“Sleeping Paralysis”

I opened my eyes & I was in a dark room.

My legs & hands, both are tied, tightly on chair.

But I can hear someone's footsteps approaching me. My eyes are blinking more than a million times. My whole body got freeze. I can't even move a bit. But still my hands, my legs are trembling in fear. I can hear dark, deep whispers...

But I Can't do anything. I know it's not real.

Likewise, Furthermore, It's sleeping paralysis.

It's sleeping paralysis.

I got sleeping paralysis.

But It haunts me more than anything. My breath stopped when I felt a strange & cold touch on my shoulder. It's making me shiver more. My tears are rolling down.

I want to come back into Reality....

I want to come back in reality...

Please, help me....

Please!

My tears are flowing like rain. I want to scream loudly, I want to jerk his hand, I just want to wake up.

But his whispers are echoing all over my ears. It's running into my blood veins. It's increasing my heartbeat.

He's touching me.

He's touching all over my body.

Feels like my brain nerves is going to burst anytime.

I'm feeling dizzy.

My head is spinning.

SAVE Me.!!

I screamed out loudly.

& I got up from bed. Thankfully, I got released. I'm fine nothing happened to me.

Look, Aria you're fine.

I want Mom, please I want her.

These thoughts are drowning me deeper into this hell. I want to run away from this hell. I want to escape from this scary hell.

I want to go away from myself. It's killing me.

My head is spinning, aching.

Ahhhhhh!

A sharp pain ran up into my brain then diverted down to my body.

It's making me insane.

Please save me.

I hold my head tightly. Those scary, deep, dirty whispers are echoing in my ear. It's running in my mind. I fell down on my knees. I can't bear it anymore.

“Ahhhh!”

“Ahhhh!“

“AHHHHHHHH!”

I started screaming badly. My screams are the only thing I can do for saving myself.

No one is going to listen me.

I know no one is going to listen me.

Still I'm screaming till my throat got soared. I fell down by resting my back with wall & I grab my knees closer to me while resting my hands on my ankles. I can feel my cheeks are dry & my tears; dead. I can feel the dryness on my both cheeks.

My eyes are aching,

My throat is aching,

My head is aching,

My whole body is paining but no one is here to cure my pain. There's no one who can heal me, who can cure my wounds. No one is here to hear my screams. No one is here to comfort me, to calm me, to hug me.

I'm longing for a warmth embrace. I'm dying for comfort. I want to run away from here, now.

Somehow I managed to stand straight & I aside the curtain a little & It's morning.

Mom, doesn't care about me.

She doesn't care, If I'm alive or dead.

Nanny, she also just pretend to care about me, but in reality she doesn't!

No, you're thinking wrong.

Everyone cares for you.

Mom & Nanny both loves you.

You are their world & no one can let their world shatter, so easily.

They can't destroy you.

They can't.

Tears are shedding off, again. I'm trying to hold my sobs & I'm arguing with myself. I always have to fight with myself. My really enemy is me.

I'm my own enemy. I'm my own destroyer. I'm my own curse. I'm the reason of my bad luck.

Happiness never stay with me for a long time.

She always runs like I'm a devil. She hates me.

I can't live a normal life. No, I can't.

I just want to go Californian, as soon as possible otherwise these nightmares are not going to let me live peacefully.

But what if after going there it doesn't stop?

What if they keep haunting me.

No, I want to leave this body.

I want to run out alone with my soul.

I hate my body. It makes me feel disgust.

Will I ever be able to run from it?

From My Past? Which is still haunting me.

I went out to downstairs & saw Nanny was doing dusting & all, but I chuckle sadly as I'm all alone.

There's no one to hear my scream which makes me bleed out with its silence. Which is digging its scariest & deepest hole inside me.

I'm afraid, What if they turn me completely insane?

What if I don't stay what I'm?

What if I really get lost in this darkness?

Will someone ever get me out of that darkness?

Is there's anyone who can do this?

As always I'm lost in my own thoughts, but I came back into reality when I heard Nanny's voice.

Her voice grabbed my all attention as always.

“Are you hungry?” she asked me while putting things at table. “You didn't even ate anything yesterday?” she added it with her question.

Her tone is really tensed. Her face is pale, seems like she's worried about me.

Is it true, or she's just pretending to be?

I'm asking so many questions from myself & I have 2 different answers, as always.

Ist is, She really do.

2nd is, She doesn't.

I'm always trapped in my own answers. I can't see someone completely bad nor completely good.

I'm having a deep conversation in my mind but I flinched & my breath stopped when I felt someone's touch on my shoulder.

But I exhaled when I realize she's Nanny.

“Sorry, I made you flinch.”, she said in sad tone like she regretted touching me & I want to hug her badly. 'Cause I know I need it badly, this time. But I don't know if I have to do, or not! I was still dealing with my confusion, when I felt a roughness against my hands as she held them into hers & like always she is wearing black leather gloves for my safety or for her own.

“I'm sorry, I c-can't help yo-you in this.” she said in cracking sound like she's holding her sob.

“It's not your fault. I'm my own curse. No one can stop it.” I said in sad tone but tried my best to not seem too sad, As it hurts my Nanny.

I'm indeed a devil, a selfish. How can I think so bad about her?!. She has been staying by my side but It's hurt when she didn't come to stop me. When she pretends like she didn't hear anything.

She pulled me towards dinning table & pulled chair a little to help me into settling down.

I sat down & she served me food in my plate.

It's steak of kidney beans with a green juice. It's smells like a mixture of Bitter Guard & Neem.

I don't like the juice but Kidney beans are my favorite. I can't resist them. I'm still staring at food.

But I hear her words, “I'm sorry, but Ma'am ordered me to gave you this everyday with breakfast. Bu-“ she stopped & rub my back “But if you don't want to drink it them no one will force you.”, she added to complete her sentence.

I didn't answer anything & started drinking it in one gulp. Finally, I can eat my favorite breakfast, now.

She sat beside me & told me to drink it slowly, but I just wanted to finish it, as soon as possible.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***