Chapter 15

Yoongi sat cross-legged on the rolling, well-manicured lawn of the cemetery, staring pensively at the slab of highly polished marble in front of him.  He didn't turn when he saw the two figures reflected in the marker.  He'd detected their unique scents as soon as they'd gotten out of the car.

"How'd you know where I was?" he asked.

Jungkook knelt down next to him, holding a bouquet of fresh cut flowers in his hands.

"After you left the studio TaeHyung and Jin-hyung told us about Choi Hyeon Jae. I know that when I'm upset I like to come here and talk things over with my Mom."

Seeing the look on his elder's face, the younger gestured off to his left.

"She's buried over there."

"Oh...I-I'm sorry," said Yoongi.

 "It was a while ago," Jungkook said with a half-hearted shrug. "It still hurts....but I'm sure you know all about that."

Yoongi nodded sadly.

"What about your Dad?" ventured the bodyguard.  "Is he...?"

"I honestly don't know," replied Jungkook, leaning back on his heels.  "Never met the man.  He took off before I was born."

He studied the flowers he was holding as he spoke.

"It was always just me and Eomma.  We lived in a rough area when I was young so I forced myself to grow up fast so I could protect and care for her.  Once I moved to the city and got the job with Hoseok-hyung, I brought her here to live with me.  She was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months after she moved in.  Pancreatic.  Stage four.  She died a couple of months after that.  The hyungs helped with the arrangements and made sure that I was able to give her a proper burial in a nice place like this.  She deserved it after everything she'd been through."

Yoongi nodded once again.  It sounded like the sort of thing Hoseok, Jimin and Namjoon would do.

"That...That was very decent of them."

"That's the way the hyungs are.  I suppose you could say they were the first positive male role models I ever had.  I owe them a lot."

Jungkook took two zinnias out of his bouquet, glancing from the stone in front of them to Yoongi and back.

"May I?"

"Yes.  Of course.  Please."

The younger man placed the flowers gently at the base of the marker, before rising to his feet to bow a full ninety degrees towards the grave.

"Rest well, Choi Hyeon Jae."

He then turned and smiled at TaeHyung.

"I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about.  If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on my Mom.  I'll be over there if you need me."

TaeHyung rested his hand on the Alpha's shoulder to steady himself as he rose on his tiptoes to place a kiss on the younger man's cheek.

"Thank you, jagiya.  I'll catch up with you soon."

The Omega watched Jungkook walk away before taking a seat on the grass next to his hyung.

"He's a good kid," said Yoongi, with more than a touch of fondness in his voice.

"He is," said Tae. "He's overcome a lot.  Kind of like us."

"I was sure he was going to punch me the next time he saw me," said Yoongi.

"He thought about it.  We both did."

"What changed your mind?"

"Who says we have?" Tae kept his eyes forward as he plucked some blades of grass and began twisting them with his fingers.  "Maybe we just decided this wouldn't be the appropriate time or place."

The pair sat in silence until Yoongi cleared his throat and asked,  "Where's Hoseok-ah?"

"Jin-hyung is taking him back to the apartment."

"Is he...okay?"

"Hoseok-hyung?  Physically he's fine but....what you said...it really hurt him."

"I know.." said Yoongi.  "But I couldn't help it.  He keeps taking these dangerous and foolhardy risks that put his life in jeopardy and..."

"Ever think to ask why he does things like that?"

"Umm...because he's an idiot?"

Tae shot the Alpha a vicious side eye.

"No...he's an idiot because he cares about you.   The chances he's taking are to protect himself."

"That's ridiculous," scoffed Yoongi.  "What he's been doing is literally the exact opposite of protecting himself."

"Listen, hyung..." sighed TaeHyung.  "This might be hard for you to understand because you're an Alpha but for the rest of us...there are plenty of fights that no one else sees that require a bunch of different ways of protecting ourselves."

The bodyguard's brow furrowed as he turned to study his young friend.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that not all Alphas are like you, Namjoon-hyung and Kookie."

TaeHyung twisted the blades of grass with increasing force as  he spoke.

"And whether you realize it or not, our world is set up so that the rest of us have to fight  - not just for our spot at the table - but also for our right to the same portion of the meal.  And anytime an Omega like myself or Jimin-hyung or even a Beta like Jin-hyung or Hoseok-hyung shows the tiniest bit of vulnerability then those higher up the food chain immediately use it against us - "What do you expect?  They're just a helpless little Omega...."

