Seeing him step out of his car makes my feet freeze on the spot. I don't know how this man can cause all these feelings in me, my heart quickens, and I feel a flame of fire in my cheeks, as in the lower part as well.
That's because I can't deny it but this man lights up my body in a way that I can't control.
I see when he lifts the corner of his lips in a hint of a smile that makes me melt inside; I know he enjoys knowing everything his presence causes me. At home, I can avoid him without any problems because he does not want to expose our secret to his family, but here, what does this man intend?
"Who's that hot guy, friend?" My friend asks me making me react.
"I don't know, I don't know him"I tell her without looking at her as I can't take my eyes off him.
"That's your boss, friend" She whispers to me softly, but excitedly.
"No"I want to appear strong but I'm not as my legs feel like jelly.
I grab her hand to go to the stop to wait for the taxi, since my friend didn't bring her car today.
I walk past him as if I didn't know him, trying to ignore him, but as I pass the smell of his perfume impregnates my nostrils making me melt even more.
"Jackeline, let's go—" He orders as if I am his property, my mind doesn't want to obey but my body has already started to approach him.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Dubois, I can't go with you, that wouldn't be right"I see him sigh, his eyes warning me that he's upset.
"Fine"He says, opening the door to get in, then gets out again—"Let's go, Jackeline, I won't repeat it."
"Friend, go, don't worry about me, I know you're dying to do it"She gives me a kiss on the cheek and heads off to the stop.
Quietly, I get in the car. He doesn't say anything, he just snorts like a bull.
"Why did you come?"I break the silence, noticing he also stops.
"I came for you"He doesn't look away from the front—"I need you, babe, look at what you've done to me"He points to his crotch, my traitorous eyes turn to that place.
Sex, sex is the only thing you want from me, ha, what else would you want? For God's sake, Jacki, don't be stupid, he's made it clear that's all he wants from you.
"Your girlfriend is already here, isn't she enough?"I complain, I know I shouldn't, but how can I avoid it?
Getting to his room and hearing that stupid girl scream with pleasure while the man I like is doing to her what he does to me, I feel my blood boiling in a crazy way.
"Complaints?"He said, raising an eyebrow.
"Cameron, please, I don't understand what you're doing with me if you have her, or what you're doing with her if you have me"I try to keep my voice from breaking.
"Jackie babe, look at me—You are the woman I want in my bed, my female, understand? And she is just a front"Pain, a damn pain is what I feel in my chest with his words. I am nothing to him.
Oh God, who's going to want a servant and a black one at that? I sigh to calm the urge to cry, I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing a tear in my eyes.
"Take me home, my mom is going to worry because I'm taking too long."
He starts to run his hand up my leg, moving up to my sex where he strokes carefully over my pants, his touch feels so great that I hate myself for being so weak when I'm with him.
"Enough, Cameron"I want to remove his hand, but what I do is press it more when my hand is over his—"Ah!"I moan and I know I'm lost.
Immediately, he pounces on me like a lion on its prey, devouring my lips, in a way that is impossible to resist.
He is not kind, romantic, none of that, he is a savage, an animal but I love that he is like that, it is the only thing I know; I had never been with a man, he has been the only one, I have no point of comparison, all I know is that this wild animal takes me to heaven and hell in the same way.
He quickly takes off my sweater and also my bra, leaving my breasts bare.
He looks at me with those eyes filled with desire and I know mine must be the same, he attaches himself to them, like a newly born calf which makes my mind fog up even more.
He undoes the buttons of his pants, lowering them only to his knees, puts me on my back to him, leaving me at his mercy.
He enters me in such a savage way that I let out a scream, feeling full. He's so big and thick that I feel he's splitting me in two, but I enjoy it, I enjoy it a lot, I love this man, I don't think anyone will ever like me as much as he does.
After leaving me trembling, I know he's not satisfied but for now, that's all he's going to get from me. I don't want to go to his room, where he was rolling around with that insipid model.
He adjusts his clothes to take us home.
"Let it be clear that I'm left with all the desire, for today I will let pass that you're not going to my room but tomorrow night I want you without fail"He gives me orders as if I must comply with them.
"Cameron..."
"Nothing, without fail"I wish he would give me a kiss, hug me, show me that I'm more than sex, but I'm never going to have that, but I settle for having him, even if it is like this.
He stops a block before reaching his house and I know perfectly well that this is where I end with him. I get out without waiting for a kiss, or a gesture that doesn't happen. He starts his car, I walk the distance to the little house we use.
"My dear, what happened? Why are you late?"
"Nothing's wrong, mom, I was just wasting time with Kristin who was telling me something that happened to her"I lie to her, and since I've been with Cameron, I've lied to her more than I would have in my entire life.
"Daughter, you have to be careful, there's a lot of danger in the street."
"I know, mom, I'm not foolish, I can defend myself. I remind you that living in this city and cohabiting with just rich people, I have been victim of many mistreatments, you know".
"My love, I know but not all people are bad, among the good ones is Mrs. Helen, who has been for you like your own grandmother."
"I know, mom, I know there are good and bad people, and believe me, wanting to succeed in this world of hypocrisy is hard."I cradle her face in my hands—"You, because you spend your time locked up here within these four walls, and you don't have to go out on the street socializing with the others"I give her a kiss on each cheek.
"My life, I'm so sorry. Here they have also been very cruel to you. Mrs. Jenna is very tough sometimes but she's a good person"If only. That lady always looks at me badly and always tries not to touch me as if touching me disgusted her.
"Yes, mom, let's go to sleep because I'm very tired. Tomorrow I have to go to classes again and I also have to work"I tell her so she can sleep. I have to do a work, I know I don't have to deliver it yet but I have to advance as much as I can.
Thanks to Mrs. Helen, I had good studies; she helped me to study in the same high school as Miss Mia, although that very pedantic girl did nothing but mock me always, I endured because the one thing I wanted most was to finish studying so that I could get into this University, which I pay for with my salary and Mrs. Helen's help.
I can't stop thinking about Cameron, I don't know what it is that I feel for him, I feel so many things and I refuse to realize that it's something more than desire, skin, otherwise I'm going to suffer a lot. He will eventually marry Miss Elle and although I feel prepared for that day, the truth is that day I will also die.
I spend a few hours reading a great law book, I'd like to study criminal law, to be able to defend those people who are unjustly imprisoned.
My mom always taught me that what we do for others is what we take with us the day we leave this earth, neither material wealth do we take, no matter how people treat you, your essence is what counts, and nobody has the right to take away from us what characterizes us, what makes us different from others.
Elle Spears model, Cameron’s girlfriend, 23 years old.
Kristin Collen, 27-year-old friend of Jackeline.
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