Episode 18

...BELEN CLINT...

Every night, I pray for my pregnancy to proceed well and for my baby to grow healthy. I hope to carry it to term—my attending doctor assures me things are fine, but I can't shake my fear.

I plead with God, the Virgin Mary, and all the saints that Mrs. Marta, a devout believer, has recommended to me, hoping my ex won't find me. I know he'll kill me if I ever return, even against my will, and I can't die. I have a vital reason to live.

Though my pregnancy worries me, as well as staying hidden, Mrs. Marta's declining health is also a concern. She's become quite frail with age, yet she insists that I remain calm, claiming she won't pass away until she meets my child. Her words often strike a sensitive chord, leaving me in tears.

It seems I was born to lose: first, the only person who ever gave me anything of value—their name. Then I lost my freedom, my hopes, and nearly my life. Now, I dread losing her after everything she's done for me. Death is a part of life, yet I can't help but feel a profound sorrow over it all.

Mrs. Marta has knitted some things for my unborn baby whose gender remains a mystery. She is convinced it will be a girl, but I have my doubts, as each pregnancy is different and this being my first, I have no basis for comparison.

The nurse who often assists the doctor told me about the differences she experienced with her daughter and son, but my own feelings have been unique.

They say girls cause mothers to have round bellies, while boys make them more pointed, but until that becomes apparent, I can't be sure. It's best to wait, and as long as the baby is healthy, it will be welcome.

Mrs. Marta has supported me more than I can ever repay, providing a monthly stipend for savings and disclosing where she keeps her modest reserves, in case I ever need them. She's the closest I've had to a grandmother or mother, and I hold deep affection for her.

What pains me is that she relies on me, having no one else to turn to. What kind of children does she have? For months, they've neither visited nor called, nor have they sent anyone to assist her in any way.

It must be heartbreaking to reach a certain age and feel forgotten, even by your own children, but nevertheless, she continues to smile and view life optimistically. I wish to one day possess her incredible strength.

(...)

I'm almost five months pregnant, and my belly keeps growing. I worry about clothing as I don't want to spend money, but I enjoy watching my body change.

Once, I believed everything could be rosy, but it wasn't. However, I'm grateful my life didn't end in the horrific way it surely would have, had I stayed with that monster who professed love through beatings, threats, abuse, and humiliation.

(...)

When Mrs. Marta naps, I clean or watch TV shows or movies. A few days ago, I discovered an intriguing program featuring real-life testimonials, with psychologists providing insights and advice to those involved.

One case particularly caught my attention.

"Good afternoon, viewers, welcome to 'Real-Life Cases.' My name is Veronica Irizarry. Let's applaud our experts"...- the introduction was a bit lengthy with each one acknowledged - "today, we're discussing toxic relationships, which many of you may find familiar. Psychopaths claim to love but don't know how. If you're a victim of violence, call 911, and if you'd like to share your testimony by phone, use the following number"...

"My ex is a psychopath, an interesting program," I murmured softly, settling in to listen attentively.

"She's a victim and will appear incognito for safety, using the pseudonym Agustina. Please tell us what happened and how you're here today," Veronica encouraged, attentively as the lady began her tale.

"I met Luis at university. I was a scholarship student with no family support, working hard to afford university expenses. Luis was my rock, smart, helping me study, showering me with attention no one had given me before, which led to me falling for him," she started, tears streaming down her face as the host offered a tissue.

"Luis professed his love, and we began a relationship. Eventually, he suggested we move in together, and I agreed. But within weeks, his jealousy became possessive, monitoring even my trips to the store. He began with threats, which I never thought would become physical," she cried again.

"One day, threats weren't enough, and he resorted to blows. Always followed by remorse, which, foolishly, I believed. The abuse worsened after his jealous rages, and after violating me, he'd claim he was proving his manhood. I fell pregnant and endured a miscarriage at his hands"—my own tears flowed, feeling her anguish, foreseeing my potential fate had I not escaped.

"I escaped, but he found me, and everything worsened"...-she recounted her ordeal up to her moment of freedom, but this man was never caught because the name in police records was false. Chilling.

"How does one stop a psychopath? How do they relinquish their obsession with a partner? I understand they're incapable of love," asked Veronica, and I sat frozen, waiting for the answer.

"An excellent question. Typically, these individuals move on when they find a new victim to dominate if not apprehended, as justice sometimes fails to act. They need power over someone to survive. It's vital to understand a psychopath isn't just someone who lost control once but continually cannot master themselves. Violence escalates with each act, and daily, people fall victim to their partners. A restraining order won't stop a psychopath. Seek help; we're displaying contact information"...- the psychologist continued, and I was filled with growing concern.