The younger man flicked the grass into the air and watched it drift away in the breeze.

"Now combine that sort of ingrained social conditioning with the abandonment that Hobi-hyung experienced from his ex and it's a recipe for what you view as unnecessary chances but to him it's an attempt to feel like he has some form  of control over what happens to him and to make sure that the people around him don't see him as merely some fragile and defenseless thing to be looked down on or pitied."

The Omega turned to face Yoongi who was waving his hands vigorously in protest.

"But I don't see him like that!  Not at all!  Hob-ah one of the strongest and most capable people I've ever met in my life- of any designation!"

"You may feel that way but your words and actions can be interpreted differently."

"What do you mean?" asked Yoongi.

"I know it may not seem like it to you..." Tae leaned back as he searched for the right words.  "I'm sure in your mind you were just trying to protect someone you care about from being hurt but what you said today...it wasn't helpful.  You may have thought you were saying 'I was frightened that something bad happened to you' but what he heard was 'You're weak and stupid and can't be trusted to make decisions for yourself'."

"W-what?!  No!  I would never say something like that to him!" spluttered Yoongi.

"Unfortunately, what we mean to say and how people interpret what we say are often two very different things, hyung," said TaeHyung.  "And you can't 'unspeak' something, no matter how badly you want to."

"****.   I have royally screwed things up, haven't I?"

Tae looked him dead in the eyes and nodded.

"Yes.  Yes, you have."

"Then what do I do to fix it?"

"First, you need to remember that a person can't unlearn a lifetime's worth of thoughts and behaviors overnight.  Hobi-hyung has had years of being told he's 'less than' other people simply because he's a Beta and that affects how he processes information.  It will take a long time and a lot of positive reinforcement to start believing something other than that."

Yoongi nodded thoughtfully as the Omega continued.

"Second, keep in mind that Hoseok-hyung had no way of knowing that what he did today was a trigger for you.  And even though it scared the shit out of you, you have to admit that what he did was truly admirable."

The Alpha's eyebrows shot up.  "How do you figure that?"

Tae looked at his hyung as if the answer was obvious.

"He instinctively protected someone weaker and more frightened than himself, in spite of the heartbreak that person caused him in the past.  That takes a special kind of heart and courage, hyung."

Yoongi's shoulders slumped as he dropped his head into his hands.

"****.  You're right. I really didn't mean to go off on him the way I did, it's just....in my mind all I could see was another lifeless body and..."

The Alpha looked up and stared into the cloudless sky above them.

"That's why I came here to try and work it out before facing him again."

"I get that but..." Tae picked at his shoelaces then said, "Hyung?  Do you remember the roommate I was assigned when I moved into the dorms my first year of uni?"

"The one who wore his shoes inside, refused to shower and insisted upon eating that horrid limburger cheese concoction in your room? How could I forget?" huffed Yoongi.  "You called me at least three times a day - every day for the first two weeks -  complaining about him."

"That's the one.  Do you remember what you finally told me to do?"

"Yeah... I told you to stop bitching to me and go find someone who could actually do something about fixing your problem."

"Exactly.  And that's just what I did.  I went to the Administrator of the Housing Department, explained how my situation was impacting my studies and asked to be transferred to a different dorm so I could room with my friend Min Ho instead.  It took some time but they were finally able to arrange it and things worked out just fine."

Yoongi stared at Tae for a long moment before shaking his head in defeat.

"I have a feeling your trying to tell me something important with this story, TaeTae but I'm honestly too drained to figure it out at the moment so could you please just spell it out for me?"

"Fair enough...I'm trying to tell you that instead of sitting here bemoaning your recent actions to a slab of marble, why don't you go make it right with the living, breathing human being that actually needs to hear what you have to say?"

As the older man considered that advice, the younger stood, brushed off his trousers and offered his hand to his hyung.

The Omega helped the Alpha to his feet then chuckled at the expression on Yoongi's face.

"What's that look for, hyung?"

"Nothing," smiled Yoongi as he ruffled Tae's hair.  "I was just wondering when that little pup who struggled for months to learn how to tie his own shoes got to be so smart".

"I had an excellent teacher and role  model,"  said Tae as he winked at his friend.  "I learned everything I know from the best hyung in the whole, wide world -  the incomparable Kim Seokjin."

