Introducing the novel

Our eyes roll to see what we sense around… but protected with the eyelids. They shrink when we care, imitate when we love, ask for intimidation. At High school, we are friends. Boys and girls, seeking to ‘learn’ and understand life. Do you remember One Direction? Do you remember football at school? Those girls looking at this handsome guy, this boy searching for her. Those sentences which weren’t completed except in our orders. We couldn’t keep a sentence in mind except for a change or forgetting. I am a teenager! Those celebrities and surfing their news, your new T-shirt, your first eyeliner! Your eyes were tracking her, was she tracking you too? What about mental health? They told you that you were autistic, you took SSRIs, maybe you are delusional? The story talks about a boy and a girl at high school who have psychological issues that turn to mental illness during experiencing love with each other without knowing the boy that the girl loves him, as well as the girl. The common rope between them in this story is that she gets diagnosed with delusional disorder about loving each other as a fact. Later, she suffers from post- traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and gets psychosis and mania and enters a psychiatric hospital and takes ECT sessions so that she gets blur insight about her love ideas. The boy who had narcissistic personality disorder traits was really in love with this girl and he thought he was delusional. It is discovered that the boy had autism and ADHD as a kid and had been on SSRIs without knowing this fact. The family had a role in this love story  as the girl’s dad had oppressed the boy’s dad one day in business matters. And after 20 years, the day came out to make him suffer from his daughter’s illness from the boy and the boy’s dad tells the girl’s dad that God took revenge from him because he oppressed him one day.

First scene:

Eyes open in the darkness of a boy of 17 on his bed. It is

dawn. The boy is kindly walking up, washing and pray.

After saluting at the end of prayer, he stares at his

widow's sky talking to God about his dreams. This is

Ahmed, the deserving of praise for his good character.

Ahmed: Ya Allah, I’m lost in this life. I’m trying as I can to

do what you want me to do. I don’t want anything

except to be satisfied with myself. Please Allah, give me

satisfaction and pleasure, and save my family from any

crisis. Amen.

Ok, we can say now that Ahmed is a kind person. Yes, he

is in the deep corner but, there is a side which is not the

same thing.

At the same time, a girl was praying to God to let her

end these deep feelings that she can’t understand. She

was crying, she was lost as well. She said: Allah, please

help me in this life, I can’t resist anymore. I love you

more than anything.. I’m sorry if I say things I shouldn’t

say but, I’m tired of having these torturing daydreams.

I’m tired of trying to connect to people and engaging in

their conversations. I’m tired of suppressing this desire

of socializing and having fun with them and instead,

having daydreams! Please Allah, Let me get healed from

this soon. Amen.

Marwa felt relieved after her prayers and went to sleep

again, to get ready for school after a couple of hours.

We can mostly understand what Marwa’s basic

problems from her prayers are. She suffers from

dissociation and we are going to discover more.

Ahmed: MAMA, I’m going to school okay? Bye!

Ahmed’s mother: Okay honey take care of yourself.

Marwa: I’m getting out mum, Bye!

Marwa’s mother: Bye Marwa, Take care.

It is 8 o’clock at school. Ahmed and Marwa are at the

same floor, they see each other far from the corridor up

to the class from two different stairs. Eyes express

interest from Marwa’s side, Eyes express coldness from

Ahmed’s side. They enter the class which began minutes

ago.

Guys at class: Hey Ahmed! Man, how are you?

Ahmed: Good, how are you men?

And sits down.

Marwa sits in silence.

Can we see that Ahmed is a bit showy? Or maybe he is

just famous for his beauty and kindness?

This is what Marwa thought about him all the years she

knew him at school. Because Marwa was sensitive, she

hated to express that she liked him and his character

especially that year. She was sensitive and didn’t talk to

the point she was afraid of being judged by people if she

talked with her nature. She was blunt but inside she was

so calm.

Ahmed was getting vibrated with every behavior around

him at school. He was going to play football with other

grades and after minutes talk to some friends and at the

same time waving at his teacher and at the same time

drinking water and at the same time.. Hard to count! He

was so energetic as a teenager. Later, he can appear so

cold and anesthetic. What was the reason?

He had pale skin and disgusted facial expressions when

he was around people in the morning. But he keeps

exaggerating energy everywhere. Then, a cold face. It

can seem natural for a teenager but, it can seem

questionable too for Marwa; because Marwa was a fan

of personalities despite, she was an introvert. She

always felt that there is a strange thing in him. She

thought he may be schizophrenic, because she believes

she is also schizophrenic, so she can find a clue for a

thing common between them, so she can love him and..

Yay! That is how some ideas inside Marwa’s head were

flowing. Instead, she was trying to understand the

question about why she finds something in common

between them from time to time. She finds out he likes

things probably as what she likes. She monitors him

from time to time thinking about what the end of this

interest she has will take her for.

Marwa: I refuse these feelings. No, Uh.. Ok. It is ordinary

to have these feelings as I’m a teen but, no.. Uh. It is

hard.

It was all deep inside Marwa’s unconsciousness. She

never knew or perceived that her feelings were growing

for him.

She can’t remember what the beginning for these

feelings was; because she didn’t think it will matter to

remember her feelings for the one, or as defined after

some years.

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