Episode 12

After what happened between Benjamin and I, I'm mad at myself for treating him that way, but what I did went to my head, I loved his kiss, but then my father's voice popped into my head telling me that this was not something a man should do and that if that happened to him, he could forget that he has a family. He grew up saying that man with man was a disgusting thing and that he does not accept it, but when I saw Ben for the first time, I felt something inside me that I had never felt before, when my lips touched his I felt a huge desire to have him in my arms and make him mine, but my father appears in my mind and saying that it was disgusting and that real men didn't do that.

I yelled at Ben and said that this would never happen again, but actually I wanted more, I want more, I want more than a kiss I want him, his body, he doesn't leave my mind, I'm here with my thoughts when Guto bursts into the room where I am and drops a pile on top of me.

Guto - either you change your homophobic, prejudiced ways or you'll die alone, and I'm already fed up with your insults, I'm tired of the nasty words that come out of your mouth, you make a scene downstairs and then kiss the boy and then kick him out of here like a dog, a dog no because even animals don't deserve that kind of treatment, you're a jerk, I'm asking God to fix someone who loves him and makes him happy, and when you realize you love him it's too late, from now on I'm not talking to you, I'm mad at you, think about your actions, your attitudes and your words, think if it were you, if you would like to hear that crap you're talking about.

Matheo - I don't know what came over me, I kissed him, and then my thoughts went to my father, who always told me that these kinds of things are disgusting, but when I tasted his kiss, when I felt his soft mouth I went crazy, I want him, he's mine and woe to anyone who gets in my way.

Guto - but if you keep going like this you're going to lose him, and I'll tell you it won't be long, he's cute, kind and has a body to be envied by any man or woman, and if I hadn't liked Anthony I'd take him for myself.

Matheo - I would kill you before you even tried, I told you he's going to be mine and woe to anyone who gets in my way.

Guto - just don't hurt him, he left here devastated.

Matheo - I need to change my behavior around him.

Guto - then start now, and until you apologize to him don't talk to me, your words hurt a lot, I'm used to it but they're not, so please change at least with them.

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