"Yah! Aish!" fussed Yoongi.  "When are you going to show me some respect, you little brat?"

"When you let me drive your car, Grump." Tae grinned as he began walking off to reunite with Jungkook.  "Now go back to the apartment and apologize to Hobi-hyung for being an ***.  And don't forget to bring a peace offering.  It never hurts to show that you're making an effort.  Just because we want to be seen as strong and independent it doesn't mean we don't like nice things."

xxx

Yoongi stood up straight, inhaled deeply and shifted the items he was carrying just enough to enable him to knock on the guest room door.

He'd already dutifully endured the reprimands he'd received from the others as soon as he'd stepped into the apartment, including Namjoon's stern lecture, Jin's disapproving glare and Jimin's irate dope slap.  Now it was time to face the true test.

As he waited for the door to open, Yoongi once again mentally rehearsed the carefully crafted apology he'd been working on since he'd left the cemetery.

Having received no response, he was gathering his nerve to knock again when he heard a soft, shuffling noise inside before the door opened to reveal a somber, expressionless Hoseok.

Yoongi immediately dipped his head and stared at the floor.

"Jung Hoseok, may I please be granted the unmerited privilege of entering your room to speak with you?"

An impassive Hoseok remained standing in the threshold for what seemed to the Alpha like an eternity.  He'd almost given hope of succeeding when the Beta shifted out of the way, finally allowing him access to the space.

Yoongi entered and turned towards his host, still avoiding eye contact.  He cleared his throat and spoke in a solemn tone.

"Before I commence with my formal apology, please accept these gifts as a small token of my great remorse regarding my earlier behavior."

He presented the Beta a heavy glass vase overflowing with a variety of beautiful flowers using both hands as he gave a respectful bow.

"I spoke at length with the woman at the shop.  I explained to her the exact sentiments I wished to convey.  She assured me these were the appropriate varieties to communicate that message."

Hobi wordlessly accepted the gorgeous arrangement, giving the fragrant blossoms a small sniff before setting it gently on the bedside table.

Yoongi then opened a canvas bag he had slung over his shoulder and pulled out a large, beautifully wrapped cardboard box, which he again offered with both hands and a bow.

"My deepest apologies that I didn't have time to have something custom made but I wished to present this right away.  If you do not find it suitable then I will purchase a replacement or contact a tailor and have something bespoke fashioned for you as soon as possible."

A slightly overwhelmed Hoseok accepted the package and opened it to find a vintage leather motorcycle jacket constructed with what he soon realized was a lightweight, Kevlar lining.  When he pulled it from the box he was immediately struck with the overwhelming aroma of black coffee and campfires - Yoongi's signature scent.

"Is - is this yours?" he asked in a soft voice.

Yoongi gave a hesitant nod while still avoiding Hoseok's gaze.

"Yes.  I'm sorry.  I know a gift like this ought to be new but, as I said, I wanted to present you with something right away."

Before Hoseok could reply, the Alpha then shocked him by lowering himself to his knees then prostrating himself into a full formal bow.

The wide-eyed Beta stood frozen in stunned silence.  It was incredibly rare for an older person to afford this honor to any person younger than them but for an Alpha to humble themselves this way to someone of a lower designation was absolutely unheard of.

Yoongi pressed his forehead to the floor and took a deep breath before beginning his formal declaration.

 "Jung Hoseok, I understand if you do not wish to speak with me, much less accept my apology.  I insulted and disrespected you, both of which are inexcusable. There is no justification for what I said or for my behavior, however please know that I regret the words that I spoke and the manner in which I spoke them.  I hold you in the highest regard and I feel terrible that I lead you to believe anything other than that.  My deepest hope is that you will perhaps consider allowing me the opportunity to make things right with you but I will understand if you refuse to accept this offering of remorse.  I will abide by your wishes either way."

Hoseok blushed and shifted uncomfortably at the profound display of humility being played out before him.

"Aish...get up you Pygmy Penitent,"  he muttered, however Yoongi remained motionless until the Beta implored once more in a soft voice, "Please, Yoongi-hyung.  Stand up."

The Alpha rose to his feet and exhaled slowly before daring to look Hoseok in the face.

"I'm truly sorry, Hoseok-ah."

The Beta nodded as he gave Yoongi a small, cautious smile.

