1st

Funny!! Isn't it...i started writing fragments of this months ago but still ...here i am , at square zero.

I didn't knew what to do.but I've always wanted to write it

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as you all don't know about me, it'll be ok to disclose the facts that i was going to throw this mortal body from height and wanted to let this soul free.

Someone told me , a writer only gets fame and acknowledgement after he gets free for this living cage and sets himself free.

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no these aren't the exact words, but to make them a bit fancy, i modified them.

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A writer gets what he wants after he dies...thats what they said. So i tried to unlock myself but it was getting more and more scaring with each step.

I admired people who could express how they want. I wanted to die ..slowly and painfully but never succeed.  Its greed that binds me and cages me more....and now it has become a reason for my dispair.

. I want to express but that day i wrote a bit of this , i didn't have anything to say...anything to write.

Maybe i did...

maybe i didn't .

Now im more confused

.  Its killing me

. Im scared. 

I don't want to say anything i want to shut up...but if i do, it doesn't turn out as planned.  And if i don't i end up spitting nonsense like a damned moron. It can't be helped.

Im scared. It makes me sick. Im tired of it.

This thing is killing me inside.  I want them to erase me before it does.

Its funny again, to think that I had to collect my thoughts of one month and when I post it, it's even less than five hundred words, and now I can only save this file in draft section where it'll be saved in for like days...it can extend to weeks too maybe...it's weird...it's not weird to have five hundred words, it sure is weird to think that you wrote your thoughts daily....four or maybe seven times at least in a single day but when you combine them, you end up cutting most of the lines …erasing and erasing again, and what you get is only two hundred and eighty-two words... and you don't actually feel sad about how many foolish things you finally chose to type and post, but you sure do feel sad when the number of words remaining are only two hundred and eighteen... and you don't have anything to write again. You can't think of anything..your mind is blank like piece of paper..and then you suddenly start thinking about the tree from where that paper came from...you visit deep earth where the tree was born...but still that paper is blank...

and that's how i managed to complete five hundred words and seven in few minutes

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