첫┆ mama's promise

There was a sheer silent. Thick stupid empty aches. No covet, no joy and no worth. The unsaid promises, the unsaid worries, the undefine confessions and the unsaid thousand screams were wrapped inside an old torn dairy.

Unsettled lamp dimming were the wooden table was placed, unimpressed frown settled between charcoal gray iris's. Heavy-light breath going out and in when the fingers start to wrote the thousands unsaid accuses.

— Because no one is here to listen except the dairy which is very precious to...

...🥀🥀🥀...

22/05/2016. Saturday!

Dear —,

Love? Desire? Addled? Many things perpetual through my head like always, to discourage me, to broke me. Whenever am making a shield their is always something or someone waiting on my door to just give me pathetic support which I don't want.. Not anymore.

Love, the meaning of love I didn't know till now though someone before had said 'I love you' - it's feel like a cheap challenge to me.

They win me for a purpose challenge and ruined for their nectarous (whole bunch of offspring).

Even though am more capable to slap every single displeasing comment on their faces which they had thrown over me.

I wish I didn't give him 'a reason to ruined me but I did.

The feelings was so new to me, I have everyone but see am all alone with him. He... My dear savoir... My dear jubilee... Seeing seeking for warmth where my body is cold... I can't provide him... But he stay... Cry for my embrace to hold him.. And hide him from evil's eyes.... Which... Which they says, I am? Am that bad?.

For a moment I thought.. I thought to leave him in orphanage door and never turn back... Leave him for good... He will be save... He will be loved. But...

But the thought of my will doing.. Murky me.. How I can even think to do this.. To him...

Surely that bastards spell my mind.. My heart... my soul...

Now it' s not a matter to me anymore. The movement I held the small beanie in mine shaking hand.. I feel like whole universe gathered around and drop on my arms, mine empty hands filled with the joy, euphoric, pleased and blessed.

...🥀🥀🥀...

The shrill of soft whimpers snapping the boy, an omega who drop his pen and run toward the edge of mosses basket, where the new inbred kegling, thrashing his small body.

"shhh-hh a-am here" the omega whisper, the tune was Bearley hearable, he bend, took the bowling baby in his arms.

"am s-sorry, please sh...." he whispered again & tries hard not to break out, all feelings is new, all sensation is new. He has dream about it but, not alone.

— I wish we have 6 kids, all cutes and adorable...

The voices behind his mind always come when he, he's about to forget them. They don't leave him like a threat, always remind him how apathetic he is, always.

"please, don't cry, am here — shhhhh... Don't c-ry" the male omega didn't know how to clam down the small flesh.

He is very strong but love...

The knowledge about new born wasn't the thing he had learnt..

— Oh heavens! He don't have any little information about it.

He shake every thought of his mind and given his attention to the baby who was now sucking his clothe chest.

"are you hungry?" he asked and got his answer when the baby start sucking eagerly.

The corner of his lips lift up, he goes toward the corner of room where the bags resting, opening the blue Berry bag where's baby things was.

Mixing the formula powered with water, he sit on wooden chair in the centre of room with small table.

The house wasn't his, he rent it for a few days or weeks? He didn't know either.

How much the cost it take from him to be just a single wish...

— peaceful and loveful life with his family...

Hahah! Omega laugh out while he feed the new born "you know baby... I dream to have you with him..