Episode 16

...XAVIER AMERY...

I decided that perhaps I could give myself the chance to fall in love again, although when I see a woman and have her near, my insecurities from the past strike me and assault me without the slightest pity.

I am a man with needs, like everyone else, but often it is the mind that dominates the heart and the body's instincts, as is particularly the case for me. My mind has taken control of everything.

After parting with my ex-wife, I never loved again. I loved her with all my soul; I would've given her one of my organs if she needed it. I cared for her deeply and I know I tried to save our marriage; I tried to make her happy. I know I did everything and more. What man attends couples therapy when the marriage is so young? One who is madly in love with his wife and is terrified of losing her.

Even so, my life has never been the same since she left. I know I cling to her memory to ensure that no woman could ever play with me again. When I want to trust someone, I remember what I have been through and I give up.

Now I am colder, more bitter, more irritable. Where my employees used to smile, they now only look at me with a certain fear.

The only downside is that Chris witnesses and lives through all this, though I maintain a lot of respect in front of him. I never spoke ill of his mother, nor will I. When he grows up, if he wishes, I'll tell him the story in a way that doesn't hurt him. His mother wasn't ready to be a mother; she loved her modeling career too much and had many ambitions to advance professionally, so she left it all to chase her dreams. It's better to say something like that than to tell him she was terrible, that he never mattered to her, that instead of being with us, she went off to frolic with those who were supposed to keep her in shape.

The only person who can make me change my mind is my son, and if he feels lonely, maybe it's time to have a serious relationship.

I tried to get Chloe and Chris to meet and spend time together, but my son resists the situation. He doesn't want her specifically to enter his life, and I don't know how to change that. We go out together, but he sticks to me, and to everything she offers, he simply grimaces and completely ignores her.

"You need to discipline him; I am your girlfriend, and he needs to respect me," she complained for the twentieth time or perhaps more. I couldn't help but roll my eyes because I already know by heart everything she is about to say.

"Do you want me to force a three-year-old to like you?" I looked at her with absolute seriousness; it's illogical, and I can't do that; it would even be ridiculous.

"Then perhaps you should send him to some boarding school for... special children," she said under her breath, but I heard her.

She was going to leave, a classic move of hers. The old saying goes, throw the stone and hide your hand. In this case, she makes an inappropriate comment and then leaves, but this time I couldn't let it slide.

"I want to make one thing perfectly clear: my son is at the top of my priority list, and I won't get rid of him for your happiness. This is where it ends, do not come looking for me again," I grabbed her arm and looked her in the eyes to make sure she knew I wasn't playing.

"But Xavi, my love," she began to shed tears, nothing more than senseless attempts at manipulation.

"But nothing, this is over, leave and do not come back," her face changed and she revealed her rage, wiping away her fake tears angrily.

"Because of that brat and because you're useless and boring in bed, you're going to end up alone," she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Another comment about my performance in bed, another woman saying something that has become all too familiar. No matter how different they are, it's always the same comment at the end.

I buried myself in my work to vent my frustration; I can't start drinking because that would set a bad example for my son, and he's at an age where he will later repeat behavior patterns.

A week later, it was just my son and me for everything.

"Is Chloe not coming back anymore?" His discomfort with her was impossible to hide.

"No son, do you want her to come?" I asked curiously, watching for his reaction.

"NO DADDY!" he shouted.

"Why don't you want her here, son?" I gauged his reaction to understand his reasons for despising her.

"Because she is mean; she told me you were going to send me away from you and I don't want to go. She isn't good, and she didn't love me," his eyes seemed brimming with tears.