"Thank you, hyung.   I'm not going to lie and pretend that I wasn't hurt by what you said but... well, considering my past history of saying things I wish I hadn't in a fit of emotion I suppose it would be insanely hypocritical for me to hold you to a higher standard.  As a matter of fact...I - I have an apology gift of my own for you."

Yoongi shook his head firmly as he waved his hands in protest.

"No, Hoseok-ah.  You have absolutely nothing to apologize for."

Hoseok reached down to pick up a small paper bag that he tentatively offered to Yoongi.

"I think that I do.  While I didn't know the specifics of what you had gone through, I did know that you'd experienced a traumatic loss and I didn't take that into account when responding to you."

Yoongi accepted the bag with both hands and yet another respectful bow as Hoseok continued.

"I'm sorry.  It's not much.  I had to beg Jin-hyung to let me stop someplace on the way back from the studio. He finally agreed to allow a short trip into the market and that was only if I agreed to having him and two patrolmen escort me."

The Beta chuckled at the memory.

"With my mask, hat and escort the poor checkout girl couldn't decide if I was an idol, a chaebol or a mental patient.  Jin-hyung said I should have pretended to be all three rolled into one just to mess with her."

The Alpha opened the bag to find a half dozen ripe tangerines and a bag of his favorite brand of coffee.

Hoseok studied Yoongi's face warily.  "I'm sorry it's not more but Jin-hyung assured me those were your favorites.  I hope he was right."

The bodyguard smiled a warm, gummy smile.  "They are.  Thank you very much."

He clutched the bag tightly and his eyes darted around the room as he worked up the nerve to ask the one thing that had been preying on his mind.

 "Listen...Hoseok-ah...I-I know that I might be pressing my luck here but may I ask a question?  Feel free to tell me to **** off if you don't want to answer it."

The Beta arched an eyebrow as he tilted his head to one side.

"Well, with a lead in like that, I need you to ask just to satisfy my curiosity."

Yoongi paused to try and quell the butterflies in his chest.

"Why...why did Yooshuk come to visit you?"

"Ah...." sighed Hoseok.  "Well, apparently after seeing the reaction to us at the nightclub, Yooshuk was terrified that my ex wanted me back.  Dantae had to go out of town on business today so after a couple of glasses of White Zinfandel Yooshuk worked up the courage to visit the studio to ask if I had any interest in rekindling the relationship and if so, to beg me to form a triad with them rather than taking his place outright."

Yoongi swallowed hard against the bile rising in the back of his throat.

"Oh...I see...What...What did you tell him?"

“The same thing I told Dantae when he made me an almost identical offer two years ago after I learned of his affair. Not interested.”

The Alpha slowly released the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

“May I ask why?”

“I don't know.  Perhaps because I never scored well on the ‘plays well with others’ section of the report card?“

Hoseok tried to sound lighthearted but failed so he gave Yoongi a feeble shrug instead.

 “Honestly?  I might have considered it if Dantae had come to me as soon as he started having feelings for Yooshuk.  Instead he waited until he got caught before suggesting it and then it just seemed like a last ditch effort.  A way to have his cake and eat it too rather than a sincere attempt at an actual relationship.  As far as I'm concerned, a real partnership relies on trust and I… well… I just didn’t trust him after that, you know?”

Yoongi nodded soberly.  "That's understandable."

Hoseok sat on the edge of the bed and adjusted the sleeve of his shirt before looking back up at Yoongi.

"Trust..." he ventured slowly.  "It-it's really important to me, hyung."

"As it should be." The Alpha shifted his feet then said,  "So - just to clarify -  you're not getting back together with your ex?"

Hoseok coughed as he choked on thin air at the mere insinuation.

"Uh....No.  Nuh-uh.  No way, no how.  Not a chance.  That ship has not only sailed, it sailed, got hit by an iceberg and sank - never to be seen or heard from again. Hell, as far as I know there's a team of oceanographers still scouring the ocean floor in search of the wreckage."

A relieved smile crept across Yoongi's face.

"Ah....That...that's good."

The room grew quiet and Hoseok bit his lip before gathering the courage to ask a question of his own.

"Can it be my turn now, hyung?"

"Your turn for what?"

"To ask you a question."

"Absolutely.  Go ahead."

"Tell me about Choi Hyeon Jae."

"That wasn't worded in the form of a question...."

Hoseok gave him a exasperated look which caused Yoongi to dip his head.

