It is you again

Marwa was sweeping the floor of the balcony. Suddenly,

she saw Ahmed and Omar getting out from the masjid.

They were praying in the masjid beside her home! None

of them plan for this to happen. She couldn’t believe

that she was thinking of him to the point she would see

him above her home! This scene made a strong belief

inside Marwa’s mind that there must be a thing between

her and Ahmed.

She couldn’t have a piece of advice from people around

her with acceptance of her choices. Despite her family

refusing that she decided to not attend her classes, they

watched her fail just to tell her you were wrong. Marwa

was getting sensitive from the crowd. She became a

socially anxious person. Her mates who used to talk

about her and Ahmed made her afraid of going to her

classes. So, she didn’t go to her class the whole next

year.

Ahmed started his classes and never felt relieved when

he felt Marwa was not with him. She wasn’t anywhere in

the classes. This made him absent-minded. He had to

study well to be an engineer like his father.

Marwa started to take antidepressants for her

depression episodes, because her feelings were getting

messed up more. The whole year was like a long episode

of torture and happiness of daydreams. Her delusions

were getting stronger than before. Things were getting

worse as her studying was harmed by her medicines.

One day at the psychiatrist’s clinic, Marwa was talking

about what happened with her the last night she got the

letters of decisions for college to her psychiatrist.

Marwa: And when I got rejected from a university I

applied to, I found myself crying and asking god: shall I

call him? She meant Ahmed. And after some days I went

to a class to try to break my anxiety and to help myself

in studying. I saw him there and I really didn’t know he

was there. I just went because I knew it was my friend’s

class. All of them looked at me in shock. He was looking

like struggling and sad; he was waving at his friends the

same way I do. After our class ended, I got out to hug my

friend, and when I did that, he looked at me in pain. He

looked the same way when I hugged my friend in front

of him at our party. When I was waving at another friend

by his side, he moved his head so quickly away, he used

to do that the last we’ve been at school. Marwa used to

talk about him in a passive way because she was so

afraid of saying his name so that anyone may know she

is in love with him.

A day later, Marwa went to look at the street from the

window after midnight. She saw a person like Ahmed

walking with his friend. She was lying to her eyes that it

was him. She was getting obsessed with him. She felt

every new and old song she listens to was sung for her

by him. She was getting delusional to higher degrees.

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