Cameron is unhinged, I saw him at university today. Mario, a classmate, offered to drive me home because Kristin couldn’t make it. What he doesn’t know, and will never find out, is that he's gay. His antics and sheer zaniness make me laugh, but I can hardly picture him in a courtroom, where he has to maintain a serious demeanor.
I’m now waiting for his message, but my conscience is screaming at me to call it off, to end things amicably. Then my heart and body betray me, demanding the exact opposite.
My mother is sleeping, worn out from Mrs. Jenna's "little gathering." Thankfully, she hired waiters to serve, so she'll just be overseeing things. The best part is, I won't be around.
The very thought of Miss Elle on Cameron's arm gives me an odd feeling in my stomach.
I lie down on my bed while I wait for the message. I’ve had a bath and eaten something my mom saved for me.
My eyes feel heavy. I close them just for a moment, and when I open them, my mother is calling—it's time to get up.
I check the time and it’s six in the morning. I grab my phone—nothing. An immediate lump forms in my throat, and for the first time since we’ve been together, I feel a strong urge to cry over him. I take a shower; no tears, he’s not worth it.
I set about preparing breakfast when suddenly...
"Matilde, go to my room and clean up the floor, please," he says, standing at the kitchen door.
I ignore him; that's not her job. That's what Luci is for, but Matilde, who has a massive crush on him, races to do his bidding.
Then I feel him close behind me. "Sorry, babe. I had unexpected visitors," he whispers against my nape. My body trembles, but I stand frozen.
"You better leave, your mom or someone else could come in," I try to rationalize.
"You know she won't come in here, and I couldn't care less about the other employees," he responds, stirring something within my naivete. "I want to give you this," he says, turning me around to face him.
He pulls out a small box from his pants pocket and hands it over.
"I can't accept this," I say, looking into those beautiful blue eyes that resemble a clear sky.
He opens the box to reveal a lovely, simple bracelet and places it on my wrist. I’m petrified, having forgotten where we are. All I want is to throw myself at him, to kiss him, to have him.
"Thank you, it's really nice. You shouldn't have," even though I have turned down every gift from him in the past, I couldn't refuse this one.
He leaves the kitchen and I’m left leaning against the counter with a racing heart.
Matilde comes in a few minutes later and eyes the bracelet.
"Where'd you steal that from?" she taunts.
I ignore her, not in the mood to engage. It’s always the same with her.
I serve breakfast and everyone glances at the gift, but thankfully, they keep their comments to themselves. Cameron just gives me a different kind of smile. Or maybe I'm just imagining things.
After cleaning up from breakfast, my mother asks me to go to our own home.
"Jackeline, I need to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with me," her words send a chill through me—is she...
"What is your relationship with young Cameron?" she asks, leaving me breathless.
"Mom, I..."
"Don't lie to me, Jackeline," she insists. "I saw you with him in the kitchen, how close you were, and don't think I'm stupid. I've noticed the way you two look at each other, and sometimes you're not in your room," I swallow hard, realizing that I thought I was deceiving her, but I was the one who was deceived.
"Mom, I don't know what to say, Cameron and I—we have something," I confess, ashamed.
"Daughter, how many times have I told you not to get involved with the bosses' son, or the bosses themselves? They’ll never see you as anything more than their maid; he's just using you. He's got a girlfriend, and they'll probably get engaged soon, and then what, honey?"
Her words bring tears to my eyes. "Don't cry, my love," she lifts my chin with her hand. "He's not worth it. Just remember our place, as hard as it is, that's who we are." Mrs. Jenna would definitely not approve, and who knows what she’s capable of.
She's right, my mom is right. I’ve never deluded myself about who I am; I know my place, I know who I am to Cameron: his distraction, his plaything. Yet, it's a role I accepted. My mom embraces me tightly, conveying that unique maternal comfort that eases our sorrows.
In the afternoon, I head to university but something feels wrong in my chest; a bad omen, perhaps.
"Kristin, what happened yesterday? Why weren't you at class?"
"I'm sorry, I felt sick, probably ate something bad, but I'm fine now," we laugh about it.
I fill her in on yesterday’s events; she knows everything about my relationship with Cameron.
"Girl, I don't know what to say, love is crazy," I roll my eyes.
"Love? Are you insane?" I hit her arm. "I'm not in love with him," I say, or so I think.
"Sure, because there's nothing worse than the willfully blind," she retorts, rolling her eyes as I mimic her gesture.
During class, we're tasked with presenting a defense for a crime; I'll be the defense attorney, Kristin the prosecutor. We need to start working on it, and I'm thrilled—these kinds of exercises are what will determine if we have what it takes or if we need to reconsider our career path.
I get home to find my mom absent; the "little gathering" must still be going on. I'm tempted to peer in, but decide against it.
I'm researching for the presentation when the door suddenly bursts open. I'm only in my nightgown.
Cameron barges in, clearly drunk but still looking sharp in his suit. I bite my lip at the sight of him.
He's onto me like a starving lion, kissing, touching with a frenzy—"We have minutes, your mom won't come and no one will look for me here"—he says between kisses.
My nightgown disappears in a flash, his lips exploring every inch and sending my senses into overdrive. As he enters me, my initial cry of pain quickly turns into moans of pleasure. Having him ravage me like a madman is intoxicating; I don't care that I'm just the maid, the one everyone looks down upon. Right then, I'm the delicacy that Cameron devours as if he'd starve without it.
Once he's done, he leaves again—a part of him I disfavor. I get it, staying creates emotional ties, but I desperately wish he'd let me sleep beside him just once.
The next day, I get up as usual, strangely happy about Cameron's visit and the bracelet he gave me, even though my foolish mind is brimming with wishful thinking. I get ready to serve breakfast; it's late, almost nine. As I enter the dining room with the juice, I see Elle’s hand on Cameron’s on the table. My heart almost stops at the sight of the ring on her finger.
I blink, trying to come to terms with what I’m seeing.
"Jackeline, move it, serve the juice. We don't need to see your face," Miss Mia commands. I catch Cameron's eye, but he avoids mine. I pour the juice and rush to the kitchen, hands on the counter, steadying my breath. They’re engaged, getting married.
I knew this day would come. Though I prepared myself, the reality hits hard; I begin to hyperventilate.
"Look at the black girl," Matilde mocks, pointing to Elle's ring. "They haven’t stopped talking about the engagement," she says gloatingly. Foolish me, harboring some hope.
"How wonderful for them," I reply, feigning indifference while falling apart inside.
After cleaning up, I go back to my own home where my mom looks at me sadly; she was present when he proposed. What is this burning sensation in my chest?
I call Kristin in the evening; I need to get out. She's ecstatic that we're finally going out together. She'll pick me up at 10 pm and mentions she's bringing a friend. After dinner, I get dressed and wait for my friend's call.
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