"Apologies..." he murmured.  "Defense mechanism."

The Alpha fidgeted with the paper bag still in his hands.  "Are you sure you want to know?  The topic tends to make most people...uncomfortable."

The Beta smiled as he motioned for Yoongi to take a seat on the bed.

"I'm sure.  In case you haven't noticed, I'm not most people."

"Oh...believe me...I've noticed," Yoongi said with a shy grin.  He placed the bag holding the gifts from Hoseok on the bedside table then sat down next to the Beta.

"So...How much do you want to hear?  It's...kind of a long story."

Hoseok scooted over and leaned against the headboard before patting the duvet beside him.

"I got nowhere to be.  How about you?"

Yoongi hesitated before crawling onto the bed and settling in beside Hoseok.  He folded his hands over his stomach and stared at a hairline crack on the ceiling, gathering his thoughts for a long minute before starting to speak.

"Our initial meeting was not particularly auspicious, I'm afraid.  I - I didn't really make the best first impression on Choi Hyeon Jae..."

Hobi fake gasped as he clutched an imaginary strand of pearls around his neck.

"No!  You?  I'm shocked!"

Yoongi made a face but it was more affectionate than annoyed.

"Yah! Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"My apologies..." said Hoseok with a sincere bow of his head.  "That was one of my defense mechanisms.  Please.  Tell me. I really do want to know."

Yoongi leaned back into the pillows, got comfortable and began to talk.

As he opened up and related his story the pair slowly inched closer together. Eventually the physical and emotional fatigue of the day caught up with him until finally the exhausted Alpha drifted off to sleep with his head resting on Hoseok's shoulder.

The Beta watched him fondly then shifted his attention to the beautiful bouquet at his bedside, his thoughts turning to what Yoongi had said about deliberately seeking certain flowers to convey a specific message.

He found the thought of the bodyguard making that sort of effort incredibly touching.  On the rare occasions his ex had sent flowers as a peace offering, Dantae had always just unthinkingly ordered the standard, pre-made dozen roses.

Moving slowly as to not wake the Alpha resting beside him, Hoseok slipped his phone out of his pocket and found a site dedicated to the meanings behind different flowers.

A lump formed in his throat as he researched the varieties contained in the carefully constructed bouquet.

-  White tulips symbolize the giver is asking for the earnest forgiveness of a special person. Giving someone white tulips indicates that you wish for them to forgive you and that you want a fresh start. It denotes that you want your relationship to be pure and seen as worthy, with any mistakes in the past forgiven and forgotten.

 - In giving Daffodils  you are telling the recipient that you wish to start a new period that is full of gladness and to put away the past and is a way to beg your special someone to forgive you.

- Purple hyacinth are an emblem of forgiveness which mean "I am sorry," "Please forgive me" and "Sorrow" and represent the fact that you are sorrowful over an event and desperately wish for the person to forgive you.

- Jasmine symbolizes love and respect and is given to someone you both admire and care about.  The blue jasmine flower is rare, and is a symbol of honesty and trust. If you give someone a blue jasmine, you are telling them that you trust them with your life as well as  conveying the message that they are very important to you.

A lone tear ran down Hoseok's cheek, which he wiped off with the back  of his hand.  His emotions must have been reflected in  his scent, because within moments Yoongi began twitching restlessly at his side.

The Beta instinctively leaned over and pressed a tender kiss on the sleeping Alpha's forehead which had the immediate effect of calming the bodyguard to the point where he mumbled something incoherent before snuggling back into Hoseok's shoulder.

"Aish...Settle.  Everything's okay," whispered Hoseok.  "Sleep well. You're forgiven, my frustrating, foul-mouthed florist."

Notes:

A/N - All flowers have multiple meanings, so I selected the ones that most aligned with my characters motivations.

(For those who wondered, the zinnias that JK left on Choi Hyeon Jae's grave can symbolize the idea of saying goodbye to someone who is important to you. Zinnia flowers are also often given to those who are feeling lost or without a direction or to people who need to resolve major problems. I chose them to represent JK's acknowledgement and understanding of the loss Yoongi experienced and how the pain of that loss still affects him.)

I hope this chapter met with your approval! Buckle up for what comes next. Things are about to get real. The story is nearing its climax which will force our characters to make some tough choices between what will make their loved ones happy versus what will keep them safe...

Until then, please tell me what you think so far! :)

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***