The true delusion

Days passed and exams of that year arrived. Marwa

finished her first exam of the day and went down to the

playground to revise for the second exam of the day.

The day was sunny despite it being December. She was

not well dressed because of exam hurry. She looked in

front of her from far away. She saw Ahmed there who

was very worried and anxious. He looked like he was

repeating words and looking in an anxious way. When

he recognized her, he smiled at her with a child's

innocent face. Marwa couldn’t believe what she saw,

then suddenly two girls talked beside her, and she was

in the middle of the conversation. She looked at them

and confirmed their questions in a dizzy way. She looked

at Ahmed again, she found him looking in a sad way and

when he found out she was looking at him again, he

smiled stronger than the first time. He was cheerful,

looking into the core of her eyes. He was begging her to

accept his love. Marwa couldn’t believe that he was truly

in love with her, although she thought that deep inside.

She also thought he might be waiting for a friend, so he

was looking towards her where she was in front of the

stairs. Tens of scenarios were flooding her mind. Until

she feels that he probably is in love with her and he is

asking her to be his partner. She felt she couldn't accept

his request, so she took her books away while looking at

him in a strange look. He looked in shock and looked

broken. He couldn’t believe he was refused from a girl.

His pride was broken, and he couldn’t conquer his

weakness of keeping his feelings inside or killing these

feelings. This is how he was thinking after what

happened. We can see that there was nothing to feel

bad or good at all. Nothing happened, but this led to

huge problems later “taking this scene as a base".

Ahmed looked at her for the third and last time that day,

asking her for the last time from that place with eyes:

are you sure? You don’t want me?

His eyes were sparkling for her, but Marwa looked in a

seriously strange way, and looked at her book to revise

for the exam. She was afraid of him and her reputation.

More than this, her brain was divided from that day into

two progressions. One was believing there is a feeling

from Ahmed’s side, and another was believing there is

nothing like that. He is just a silly, charming mate, who

she likes and maybe… in love with. The first side was

adding every skeptical scene of his love and configuring

it as evidence of his love. She started to feel annoyed

with these thoughts.

Exam is done, Marwa went to the playground with

friends and looked at Ahmed for the last time that day

and he didn’t see him that time. She saw him talking to a

teacher: Ms. Mona. She was asking him if he is ok

because he doesn’t look well today. He was telling her

that he is ok, affirming that he is well, despite that he

didn't look that way as he was rubbing his face in anger

like he is repressing annoyance.

Each of Ahmed and Marwa went home. Ahmed entered

his room quickly, threw himself on the bed and started

crying in silence. He felt he insulted himself by this deed.

Marwa hurt his feelings and she didn’t care, or at least

he thought that. He couldn’t imagine that one day he

will be into that situation. He started praying to God to

make him dead. And he fell asleep. Marwa was

questionable about what happened but focused on

exams instead.

On the last exam day, Ahmed became very hectic from

Marwa. Some feelings of hatred started to be

developed. This anger was because she refused him in

silence. He wanted to get revenge. Between the two

exams, he decided to gather his gang of friends and go

to Marwa's exam class while she and her friends are not

there. They started to put the chairs on each other,

smoke weed and do some annoying changes in the class

and went out. When Marwa entered the class with her

mates, she found that all the chairs were put on her

desk. This made her recognize what he meant to do at

times, but she didn’t care as she believed it would be the

best response to not care. Marwa’s silence was about

killing Ahmed every time he tried to get her attention.

The next semester began, and on the first day, Marwa

arrived at class early as usual. Ahmed came after her

arrival for some time and was looking like he was broken

and was crying after he woke up, like he was afraid he

would see her again and can’t express his feelings, that

he will see the girl who broke his heart and make him

unconscious with his deeds. A lot of thoughts like these

Marwa could read inside him. She thought she was

getting delusional as she believed. He looked at her that

way and entered, while Marwa looked in a serious face

and rolled eyes away at the teacher to listen to the

lecture.

Ahmed’s emotions were not stable. He was having bad

nightmares; he was feeling with torture because the

hardest thing a man can feel from a woman is to be

refused. Marwa didn’t know that her seriousness was

taking her to a bad way. She dealt with her emotions

with repression. She didn’t know if she did well, she

tried to avoid everything, every gesture, every talk her

friends talk about, every post on facebook she sees

about him while she surfs his account. No way! She still

loves him, and she denies it.

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