guillotine. I kept staring at my son unable to do anything while out if the blue my son looked at my direction and gave the first and last smile I could ever see...the most beautiful smile in this world to a mother right before the blade slashed his head and separated his head from his body.

As soon as my son's head rolled on the ground the crowd also started dispersing and everyone started to leave. Even the duke did too but I remain seated there alone with my son's execution flashing in my eyes again and again.

The dusk was as suffocating as the smell of cigar to me. Aimless me got up from my seat and went near the head rolling on the ground and sat there with my son's head on my lap. It's then that I realised that my son looks exactly like me but his sharp eyes...they look just like the Duke's. I patted my son's head to sleep. My servants said in the past week that my son hasn't been sleeping well so I guessed my pat must have helped him.

The time passed real fast today and the moon showed up on the sky emitting it's bright light which made my son more and more handsome when the moonlights falls on him.

“You look beautiful my son." I said while my tears flowed down my cheeks.

''Mom isn't crying darling. It's just the rain I guess. believe me!'' I said while trying to comfort my son with my white lies.

The cold breeze blew my son's hairs slowly which has the exact colour as mine... silver hairs. Nonono I have to wake my son up! or else he will catch cold here outside!

“Son” I called in a soothing voice but my son seems way too deeply in sleep. so, I called him again and again to wake him up but he doesn't responds to his mother.

Suddenly a big hand grabbed my hand and pulled me up. Due to the sudden force I stood up in a second but my son! my son fell on the ground!

“Josh--!” Before I could complete my sentence that hand which was grabbing me slapped ne in my cheek real hard. I turned my head to look towards the person who is it but it's the same person who was sitting at his seat expressionless. For the first time in my life I feel disgusted. The face that watched my son getting beheaded was right before my eyes.

I pulled back my hand vigorously and looked at him in disgust which seems to not bother him at all. Just like when they did that to my son--!?

“My son...”

“Your son is dead.” Said the duke with that same look in his eyes.

Without thinking for second time I slapped him on his cheek but he didn't turned his head away and kept looking at me with those cold like animal's eyes. Those eyes...right...my son had those eyes too... but he isn't anymore...no more with me...did I ever even spent some time with him...?Him getting his successor classes one after another and me as the Duchess of the duchy who always would manage the duchy's teritorial problems... had I ever spent some mother and son like time with my son?

^^^No matter what excuses I make. The answer is still 'No'. I never spent some actual time with my own son and now I could never in my life too. I broke down and screamed till my lungs give up and soon my tears came out of my eyes and I cried out loudly and continuously. While the duke was still at his place till I was done.^^^

As soon as I got a hold of myself I fainted due to the over crying and overstress over past few days.

The next day I opened my eyes I was already on my bed with my paijama. Everything went blank in my head and I sat there on the bed lifelessly. Soon the rumor reached to the duke and he called a physician over to check my health condition. But no matter who came into my room or went out of my room, I couldn't feel anything anymore. My attendant was worried for me I could see that but I have left with no energy to handle others nor talk out to them. Thought the only thing I did everyday was going to my son's room.

The same room where he grew up and became a depressed man... The only thing I could remember is the last time I was with him when he stopped breastfeeding. That was the time when he left my side and we couldn't have any time to see eachother anymore. Likewise Time passed and he grew up to be a man and had a strong personality like his father. The more he grew up the more he resembled his father rather than me and that's how he grew apart and he stopped coming to my room to spend his ten minutes of time he used to give and sat with me to drink tea like an adult. He lost his childhood at an early age which always made me sad.

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